


Unraveling & Restitching

by Lil_Chan



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Garrison trio, Insecurities, Langst, Lions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Nightmares, Pubescent teens - Freeform, Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), Torture, War, night terror, plangst, surrogate father
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-07-04 19:20:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 53,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15847719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lil_Chan/pseuds/Lil_Chan
Summary: A slow-burn tragedy.This is a tale of unyielding friendship and finding love in a time of war. Zarkon is dead. Peace is spreading thanks to the alliance between Lotor's new Galran Empire and the Voltron Coalition, but something sinister is brewing. A new form of warfare threatens to destroy the paladins from the inside out.





	1. A Dance for the One who Mopes

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!  
> I am absolute trash for Voltron: Legendary Defender. I adore the Garrison trio, so of course I am gonna write about them. My favorite ships are Plance (Lance x Pidge) and Hunay (Hunk x Shay). This is my first time writing a fanfic, so friendly pointers would be wonderful :D I'm always looking to improve. 
> 
> * This story is also posted on my Voltron Amino under the name HeatherNRM.
> 
> I am in college, but I will do my best to post new chapters every Friday. I hope you enjoy and feel free to comment what you think  
>  
> 
> Warning: this story may have a fluffy start, but I promise it will not stay that way. There will be blood, death, and tears.

The celebration was long overdue. Several phoebs had passed since the death of Zarkon and the forging of the alliance between Lotor’s new Galra empire and the Voltron coalition. Resistance from Zarkon’s previous generals and power-hungry upstarts had kept both parties preoccupied. Despite the constant threat of attack, it could not be put off any longer. The galaxy needed to witness the turn of the tide. It needed to see that their resilience and the loss of comrades hadn’t been for not. Lance understood the importance of the gala, but that did not make seeing Allura on Lotor’s arm any easier.

The blue paladin kept to himself. He sat on steps off to the side and away from the crowd, wearing a blue vested suit with brown shoes and a matching tie. He had attempted to style his hair, but the gel Coran had lent him, worked more like glue and no amount of water seemed to wash it out. The front of his hair was pushed up and to the side… and stuck. He would have a few choice words with Coran and his eccentric mustache later. He was uncomfortable with the new look; it showed too much of his forehead.

For once he was not in the mood to celebrate and be in the spotlight. Lance cradled his untouched nunvill. He had grown accustomed to the Altean beverage but not even his mother’s homemade lemonade could wash away the heavy pit in his stomach. Lance sighed to himself. Homesickness and jealously seemed to follow him everywhere since the alliance had formed. His heart was in the cause, but he was feeling himself begin to unravel.

From his raised position to the side, he could see all the guests who entered the gala. Many of the faces were familiar leaders and citizens from the planets they had freed at the beginning of the resistance, while others were new and less familiar. Two forms entered the gala. Hunk was unmistakable despite seeming uncomfortable in his fine garb and yellow vest. By his side was much smaller figure. She appeared to be trying to calm Hunk’s flustering. Lance did not recognize her. She was petite with a head of auburn curls and garbed in a wispy green gown. She kind of resembled a fairy without wings. Had they freed a planet of fairy folk? The fact that he had to ask proved once again to himself that he was becoming a mess.

Lance turned his eyes towards the head of the room; towards Allura and Lotor as they took their place at the podium. Speech time. The party was about to officially commence. The room fell silent and Allura began with the proper greetings that were complimented by Lotor’s agreement. As their words progressed into appreciating how far they have come and hopes for the future, Lance’s mind wandered. He stared at the beautiful Princess Allura. She looked especially lovely in her pale blue gown with her white locks cascading around her shoulders. Her tanned cheeks held a glow that had been increasingly difficult to ignore. The glow had nothing to do with her Altean markings, but more from an overwhelming sense of happiness. Was it because the war was finally turning in their favor or was it something else? Lance’s eyes flicked over Lotor. He was the image of strength and confidence. His suit held a similar design to his normal armor but carried a sense of ceremonial formal flair. He was the new Galra emperor and Allura was an Altean princess. Of course, as leaders they would need to spend time together… was his mind just imagining there could be something more between them? Lance set his cup of nunvill down beside him and sighed. He was being pathetic. How long had it been since his life turned and he and his fellow paladins were entrusted with saving the universe? How long had he been gutlessly pursing the princess?

Beyond his blurred vision of intrinsic thought, he noticed the crowd as it began to move again. The speech had concluded and now the dancing, mingling and eating could begin. A tiny figure of green appeared in front on him. Lance looked up and was surprised to see the fairy-like girl from earlier. She appeared to be recovering from heavy laughter as her face was flushed and hadn’t yet tamed her grin. That crooked grin and freckled nose, was that Pidge?! He was stunned.

“Did you hear me? I said, check out Hunk! He is going to ask Shay to dance!” Pidge pointed out the pair as they fidgeted in their fancy garb, both clearly unaccustomed to formal wear. Lance’s mind was reeling. He inspected the tiny figure before him. Same size, same color hair, same eyes, same nose, same silly grin and voice… the girl before him was definitely Pidge, just unusually feminine.

“You look like a girl.” He uttered before he could stop himself. Pidge smirked.

“You are the only one who seems to forget that.”

“Was the dress your idea or did Allura force you?” He gave her a weak smile. He was trying to be like his normal self and was failing.

“I’ll have you know, I used to wear dresses all the time back on Earth. I guess between tricking the Garrison and with all our Voltron escapades I never switched back to my girl apparel. Besides, dresses are not very practical when it comes to fighting.” Pidge’s enthusiasm was met with silent acknowledgment. She was not satisfied. “What? Don’t you think it suits me?” She grabbed the hems of her dress and did a quick hop dance. Lance noticed a redness oh her bare toes.

“Where are your shoes?” He asked with a raised eyebrow. Pidge’s face ditched its glee for a pout.

“They were evil, so I may have had to blast them. Now the universe if free from their treachery.” Lance finally cracked a smile when Pidge put her hands together to enact the shooting of the shoes that had wronged her. Same ol’ Pidge.

“Allura did help me though. Even on Earth I never really used makeup or styled my hair. I’m not sure if this look really suits me. It’s a little over the top, huh?” She flicked a curl and pinched the fabric of her dress. She was uncomfortable being dressed up too. When had their paladin armor become more comforting than actual clothing?

“Hunk bet me a dozen rolled cakes that I would trip over my dress before the night ends. Dumb lug can’t even ask a girl to dance and he is gonna say I can’t walk.” She crossed her arms in mock annoyance before giggling. Lance could not match her energy and Pidge noticed his sigh. “This is a party, isn’t it?” She extended a hand to her teammate. “Dance with me.”

Lance wasn’t sure he heard her correctly. Dance? With Pidge? The puny tomboy tech geek of the crew was asking him to dance? That was his role. He was supposed to be the smooth ladies man. When had he lost touch with himself?

Pidge saw the confusion and conflict flash over Lance’s face. She groaned. “Ughh, come on. No more moping; it’s unbecoming of you.” Before Lance could respond, Pidge grabbed his arm and pulled him to his feet. His face flushed in surprise and stumbled when she tugged him down the steps towards the dance floor.

The music was upbeat and required enthusiasm that Lance currently lacked. Pidge released his arm to begin dancing out of step with the beat; she didn’t seem to care. Her arms were raised in little fists above her head and grinned up at him. There were yellow and blue shimmers glinting at him with each sway of her dress. He hadn’t noticed it earlier. Before he had assumed it was just a plain lime colored dress. Pidge really did look like a fairy.

Lance did not know when it happened, but he realized he was grinning. The ache in his chest had softened and slowly, he began to match his groove to the music’s tempo.

“There he is!” Pidge grinned. Lance looked around and realized she was looking at him.

“What do ya mean? I’ve been here this whole time.” Lance didn’t miss a beat.

“No, you haven’t.” The music faded and a slow song softened the room’s energy. Dancers began to exit the floor or pair up. Lance moved to leave and catch his breath when he felt a light jab to his turned shoulder. “You are gonna leave a girl to slow dance on her own?”

Pidge’s comment had Lance taken aback. Pidge was his teammate. Sure, she was a girl, but he never thought of her as one. Wasn’t slow dancing something you did with someone you like? He fought the urge to find Allura in the crowd. Lance turned back to Pidge. Despite her disheveled curls and a faint shimmer of perspiration, she appeared calm; not one echo of the uncertainty that plagued Lance. He felt lost. Pidge smirked and grabbed up his hand and slid her other up to his right shoulder. Lance gulped back his embarrassment. His free hand hovered over Pidge’s back, unsure of where to place it. As she began to lead them, Lance regained control of his nerves and calmly rested his hand above her waist; careful not to go to low. Their movements were occasionally off beat, but Lance could not deny the ease that had finally settled over him.

“So, What’s up with you? Why are you all mopey lately?”

Lance smiled to himself. She may be in a dress, but she was still the same ol’ Pidge. “It’s nothing – Ow!” Pidge had flicked his ear with her fingers.

“I’m not an idiot. What’s bothering you?” Her eyes were soft, but there was a sternness that Lance felt compelled to obey. He sighed in defeat.

“I guess I’m just really homesick. I don’t even know how long it’s been since I last saw my family. I know our job is important and I have the best teammates a guy could ask for, but I still feel lonely. Plus, everyone seems to have their niche. Keith has the Blades, Shiro is our leader and has been distant lately, Coran has the entire castle to keep tuned, you and Hunk have your tech and Allura has Lotor now.” Lance scanned the crowd for the Princess and found her smiling up at Lotor. Lance grimaced when Lotor gave her a fanged smile in returned; the ache returned to his chest. “Where does that leave me?” He turned his gaze to his feet and the shimmering flares of Pidge’s dress.

“You are the right hand of Voltron; Shiro’s right hand. You are one of Allura’s trusted teammates and not to mention a member of the infamous Garrison trio of trouble. Keith can’t even claim that title.” She smirked, but Lance was unfazed and didn’t meet her eye. “Look,” she sighed. “If your libido has taken a hit, I can’t help you there. Allura and Lotor are out of our hands. It’s a good move, politically speaking, and I can see why she is taken with him.” Pidge saw the gloom deepen in Lance’s face and gave his shoulder a light squeeze. “We all know you have been pining for the princess since we first came on this crazy adventure, but did you honestly think she would take your passes seriously when you flirt with every girl you see?”

Pidge was right. He never thought he had a chance so he had hid his insecurities by playing the stud. Had he hoped to make Allura jealous? He really was a fool.

“While Allura may not look at you romantically, you still have her heart. You have all of ours. We are a team. We may not be your blood, but we are all still family. Don’t ever feel like you are alone.”

Lance’s heart glowed at her words and turned his eyes up to meet hers. The sincerity caused his throat to constrict. When did this tomboy learn how the inner wirings of his heart worked? It was terrifying, but he was grateful.

They continued to sway in silence until the song faded. As upbeat tunes filled their ears, Pidge led Lance off the dance floor. “Let’s go check on Hunk and Shay. I’m worried his nerves will drive him to eat himself into a coma.” Lance saw his hand was still in hers but did nothing to remove it; she did that on her own the moment they reached their teammate’s table. The yellow paladin welcomed them and Shay waved in greeting.

***

“Paladin Pidge, how lovely you look!” The sparkle in Shay’s illuminated yellow eyes had Pidge blushing. She scratched the back of head in awkward bashfulness.

“You think? I feel so strange. It feels like a million deca-phoebs since I last wore a dress.”

“Dress? Is that the name of the garment you wear? It suits you well.” Pidge’s flush deepened. The balmaren’s compliments on her appearance were not something her ears were use to hearing. As a distraction, she observed Shay. A flower carved from what she guessed was a blue Balmeran crystal had been attached to one of her horns. Her typical stone-like earrings were now that of the same crystal. The glossy blue complimented her yellow balmaren formal garb lined with green. Pidge’s eyes flashed to Hunk. He too was wearing yellow; at least his vest was. Had they planned on matching? She flushed again at the thought.

“Thanks Shay. You look lovely too. Is that a flower carved out of crystal? It’s beautiful.”

“Yes. It belonged to my mother. My brother, Rax worried I would lose it if I wore it tonight, but I assured him I would be careful.”

“I’m sure Hunk will help protect it for you.” She threw her teammate a mischievous grin.

“Ahhh, yeeah. Of course! Though I doubt Shay needs protecting. She could crush me if she wanted.” Pidge frowned. While true, Shay’s Balmeran strength was nonnegotiable, no girl wanted to hear that. “You have no tact –“ Pidge noticed Lance looking at her with glossy eyes. It was several ticks before he realized he had been staring.

***

“Uhhh,”

“Oh man, Pidge! Lance! You have to try this!”

Lance sighed in gratitude for the save. There were seven dishes laid out on the table; all offering a diverse collection of grub. It was as if Hunk had brought a sampling of the entire buffet to his table. He began to point out the winning dishes, encouraging Lance and Pidge to taste.

The night passed and Lance melted into his friend’s company, worries temporarily forgotten. Seeing his two teammates and Shay laugh as they cringed or gushed over the food made him question why he ever felt alone in the first place. Hunk did finally ask Shay to dance. She worried her Balmeran style would not match his own. Hunk assured her that he had none, so it really didn’t matter. That earned him a chuckle.

The duo left Lance alone with Pidge. He wondered if she would pry again, but she didn’t. They made small talk and joked about Hunk's two left feet before Shiro stopped by their table. For the moment, he distant attitude that had been growing between Lance and their leader seemed non-existent.

Eventually they decided to join Hunk and Shay on the Dance floor, but while making their way over, Pidge did indeed trip over her dress. Lance caught her by the arm and saved her from kissing the floor. She made Lance cross his heart and swear not to tell Hunk. With a chuckle he obliged and made an X over his chest. It hadn't mattered; Hunk saw the whole thing. His teasing and joy for the promised rolled cakes persisted for the rest of the night. Pidge accepted her loss with as much gace as her walking would have been if she hadn't blasted her heels.

The end of the evening had arrived and the paladins made a group appearance to thank all who attended. As the five paladins stood before the leaders of freed worlds and fellow allies, the future appeared bright; and not just for the universe but for Lance’s lonely heart. This wasn’t Cuba or Earth, but it was a home. These quirky paladins were his family and he loved them. He made a promise to himself that he would quit being an idiot. He would focus on his missions. He would be the best paladin he could be… and if he won the heart of a princess along the way, that would just be a perk. Lance shook the thought from his head; he was already digressing. A shimmer of light stabbed at his eyes. It was from Pidge’s dress. He gave Allura another glance then turned his eyes back on his petite teammate. Pidge had been the one to acknowledged his funk… perhaps she would be the one to make him right again.


	2. Reunited

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was excited to write this chapter. It was my initial inspiration for the entire fic.  
> I hope you enjoy.

Lance inhaled a ragged breath of air as his eyes scanned his perimeter. He was surrounded. He let out a burst of shots from his bayard and dove for cover to his right. His armor sparked as he took a laser blast to his left thigh. Dammit, I’m getting sloppy! He had zero time to catch his breath. A sentinel flashed in the corner of his eye and fired off another shot; the static heat, burnt into the wall, was mere inches from his neck. His eyes searched for new cover. His salvation was ten meters to his right. He didn’t have time to question if he could make it. His shield materialized on his left arm, while providing his own covering fire with his right. Two of the sentinels dropped but the remaining twelve converged on his location. They encircled him and fired simultaneously. Lance managed to block five of the shots but without his teammates, he had no way of fending off the entire assault. He cursed as his chest, shoulder, calf and abdomen all began to spark. A warning in his helmet announced his suit’s imminent failure. His cover was still four meters away. He made to dive for it when another shot caught him in the ankle and shocked his balance and dropped him to one knee. Dammit! It was hopeless. The blue armored paladin’s will vaporized and he slumped to both knees. His shield and beyard lay useless on either side of him. Lance raised his head as the sentinels closed in. The way they hovered gave off the impression they were dancing, as if to mock him. 

Dancing. Pidge had asked him to dance not long ago. She had grabbed his hand with confidence, smiled, and told him he wasn’t alone. The sentinels glowed red as they charged up for their final assault. 

What pretty lies.

The blasts came simultaneously, striking the paladin from all sides. Critical Failure screamed in his helmet until it too was silenced by a final head shot. 

*** 

The simulation was over and Lance was in a sour mood. He had gone to the training deck to let off steam but he had been too distracted. It was as if he had digressed to a state worse than when he first arrived at the Castle of Lions. I’m so pathetic. Gah! What’s wrong with me?! Two movements had passed since the Alliance’s celebratory gala. Lance had been uplifted with hopes for the future. His confidence towards his place in the resistance and among his teammates had been restored but now, that high was crashing. Two movements and aside from one relief mission on a planet suffering from overactive molten activity, the Voltron calendar had been dry. 

Lance hadn’t seen much of Shiro but that was becoming less alarming. Lately, their team leader preferred his solitude. Something was off about him but every time Lance tried to approach him about it, he was reprimanded. Lance didn’t like to admit it but he was sensitive to harsh tones. It became evident that Lance could not go anywhere without igniting anger or irritation in the majority of his teammates. With the attitude of a whipped dog, Lance had resided himself to solitude. He just wished he was as comfortable with it as Shiro appeared to be. Spending time with Allura was out of the question. Ever since Lance saw the affectionate glances between the princess and Lotor at the gala, he couldn’t stomach being alone with her. He had tried but the moment he opened his mouth to speak, he found himself overwhelmed with stutters and nausea. He was mortified and infuriated with himself. Was this heartbreak? He couldn’t blame Allura for his condition, as Pidge had confirmed, he never pursued the princess’ affections properly. He never actually confessed, so there wasn’t anything for her to reject. She was merely living each day, oblivious to the feelings she unintentionally crushed. 

Surprisingly, what crushed Lance even more than Allura was the shunning treatment he received from both Hunk and Pidge. Due to the validation of their friendship and family-like status at the gala, he had expected to spend much of his free time with them. He had visited them at their normal work space on their days off. He had found them surrounded by unreadable nerd calculations, wiring and monitors but the moment he entered, both demanded his presence be removed. It was not the first time he had been thrown out but the intensity with which they did, stung. 

Maybe it was his stubborn nature but Lance pursued their company the following day. When they weren’t in their workroom, Lance searched for Hunk in the kitchen. When that was a bust he visited Hunk’s room and found the duo seated on the floor. They had a tangle of wires and computer bits at their feet. Their lack of personal space was alarming, but even more so was the speed with which Pidge shot up to her feet. She proceeded to trip over the cords that ensnared her toes as she yelled for him to get out. Lance did not question the ferocity in her eyes and let them be. 

Lance did not pursue them for two quintents. His mind puzzled over how close Pidge and Hunk had been. He couldn’t help but feel that he had walked in on something he shouldn’t have. Lance had thought Hunk had his sights on Shay, so he wasn’t prepared for the notion that maybe Hunk and Pidge could be an item. His memory flashed through all the moments that could be construed as intimate between his two teammates. They were both crazy intelligent and techy. Hunk was clumsy at times but they had both pulled off several infiltration and hack missions together. There had been plenty of time for feelings beyond normal comradery to grow. They even bickered over single and double modulations like a grumpy old couple of nerds. How had he not seen it before? He decided to find Pidge and apologize, considering she was the one who appeared most upset over his intrusion. 

Before he could talk himself out of it, Lance found himself in front of Pidge’s door. His knock went unanswered. Lance had learned his lesson from before and didn’t try the door. As he turned to leave however, his hand passed too close to the sensor and triggered the door’s latch, and it released and slide open. Lance looked over his shoulder with surprised guilt but the sight before him made him release the tension from his shoulders. Hunk and Pidge had fallen asleep on the floor, propped up against her bed. Hunk’s head was tipped back against the bed and snored loudly, while Pidge’s face was nuzzled against his shoulder. Both appeared to be exhausted and hadn’t stirred at the sound of the door opening. Once again, Lance found himself intruding upon them but at least he had confirmation. They really were together and he was the odd man out. His hand trembled before swiping it over the sensor to hide the scene he was never meant to see. 

***

Furious with his failed simulation test and conflicted by the pain in his heart, Lance meandered around the halls of the castle. His mind wandered but kept returning to the dance that had restored the beat to his heart… temporarily. Lance had made a promise to himself that night at the gala. He promised he would become better, that he would stop being an idiot… but it had only taken two movements for that promise to unravel. 

What have I been doing all this time? Lance clenched his fists as he relived his surrender to the sentinels in the training simulator. Why was he such a wreck? Was it because he expected Pidge’s coddling to continue? Had he slumped so low, that he needed constant reaffirmation from his teammate to feel validated as a paladin? A flash of red striking him square between the eyes of his helmet reminded him that he would not receive what he had not earned. 

It had been several quintents since Lance had walked in on Pidge and Hunk napping together and he hadn’t sought them out since. Considering they hadn’t called upon him, Lance assumed he wasn’t needed. Needing to calm his nerves but knowing the remaining members of the Garrison Trio were “preoccupied,” Lance led himself to Kalteneker’s pasture. The cow had been gifted to Lance and Pidge after their escapade of earning enough GAC to buy a video game console. It was Ironic that he turned to the spoils of their tom-foolery when in distress over their friendship. 

Kalterneker was a great listener and Lance bared his soul to the cow. He explained how he thought things had changed, that he had grown closer to his teammates. Pidge had told him he wasn’t alone, but the way she and Hunk rejected him, left him with an ache in his chest. Lance imagined Kalteneker’s response. _It’s because you talk too much. You overreact and are distracting._ Lance grimaced. He knew that; but being in their presence, even if he only sat twiddling his thumbs while they worked, was better than being alone. He didn’t want to be alone. He was tired of it. So tired. 

Lance had a sudden impulse to take Red and fly to a planet in one of the neighboring quadrants. If the planet was a part of the alliance, they wouldn’t refuse him if he wanted to visit a lounge or pub and have a few drinks. His eyes sparkled at the idea of beautiful locals fawning over him, then sighed and imagined Kaltenerker’s response. _Lance, you realize that that would just be a temporary fix for your current misery. You really are pathetic. That womanizing habit of yours is what makes others not take you seriously in the first place. Besides, can you really trust yourself to drink alone on a foreign planet? How irresponsible._

Lance was of legal drinking age, by Earth-Cuban standards, but he had only partaken of alcohol a few times in his life. His grandma used to spike his lemonade during family gatherings; never a lot, but just enough to let him feel like he was one of the grown-ups. Lance smiled at the memory of his mother scolding his grandmother when she discovered why her son had been giggling all evening. Ever since Lance joined the Garrison and then Voltron, there hadn’t been an opportunity or reason to drink, except once. It had been an accident. Voltron had successfully freed a planet under Galra occupation and at the celebratory banquet, the locals offered them fermented beverages. All members of Voltron had quickly been reduced to uncontrollable laughter and hugs. Keith had been Red’s paladin then and even he had been Mr. Smiley that evening. Lance longed to relive the feeling of a simpler time. Now things were complicated. The enemy wasn’t clear to him anymore. Now, even allies seemed villainous. An image of Lotor flashed through his mind and Lance bit his lip. _Lotor isn’t the enemy,_ Kalteneker chided in his head; _that’s just your jealously talking. Why don’t you quit your crying and stop focusing on others? Do as you promised. Go make yourself a better paladin, a better man._

Lance kicked himself. He couldn’t go to a lounge. Would he be a ball of giggles, or tears? He didn’t trust himself. If he had too much to drink he might make a scene and embarrass Voltron’s image. He felt like he was walking a wire with Shiro as it was; he couldn’t afford a disaster like that. If he was going to stay true to his word, he needed to actually put in an effort. He had to finally stop the loop of self-pity he found himself in. It was settled; he did not need alcohol to numb his mind, he needed training to hone it. He would become strong in order to validate himself in his own eyes. 

“Kalterneker, my beauty, you are harsh and sometimes brutally honest, but it was what I needed to hear. Thank you.” He gave the cow a kiss on her wet nose and left to suit up. The cow merely watched in silence as her companion retreated then returned to grazing. 

“Alright you sentinel bastards; time for a rematch.” 

***

Pidge wiped her brow as she powered down the monitor before her. The room was stuffy but her face was caught between disbelief and pure joy. She had done it! After phoebs and phoebs of prep, calculations and recalibrations, it finally worked! She rose from her seat and grabbed her favorite green and white sweatshirt from the floor. She tied it around her waist and left the storage room that she had commandeered as the home for her new project. She was tired, but she had one more thing to do before calling it a day; she had to find Lance. 

She checked his room, no Lance. She checked their gaming room, nothing. The kitchen, nadda. Kalterneker’s pasture, nope. Was he actually training? She finally found him on the training deck. He was in the middle of sniper practice. He was crouched and poised to shoot. Pidge held her breath, not wanting to distract his concentration. A flicker caught her eye, but it exploded before she could register it as a flying drone. Another appeared to the right. It too burst from a quick squeeze of Lance’s trigger. The difficulty level began to rise and drones began to appear in pairs, then in trios and the numbers grew. Pidge was awed with the number targets. As they drew near to Lance, they began to fire. Lance had to activate his shield and dive for cover. She did not know how he moved with such grace when his sniper was so bulky. As if reading her mind, his bayard flashed and transformed into a smaller rifle. Lance began to squeeze off shots in quick succession. The drones began to drop out of the air but their numbers were still too many. He took a laser shot to the thigh and Lance released a grunt. There was another flash as his rifle became a sword. He dogged another wave of lasers and slashed the drones that were on top of him. Gaining distance from his enemies, his bayard reverted back to his rifle and felled the remaining drones. 

Pidge was impressed. He had unlocked the sword within his bayard only a few phoebs ago, and already he transitioned between weapons like a natural. 

***

“Hey, Sharpshooter!” Lance turned to see Pidge in surprise. She was dressed in grey cargo shorts, a black tank top that revealed surprisingly toned arms and shoulders, and had her sweatshirt tied low on her hips. It made her appear curvier than he knew her to be. She waved at him with a giant crooked grin. He lifted an arm to wave back. He was panting from exertion when a laser punched him in the shoulder. The shock of it nearly stopped his heart. He missed one? No, it had been hiding, waiting. That was the lesson. Even when you think you’ve won, you double, triple check. He had let his guard down. He hadn’t expected Pidge either, but that was part of the lesson as well; surprises happen. 

Lance’s bayard flashed and became a sniper. He raised his shield to catch another laser blast to his left and inhaled. Lance raised the scope of his weapon to be level with his eye. The drone wavered near to the needle. He exhaled and squeezed, dropping the drone with a sparking crunch. Lance stayed poised, his eyes scanning the arena, listening for the slightest disturbance in air current. When he was satisfied that all was still, he lowered his bayard and it reverted back it its neutral form. 

“Ehh, sorry.” Lance turned at Pidge’s shaky apology. “I thought it was over.” A pink tint in her cheeks told him she was embarrassed. Had she been watching the whole time?

“It’s not your fault. I got too comfortable and treated it like it was just a training simulation.”

“But it is just a training simulation.” Pidge said.

“Yeah, but if this was real life, I would have a gaping hole in my shoulder right now. It just shows that I am still too distracted. I need more focus.” He thought he had been, but the moment he heard Pidge’s voice, it was over.

“You are being too hard on yourself. I feel like so much of our fighting is done in our lions that I don’t get to see much of everyone’s actual fighting abilities; but what you just did was amazing! Your bayard has three levels of transformation and you interchange them with such ease!” Lance’s face burned under her praise and was grateful to still be wearing his helmet. 

“You think so? I feel like I still have a lot to improve on.” 

“Oh! Speaking of improvements, I developed this new tech that you have to see!” There were stars in Pidge’s eyes. She was always incredibly passionate when it came to her gadgets. He wondered what she came up with this time, but –

“Is that why you are here? Can I take a shower first?” He was stubbornly bitter after two movements of neglect. 

“No time! Trust me, you’ll want to see this. I don’t think I can keep it from you any longer.” Lance sighed, but that last comment perked his interest. He followed after his teammate who was already out the door. He caught up to her and he removed his helmet. She was suddenly quiet, making Lance uneasy.

***

Pidge began to fidget with her hands before speaking again. “I… I’m sorry for shouting at you before.” Lance looked at her like he had no idea what she was talking about “When you tried to hang out with me, uhhh, us, when we were working… I yelled at you to leave. I’m sorry.”  
“Oh, that.” Lance laughed nervously. “It’s not the first time I have been kicked out while you were tinkering. I didn’t even notice.” Lance’s smile didn’t touch his eyes. He was lying. Pidge’s mouth felt sour. 

“I’m really sorry. After you had told me how you were lonely, I went and pushed you away. I hope you don’t think I was lying to you when I said you had all our hearts… that we are one big family.” She saw the pinch in his eyes before he could hide it with another fake smile.

“N-no of course not. I was totally staying busy, so I didn’t think that at all!” Lance’s voice was unsteady and Pidge scowled. He had. She was the worst. 

“I promise I did it for a good reason. I didn’t want you around because… because I wanted you to be surprised.” Lance looked confused.  
They rounded a corner and Hunk was standing in front of a storage closet. He had his arms crossed and his foot tapped with expectation. 

“Ahhh, Finally! I was going crazy waiting for you guys!”

“What’s going on?” Lance asked, his voice small. 

Pidge stopped walking and looked up at Lance. “Before we sent my dad back to Earth, I loaded him up with some transmission equipment, monitors and these.” Pidge fished out a smooth stone from her grey cargo shorts’ pocket and pressed it into Lance’s hand. “They allow for real time communication with its pair. I worked with some of the engineers on Olkarion to develop them. You hold them in your hand and speak into it and the person who has its partner can listen and respond.” 

Lance stilled. “Do you mean-?”

“But that’s not even the best part!” Pidge grabbed Lance’s forearm and pulled him to the closet. Hunk opened the door. “Hunk and I finally found a way to link them to a monitor, so you can not only hear the person, but see them as well. It was tricky; there were a few glitches we had to fine tune because Earth is so far away. Even our high-powered transmitters had trouble reaching; that’s why it took so long. But we finally developed a way that makes distance a nonfactor.” 

***

Lance began to tremble. Was he hearing what he thought he was hearing? Was he understanding Pidge correctly? Had she developed a way to call home? He felt his nose tingle as the tears pricked at his eyes. 

Lance could barely follow the ramble of instructions that left Pidge’s mouth. The storage room offered extra privacy to the user – Color-coded sticky notes assigned to different paladins - routing codes. She pointed to where the codes get inputted and took the stone from his hand and showed him that there was a tiny port that could be connect to the monitor. She appeared to be dancing around the tiny closet as she spoke. He registered her enthusiasm but all Lance could focus on was his anticipation. All he could think was please work. 

Hunk interjected “Pidge, Lance can learn about the genius behind the tech later. Just skip to the demonstration.”

“Right. Sorry.” She double checked the connection between the stone and the screen and pressed a button that made the box of tech whir to life. She punched in a slew of numbers on the keyboard, cross-checking the data written on color-coded sticky-notes and with a final dramatic slam of the enter key the screen activated. One moment it was black and the next there was a flicker and Lance was staring at his mother’s face. She was clutching something in her hands like a prayer. Her mouth moved but Lance could not hear a sound. Panic rose in his chest. He barely registered Pidge’s jump beside him, but felt the round object she pressed into his hand. At the moment of contact, his mother’s words sounded in his brain.

“-jo? Mijo can you hear me?” 

Lance’s voice hitched; he couldn’t respond. His words were trapped in his throat. Lance dropped his face to collect himself and when he raised his eyes to try again, the tears escaped. He began to sob. His body shook and he listened to the calming coo of his mother’s voice. 

***

Pidge and Hunk quietly crept out of the storage closet and rested their backs against the wall outside. They listened to their friend’s raking sobs and Pidge fought the urge to go back and try to comfort him. She had to tell herself that this was him being comforted. His restoration was in the hands of his family now. 

She looked to her left and Hunk was looking back at her. He looked just as exhausted as she felt. It had been pheobs of labor, chalked with many sleepless nights. It was not uncommon for them to pass out in the middle of work, but it had all been for their friend, Lance. Granted, they too would benefit from the new long-distant communication tech they developed but the inspiration for it came from Lance. Hunk and Pidge missed their families but they could see how homesickness was having a devastating effect on their teammate. Their fatigue was a small price to pay for his happiness.

“Team Punk does it again.” Hunk said weakly as he held out a fist to his tiny teammate. Pidge gave Hunk a tired smile and softly tapped his fist with her own in victory.

*** 

Lance was finally regaining control of his body. The shakes were subsiding. He was out of breath, but at least he could breathe again. He was finally able to raise his head to meet his mother’s gaze. She had tears in her eyes, but like always, managed to keep it together. She was always strong. He loved her for it; even half a universe away, she made him feel safe. 

“Oh Lance, my baby,” She cooed and Lance’s heart melted. She touched the screen on her end and he imagined she was stroking his cheek like she did when he was little. 

“Mom,” 

“Wait Mijo. Everyone has been dying to speak to you.” Her voice shifted to her I mean business tone and yelled, “Everyone! Get your butts to the kitchen! Lance is on the line!”

Lance couldn’t hear the stampede but he saw it when the screen suddenly filled with familiar faces. Lance could see his tiny sister Veronica poking her nose up from the bottom, his brothers Marco and Louis barreled in with giant dimpled grins, his drink spiking grandmother was giving him a smile that made her eyes disappear, Marco’s wife, Jenny waved, and in the middle of them all was his mother clutching the com-stone in her hands. 

“Lance.” His mother breathed. Her tears were brimming in her eyes. The gasp that escaped Lance, was painful. His chest tightened and his fingers trembled as he reached to touch the screen, to touch their faces. The commotion that his heart ached to hear was silent. All Lance could hear was his mother reprimanding his brothers as everyone crowded around. Her tone softened when she turned her eyes back on the monitor. “We’re here.”

Lance’s voice was broken but he managed to say “Oye, que Bola?” Hey, what’s up? He was met with confused eyes that were all turned on his mom. The problem was quickly discovered and she raised the stone above her head. They all made grabs for it. Fragments of contact allowed Lance snippets of sound. It was like listening to a radio station that had been tuned into his mother’s kitchen but suffered horrible static. The voices sounded in and out without Lance being able to understand a word. 

“Espere!” Wait! His mother shouted to halt the madness. “Everyone put your hands on the stone together. That way we can all hear at the same time.” Everyone complied. 

“Dude, we’ve missed you!” Marco exclaimed. 

“Look at his outfit!” Louise commented. “Is that armor? It’s so cool!”

“Where are you?” Little Veronica piped in. 

“He looks thin. I don’t think they’re feeding him.” His Grandma chided.

“What are you talking about, Abuela? If anything, he looks muscular. Hey Beef Cake, how are all the space ladies?” Marco wiggled his eyebrows at the screen. Jenny shoved her husband’s arm.

“I’m sure Lance has become a gentleman. He doesn’t chase skirts anymore, right?” Lance flinched under her intensity, fearing her response to anything other than affirmation. He was grateful for his little brother Louis who butted in.

“Hey Lance! Do I look bigger too?” He flexed his arm. Louis wore a tank top that revealed a tanned arm that was thin, but also had a tiny bulge of a bicep. Louis was just like Lance, cursed with stubborn skinniness. The bulk that Lance managed to build in his chest, back and shoulders had taken serious dedication. His arms and legs still needed to catch up. Louis was still only twelve. He had time.

“Woah Louis! You look like you could take on the Galra all by yourself.” Louis gave a giant grin that dimpled his cheeks. 

“I don’t think so.” His mother cut in. “The war has taken more than enough from this family.”

“Lo siento, Mama.” Sorry, mom. “I wasn’t implying,” Lance was cut off by his mom.

“Commander Holt told us what he could about your mission. I can’t say I am entirely thrilled about the level of danger you are in. It’s unbelievable really.” Lance’s mom flashed him a stern look that Lance couldn’t help but cower under. “but we are proud of you; with all our hearts.” The tension melted and Lance sighed with gratitude and relief. 

“That’s right! My lil bro is a space ranger!” Marco proclaimed with pride. 

Lance chucked. “Actually, I’m a paladin of Voltron… but I guess they are kinda the same thing.”

Marco flushed. “Man, it’s impossible to keep up with all the space jargon. How about we just say Hero of the Universe?!” He chuckled and Lance’s face burned with praise and the tears were returning to his eyes. 

“Lancelot!” Veronica called out. Lance cracked a smile at his old nickname.

“Princess Veronica.” He replied fondly. 

“Sir Lancelot. Why do you cry? Knights don’t cry.” His tiny sister adopted her royal accent as she assumed her role as Princess V. The seriousness in her question made Lance’s smile grow.

“They do when they are happy, my princess.” Lance chuckled. 

“Hmmm. I don’t get it. Are you coming home soon? I miss you. I miss you reading to me. Louis isn’t very good.” She suddenly got very serious and whispered into the stone. “He doesn’t do the voices.”

“I can hear you, you know.” Louis announced. 

Lance adopted his best, knightly persona and replied, “Forgive me, my princess but this valiant knight’s mission isn’t over yet. I will return once the kingdom is safe again.”

Veronica ignored her brothers’ snickering. “Can you call and tell me about your missions before I go to sleep?”

Lance’s voice caught. “Y-yeah. Sure thing.” Veronica cleared her throat as a reminder to do the voice. He coughed and resumed. “But you know Princess, sometimes I will be away on missions while you dream. Will a recording be satisfactory?”

“Hmmm.” She fanned herself with a napkin she pulled from her dress pocket. Veronica was only seven years old, but she knew how to be dramatic. “I suppose that will do… but I’d rather you just come right now.” She dropped her royal persona along with her fan. Her tanned cheeks reddened as her emotions rose.

“I know, I know. Me too princess.” Tears slipped down Lance’s cheeks again. “I will once you are all safe again.”

“The knight needs to remember to be safe as well.” His mother cuts in. “I know what you are doing is important, but I don’t want you being reckless. If it’s between the universe and you, I want you to be save yourself.”

“Mom, you know that makes no sense.” He whispered.

“You know what I mean.” His mother tried to keep the tears from falling. She tried to remain strong for her son and the rest of her family. There was fire behind the agony in her eyes that could easily be mistaken for anger. “Lance, you are one piece of my universe.” She gestured to all the faces looking back at Lance. “This is my universe. If something happens to you…”

“And if something happens to any of you, my universe will fall apart.” Lance barked. “It’s my duty to protect the universe because it holds my family in it.” Everyone stayed silent. “You know what gets me through my missions? My teammates and the thought that I am fighting for all of you. I can promise not to be unnecessarily reckless, but that’s all I can promise. If it comes down to my life or saving the universe, don’t tell me turn tail and flee because I won’t do it. I already live in a world without you in it, so don’t make me imagine a universe with the same emptiness. I will gladly sacrifice myself if it means my family survives.” Lance breathed past his tears. They didn’t fall. This time it was Lance’s turn to be strong for his family and let his mother have a break for once. 

“Stubborn child as always.” His mom wiped the tears from her eyes. “Ever since you were a child, you said you wanted to be a piolet when you grow up.” A smile tugged at the edges of her mouth. “I’m proud of the man you have become, Lance. Be safe and come home to us.”

“I will mom.” Lance rested his fingers on the screen, willing himself to fall through to the other side and into his mother’s embrace. 

“We can talk as often as you are able. Oh, and please tell Pidge thank you for us. We had no idea what your whereabouts were. The Garrison never gave us solid information. When we didn’t hear from you we feared you might have… but we never lost hope. When Commander Holt contacted us, he said he had a message from you and that his daughter, was working on something and to expect contact from her. He set up this crazy device for us and showed us how it works. When Pidge first called it was just a test run.” The information his mother relayed was all new news to Lance. “She was working with another but I didn’t get a chance to speak with him.” His mother paused to adjust her tone. A soft worry touched her eyes. “Lance, Pidge said you have been under the weather and thought we might be able to help.”

“Ahhhh,” Lance scratched the back of his head. He had just declared himself his family’s protector and now he looked like a cry baby. “It was just a bit of homesickness. I really miss you guys. Not to mention the ocean, the sand, Abuela’s fricase de pollo (Cuban style chicken stew), and my mom’s hugs.” He gave her a wink and his mother shook her head with a smile. Suddenly his grandma shuffled out of screen. “Wait, where’s she going?”

“She’s getting ready to make fricase de pollo.” Louis remarked. He didn’t look pleased. “She is probably going to make it every day now until you come home. Please hurry!” Lance remembered Louis wasn’t a fan of potatoes and chuckles.

“I’ll be there before you know it. Save me a plate.” 

“You can have mine.” Louis made an exaggerated gagging motion. Lance thought to himself, are all my siblings so dramatic? Surly I’m not.  
“Pidge sounds like a good girl.” His mother’s comment struck Lance like a boulder. Lance knew where his mother was going with the conversation and had to steer it elsewhere.

“Y-yeah. She is. She is a huge nerd, confident, and crazy smart. She’s even saved my butt a few times. She’s definitely one of my precious teammates but that’s all.” 

His mother caught on to the obvious diversion. “Haha don’t worry Mijo. I wasn’t going to say you two should date; I just wanted to say that if the rest of your teammates are anything like her, I feel satisfied with leaving one of my babies in their care.” 

Lance flushed with embarrassment. “O-oh. I-is that so? Yeah! You having nothing to worry about. I have the best teammates in the universe.” 

***

Lance spoke with his family for several varga. He saw the lighting in his mother’s kitchen shift from afternoon yellow to evening orange. Lance had to be selective with the information he shared so he steered the conversation more towards updates with his family members. Lance listened to how his younger siblings were doing in school. Apparently, Louis loved P.E. and recess while Veronica loved reading time. There was a mutual distaste for math despite Louis being rather good at it. Veronica was going to be in a school play and had taken one of the secondary, but vital roles. She added extra emphasized to the importance of her character despite not being the main attraction. Was she annoyed over not getting the lead? Lance blushed when Marco and Jenny said they were trying to have a baby. His blush deepened when his mother reminded him that he was next. That only sparked Marco’s obnoxious comment about snatching some space booty. Thankfully, Jenny swatted her husband over the head and his immaturity was silenced. Lance’s grandma reentered the screen to inform him of the chicken was simmering and would be falling off the bone in an hour. Lance’s stomach rumbled with desire and realized he hadn’t eaten since that morning. He had had two training sessions without refueling; fatigue seemed to catch up with him all at once. 

“Mijo, you look tired. We have been chatting for hours. You must be hungry from all your training. Why don’t we let you go?” Lance trembled at the thought of disconnecting. Speaking to his family made him feel light. He was whole again. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye. “It’s ok, Mijo. We can talk again whenever you want.”

“I want to talk right now.” Lance mumbled. His mother chuckled. 

“Oh, my baby. You hold such a responsibility on your shoulders, yet you still hate leaving your momma. Remember when you used to grab my skirt when you had to go to school? You hung on so tight that no one could make you to let go.” Lance smiled at the memory. He always had been a momma’s boy. “Lance. We are all fine back home. You don’t need to worry. Just focus on your missions and coming back to us safe. We are here to talk whenever you need us.” Lance felt an overwhelming surge of love for his family. His mom was right. He wasn’t a child anymore. It was time to let go of his mom’s skirt and do his job. 

“Thanks mom, everyone. I love you all.” Lance’s fingers hovered over the disconnect button. His mother appeared to do the same; both not ready for the connection to be severed but knew it was time. He gives his mother a final smirk of confidence and pressed. Their faces flashed to a blank screen and Lance’s breath hitched in his chest. He felt all of his troubles melt away as he slouched in his chair. His exhale carried all his doubts, homesickness, and worries leaving him feeling light. His inhale carried the love and confidence from his family, as well as the resolve in his duty to his teammates and the universe. He stood anew and ready to finally bear the burden of what it means to be a paladin of Voltron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :D


	3. Thank You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance clears up a misunderstanding with Hunk and wakes Pidge to express gratitude.

Chapter 3: Thank You

Lance gave the black monitor a final glance before departing the tiny storage room. The window into his mother’s kitchen had made him lose track of time and Lance noticed a ghostly quiet within the Castle of Lions. Without the chaos of battle and universal demise, the halls offered a sense of tranquility that mimicked the peace of a graveyard. He didn’t know how many varga had passed since Pidge had retrieved him from his training to show him “her new tech.” The growls that erupted from his stomach told him it had been several and Lance headed towards the kitchen. He mused over the conversations he had shared with family. The dimpled smiles of his brothers, his sister’s royal aura, his grandmother’s fussing, and his mother’s scolding and pleads for his safe return. Lance had promised her that he would and he meant it. He would do everything in his power to return to them one day but first he had to do right by his other family. 

Lance came upon the castle’s kitchen to find the room already lit. He scanned the perimeter but saw no one. With a shrug, Lance found himself a bowl and filled it with green goo. He made his way to the long dining table and discovered the source of the light had been from his teammate, Hunk who was slumped over the table and snoring peacefully into a pile of spilled goo. Lance surmised the sleeping bear must have upset his bowl when he passed out. 

The sight of Hunk’s face, speckled in green, reminded Lance of the time he and his fellow paladins first demonstrated teamwork. It had been at that very table, where he and his fellow humans battled with the strange Altean princess and her orange mustached companion in the form of a food fight. He smiled fondly at the memory. It hadn’t been that long ago, but Lance looked back on it as if it were his childhood. In a way it was. He thought he had known what it meant to be a soldier and to fly, until he became Blue’s piolet. He had never fully understood how fragile humanity was. He had never known the true fear of eradication, or the heartache of homesickness… or the uplifting courage that came from having trust in his comrades and they him, or the responsibility that came from the faith of strangers who whole-heartedly believed and looked to him as their savior. Lance had done a lot of growing up since he first joined Voltron. While many of the challenges had been terrifying, the hunk of a man snoring blissfully into his spilled food was proof that peace still existed in pockets around the universe. Lance swore to himself that he would preserve that peace with every fiber of his being. 

Lance took a seat next to his buddy and began chowing on his bowl of goo. The first bite had awoken the beast that was his stomach and Lance found himself in need of seconds after only a few ticks. As Lance stood, the slumbering bear beside him, stirred. Lance filled his bowl and returned to see his pal was alive again.

“Lance?” Hunk asked groggily. 

“Hey big guy! Sorry; didn’t mean to wake you.” He grabbed his seat again at Hunk’s side and took in Hunk’s appearance. He tried not to laugh, but it burst from his lips. Hunk’s eyes were puffy with sleep and green goo was caked onto his bangs and the right side of his face. Without shame or hesitation, Lance whipped out his communicator and snapped a photo. Ticks passed while Hunk’s brain slowly powered on. Lance could almost hear the ding that signaled Hunk had finally registered what was happening. Hunk gingerly prodded his cheek and hair with his fingers before shock and embarrassment flooded his face. The giant man jumped out of his seat and ran to the kitchen for a towel. 

“Ahhhhh, Lance! Why didn’t you tell me?” Hunk furiously rubbed the goo from his face before retuning to his seat with a slump. He noticed the fox grin on Lance’s face as his eyes ogled over an image on his orange communicator. “You better delete that.” 

“No way Buddy. This is gold.” 

“Ah, whatever.” 

“Well that’s no fun. You are not gonna beg for me to delete it?”

“No.” He replied flatly.

“What if I show it to Pidge?” Lance asked, hoping to get a rise from him. Lance hadn’t forgotten how close the two had been when he intruded upon them working, on what he now knew was the long-distance communicator. They had even fallen asleep on the floor together. Lance was convinced they were secretly going out. He hoped Hunk would want to avoid the embarrassment of such a humiliating photo reaching his girlfriend’s eyes.

“Why would that matter? She’s seen me covered in goo before.”

Lance blanched at Hunk’s comment. “W-w-what do you mean by that?!”

“The haunted castle incident.” Hunk said flatly. “We were attacked by food goo in the kitchen.” Hunk lifted a thick eyebrow. “What did you think I meant?” 

“N-n-nothing. You should probably just be more specific when you speak is all.” Lance was grateful for Hunk’s innocence and/or grogginess that allowed his lewd accusations to pass over his head. Lance was still curious about one thing though. “I’m sorry if I was annoying these past few movements. You and Pidge were working together and I kept interrupting. It feels like forever since we have had any down time and I kept getting in the way of your alone time.” Lance scratched his head in embarrassment. “I -was just surprised because I thought you were interested in Shay… I mean, you did go to the gala together.” 

“What are you talking about Lance? I do like Shay; though with this war, I’m always away, always fighting. I don’t really see anything coming of it.” Hunk’s face became solemn. “It feels more like a fantasy.” 

“Are you saying that you are settling for Pidge?” Lance’s face hardened in disapproval.

“Huh? What do you mean, settling?” The Samoan’s thick black eyebrows knitted. “I’m not with Pidge.”

“But… when you… I saw… you two were sleeping on the floor together… Her head was on your shoulder.” 

Hunk sighed. “That is because Pidge is a slave driver.”

Lance was confused and Hunk gave an exhausted sigh. “When Pidge came to me saying she was having trouble with a project, I didn’t know the amount of work I was agreeing to. She had me busting my butt for I don’t even know how many quintents.” Hunk leaned back and folded his hands behind his head. “I honestly didn’t know someone so small, could be so scary. Do you know how many meals I missed on account of your ass?” Lance saw Hunk looking at him out of the corner of his eye.

“Me? How is it my fault?” Lance asked, perplexed. 

“Apparently, she had been working on it for phoebs, but you know how everything got all crazy with the rescuing on her dad, the new Galra empire, and the whole white lion biz, she was never able to finish it. She wanted to make sure it was finished before everything got crazy around here again. She became especially crazy after the gala and I know it was because your butt was all mopey.” Hunk pointed an accusatory finger at Lance. “Besides, Pidge made me promise not to tell you, so I knew the communicator was going to be a surprise for you… Makes it your fault.” Hunk crossed his arms in mock childishness. “I think I’ve slept on the floor so many times now, I may have forgotten what my bed feels like.”

Lance nodded to the mess of goo on the table that his friend’s face had been sleeping in. “I think you might be right.” Hunk chuckled, but Lance could that his eyes were still tired. Knowing the trouble his friend went through for his sake, filled Lance with a fondness he was unaccustomed to. 

“How’s your family, by the way?” Hunk asked.

“Oh,” Lance was taken off guard. “They’re great. My little brother and sister are so big now. My big bro is even talking about having kids of his own. Mom is tough as nails as usual, and my grandma still wants to feed everyone; you’d like her.” 

“Sounds like it was all worth it, then.” The exhaustion in Hunk’s voice carried a smile.

Lance returned the smile. “You’ll have to visit Cuba with me when all this is done.”

“Heh, likewise. My mom will cook us a welcome home feast. Seriously, her pani popo and panikeke will have you falling in love.” Hunk became alive at the thought of what awaited him back home.

“Pani what now?” Lance chuckled. 

“Oh, Pani popo is this amazing fluffy, homemade bread that’s dipped in cocounut milk and flour, and panikeke are sweet banana fritters.” Hunk kissed his fingers like the almighty chef Lance knew him to be.

“I think I know where you get your cooking skills from now.”

Hunk blushed with pride. “Yeah, Mom always said that people who cook and share their labor, share a piece of their soul; and that is the ultimate form of greatness.”

“Wow, your mom sounds like a wise woman.” Lance exclaimed. “So that’s why you cook? So you can be as great as your mom?”

Hunk’s smile twitched. “Well, my mom said that I nearly ate her out of soul.” He chuckled bashfully. “I couldn’t help it; her food is so good. I always want more. She eventually told me that if I wanted seconds or thirds, I would have to make my own… you know, to let her soul replenish.” 

Lance hadn’t expected that and burst into Laughter. 

“It’s not funny, Lance! I was horrified! I thought my stomach was going to make my mom disappear!” The seriousness in Hunk’s eyes told Lance he wasn’t lying. “I burnt my very first batch of pani popo the next day… Mom said I should have started with something a little easier… like eggs.” 

Lance chuckled at the thought of a tiny Hunk in tears trying to bake bread to save his mother’s soul. “Well, I think it was good advice in the end;” he said, wiping a tear from his eye. 

“You think? Looking back, it seems kinda cruel to lie to a child, like that.” Hunk exclaimed.

“Definitely! Besides, it’s your fault for being so gullible.”

“I was six.” 

Lance blinked. “Well… It made you into the great chef you are today. Not to mention, an even greater friend.”

“How do you figure that?”

“Well, you are always baking and sharing food with us. Food goo would get boring pretty quick if you weren’t around… and you always give one-hundred and ten percent. Seriously, we can always count on you. Not everyone would give up sleep and meals to help out a friend.” Lance nudged Hunk’s arm. “Did you tell your mom about the time you took over that restaurant at the mall?”

“I haven’t spoken with her yet, but I will.” He grinned. “She’ll probably get a kick out that.”

“Wait, you haven’t called yet? You and Pidge had to test out the communicator, right? You didn’t call home?”

“Pidge insisted that your family be the first one we contact. She said that since you were her inspiration for developing the comm, it only seemed right that you be the first. She did make a test call to your folks, but it was brief. Once we saw it finally worked, she went to find you.” Hunk saw the shock in Lance’s eyes. “Don’t sweat it; I’ll call home once I get some shut eye.”

***

They finished their food goo and Lance walked with Hunk back to their rooms. When they came to the divide Lance stopped Hunk one last time. 

“Look, I was in a pretty low place. If it weren’t for you and Pidge…”

Hunk slapped a gorilla hand on Lance’s shoulder. “You are always too hard on yourself. Pidge said she saw a bit of your training earlier and that you were are amazing. We all see it… so shut up and recognize it for yourself already.” He yawned and turned to leave for his room, then paused. “And I barely did anything. The long-distant comm was Pidge’s idea. I just helped with the finishing touches. If you need to thank anyone, it’s her.” Another yawn overtook him. With a wave, Hunk retreated to his room. 

Lance didn’t move right away. He had too many thoughts running through his head but the one that dominated them all was gratitude. Rather than go right towards his own room, his legs carried him left towards Hunk and Pidge’s sleeping quarters. There was one more person he needed to see before turning in for the night. 

When Lance arrived at his destination, his heart was thumping beneath his armor. He took a breath of confidence, then knocked. There was silence from behind the door. Not wanting to lose his nerve, Lance knocked again, this time a little louder. There was muffled movement, a groan, shuffling, a thump followed by a curse, and then the release of the doors lock. The door slid open to reveal a disheveled Pidge. Without a proper greeting, Lance locked his tiny teammate in an embrace and lifted her off her feet. He held her to his chest and softly breathed a “Thank you.” 

*** 

Pidge felt as if she had been electrocuted. Not two ticks earlier, she had been in dreamland and now she was shocked awake by Lance’s embrace. She felt him crush her body into his and suddenly had the horrifying realization that she was in her sleep-ware, which meant she was braless… She quickly glanced at her assailant and caught her breath when she saw he was still wearing his armor. Not that she had much to hide, but hopefully he wouldn’t notice. 

A soft “Thank you” tickled her ear and she felt his hug tighten. “Thank you,” Lance repeated. “You gave me my family back.” He fell into a spell of repetition. Each utterance of gratitude, thickened with emotion. The shake in his voice brought Pidge back to the present and melted her shock. She felt her toes touch the ground and she wrapped her arms around her favorite crybaby. Doboshes passed and they remained that way until Pidge felt Lance’s breathing return to normal.

“Lance?”

“Hmmm?” He sniffled.

“You can let me go now.”

Coming to his senses, Lance released her. “Ahhh, sorry about that. I thought I was done being all emotional.” He cleared his throat and wiped the shine from his cheeks. Something about the flush in Lance’s face made Pidge’s pulse quicken. She coughed to combat her unexpected hormonal spike. 

With an exaggerated deep breath, she said, “Oh thank goodness. Your BO is rank. I thought I was gonna pass out.” Pidge pinched her nose to show that she was teasing. Lance lifted an arm to smell himself and his flush deepened. He had had two training sessions before Pidge retrieved him to show him her new tech. He proceeded to speak with his family for several varga and then shared a meal with Hunk. His body had indeed become ripe. 

“It’s because you didn’t let me shower!”

Pidge laughed at Lance’s bashfulness. “You’re right; my bad.” Lance began chuckling as well. Seeing the happiness returned to his face created a fuzzy sensation in Pidge’s gut that she didn’t understand. “So, how’s the fam? Wait… were you talking to them this whole time?”

*** 

“Well, I ran into Hunk in the kitchen; we chatted for a bit, but before that, yeah.”

“Geeze.” Pidge leaned into her room and Lance registered her apparel. She was wearing little black shorts that were barely visible beneath a baggy green shirt that hung off one shoulder. She was tiny and all legs. Her disorderly hair was more unruly than usual. Bed hair? He didn’t know what time it was. Had she been asleep? 

Pidge leaned back out of her room and announced the time to be twelve doboshes past three. Lance’s mouth went slack. No wonder the castle was quiet. “Ahhh, I’m sorry Pidge. I didn’t realize…”

“It’s alright.” Pidge smiled up at him and Lance noted the bags under her eyes. He bit his lip in guilt for having woke her. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

“Huh?” 

“You said ‘thank you’ at least twenty times when you were suffocating me. So, you’re welcome.” Her head tilted to the side and was consumed by a giant yawn. “How is your family? I didn’t let you answer.” 

“Ah, they’re great! I feel like everyone is growing up so fast. My mom and grandma are still the same, so that’s comforting…” Lance fell silent to collect himself. “You know, it means the world to me, what you did.”

“Lance,”

“No, seriously. I was a wreck and you really helped me. Not just with my family, but at the gala… with everything. I don’t think I can ever make it up to you.” Lance hadn’t realized he was staring at the ground until he saw Pidge’s tiny feet approach his and felt her hand on his shoulder. He lifted his gaze and found her face surprisingly close to his. Her amber orbs sparked with sincerity when she said,  
“If you can smile more like you used to, we can call it even.”

“Heh, that seems hardly a fair trade.” 

“You’d be surprised.” 

Lance blinked twice before his eyes settled on Pidge’s mouth. She was doing it again, that crooked smile that wasn’t quite a smirk. The expression fascinated him.

“I’ll do my best.” He said softly, raising his eyes to meet hers. 

Pidge flinched and took a step back. “That’ll do.” She laughed and ruffled the nest of curls atop her head. “We should probably get some sleep. You are starting to look kinda haggard; the ladies will stop flocking to you.” She winked. 

“Who’s haggard?” He said giving Pidge an exaggerated once over. He saw her baggy eyes twitch before she rushed to punch him. He laughed and held up his arms in defense. “You want to use one of my nightly face masks?” He teased.

“Gah! You are such a diva!” She growled. “It’s your fault I’m like this, you know.”

Lance’s face fell. “Hunk said something similar.” Then his eyes lit up. “Hold on!” He placed one hand on Pidge’s forehead to keep her flailing fists at bay. He pulled out his orange communicator with the other, gave it a couple clicks and held it out for Pidge to see. 

“I don’t want to see any more pictures of you surrounded by…” Her fists of furry quelled when the picture of groggy Hunk covered in food goo came into her line of sight. Her flushed irritation turned to joy. She reached out and took the comm from Lance and cradled it in her hands, as if holding something precious. Her eyes crinkled and hysteria escaped her lips. Lance felt the contagious pull and laughed beside her. 

“We have to show this to Shay!” Pidge wheezed. Lance saw the devil horns sprout from her head and mused how he had had the same thought when he assumed Hunk and Pidge were together. “When was this? Why wasn’t I there?”

“That was about an hour ago. Turns out you’re quite the slave driver. Your tactics created that.” Lance pointed at the comm. 

“Is that what he called me?” Pidge asked, lifting an eyebrow. “What a wuss.” She smirked and Lance worried he may have unleashed Pidge’s wrath upon his poor friend. “Well, if I’m haggard and Hunk is sleeping with his food, it was a small price to pay.” She lowered the comm and passed it back to Lance; a soft smile had replaced the devilish grin from ticks before. Before Lance knew what he was doing, he had scooped Pidge in his arms again and began spinning. Pidge squeaked and Lance couldn’t stop a giant grin from taking over his face. 

He deepened the hug with each turn and rested his head on her shoulder. “You really are the greatest.”

“I know, I know. Now put me down you oaf. You stink.” Pidge’s muffled voice pleaded into his chest.

Lance’s eyes opened and realized his cheek was resting on Pidge’s bare shoulder. Startled, he disconnected himself from his tiny comrade and set her back on her feet. Lance saw that her face was beet red and had her arms crossed over her chest. His eyes flashed to the pale skin exposed by her oversized shirt hanging off her shoulder. A curiosity crept into Lance’s mind but dismissed it before it materialized into words that he would immediately regret. “S-sorry.” He flushed. “I just feel really lucky to have teammates who care so much.” 

“What are friends for?” She shrugged, keeping her arms crossed. “Now, for the love of Voltron, please go shower.” 

“Haha. Ok. Ok. G’night Pidge.” Lance smirked and held up a hand as he turned in the direction of his room. “Let me know if you change your mind about the face mask.” 

“Never.” 

Lance glanced back over his shoulder and saw his friend retreating into the darkness of her room. Subconsciously, he touched his hand to his cheek, remembering the surprisingly soft sensation. 

*** 

From the darkness of her room, Pidge looked back at Lance as he left. She saw him touch his face and her hand found its way to her shoulder. The scratch of his stubble on her skin was still vivid in her mind. She closed her door and stumbled back to her bed, careful not to stub her toe again. She really needed to organize her room. She flopped onto the mess of blankets and laid there in the darkness. Sleep immediately proved to be an impossible wish. She slapped her hands to her cheeks but the sting did nothing to calm her nerves.  
What the hell was that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	4. A Glow of a Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge can't sleep and receives help from Lance.

Chapter 4: A Glow of a Feeling

Lance had his first restful night in months. As he made his way to the kitchen, he recognized a lightness in his step. He had barely been able to manage his footing beneath the pack of heartache, homesickness, and galactical responsibilities that had been weighing his shoulders down. Quite a lot had changed in one night. He still carried the pack, but now the weight was more than just bearable, it was comfortable. Hearing his family’s voices had reminded Lance of why he was fighting in a war, galaxy away from home. In order to ensure that such horrors never touch Earth’s surface, he could endure. He had been completely wrapped up in his own self-pity that he had lost track of his purpose, but no more. He was sure of his role now. 

His mind wandered as he strolled through the Castle’s halls on autopilot. It wasn’t just reconnecting with his family through a screen that had triggered his resolve. His teammates were there for him when he was most desperate. His friends had put his grief before their own. Hunk and Pidge were the ones who developed the tech that made untraceable contact to Earth possible. They could have used it for themselves first… but they didn’t. What did he do to deserve them? He didn’t deserve them… but now he would make sure he’d be there for them. 

Lance ate a hearty breakfast of green goo and brainstormed how he would make use of the new day and his new mentality. Not being overly creative, he decided on another day of training. He had been close to a breakthrough in switching between modes with his beyard the day before. He would revisit it and practice until his technique was flawless… or he collapsed. 

While headed for his room to change into his armor, Lance saw Allura walking down the hall to intercept him. His eyes caught on the sway of her hips with each brisk step. Her face remained beautiful despite the trouble that furrowed her brow. When her eyes lifted, she appeared relieved to see him. Lance would be lying if he said his heart didn’t flutter at the realization. 

“Lance! There you are.” The princess breathed, slightly out of breath. The boy’s heart pounded. 

“Allura.” He didn’t have an idea of why she would seek him out. 

“I need your help.” She said once she stood before him.

“Anything for you Princess.” Lance purred with a sweeping bow. Allura ignored the grandiose gesture and continued.

“I can’t seem to find Shiro, and Hunk is using that new device to call home. I need you to talk to Pidge.” The princess flushed as if about to pout. “She won’t listen to me.”

Lance hadn’t expected that.

***

Pidge tinkered with scraps of metal variants at her work table. Her laptop had become severely scuffed from overuse and the tiny genius thought it wise to outfit it with its own armor. It was too valuable of a machine to leave unprotected. 

She hadn’t been able to sleep… not since that knock on her door at three in the morning. She had been ecstatic and relieved to finally be finished with the communicator project. It had only taken her head colliding with her pillow for her to pass out; but then there was that knock… those puffy eyes and fresh tears, uncountable “thank you’s,” and being literally swept off her feet… twice. Her brain had been kick-started and stubbornly wouldn’t turn off. The whirring of her mind was moving at light speed as it attempted to pair logistics with emotions. Why had she been so adamant about creating the communicator? It wasn’t as if she and Hunk wouldn’t benefit from it. So why did it feel like she built it for Lance? Her mind raced over every interaction they ever had, searching for a justification. 

The seed of their universes colliding had been planted when they were forced into a partnership at the Garrison. She had been posing as a boy in order to infiltrate the Garrison’s systems; finding her brother and father had been her sole focus. Lance’s hormonal escapades and Hunk’s overactive gastro reflux were merely distractions to her greater cause. She wrote off every invitation for pizza and night excursion with her two teammates in the hopes that solitude and radio chatter would lead her to some clue. She had found it unfortunate in the moment, but fortunately, Lance was the right amount of stubborn. Her rejections hadn’t stopped him from dragging Hunk along to follow her onto the roof on that fateful night. 

It was Lance’s words that incurred the first pangs of guilt when he accused her of keeping secrets; that her one-man (woman) mind-set was hindering their team’s strength. When had the team meant anything more to her than an in to getting information? Pidge finally began to consider that she was more than just herself. She could in fact be a piece to a greater whole. 

The universe proved to have an ironic sense of humor when it set off the chain of events, beginning with Shiro’s pod crashing down to Earth. Blinded with the need for answers and the drive to find her family, she, Lance and Hunk took off towards their destiny. She had no way of knowing the dangers that awaited them. In the beginning, she had planned on abandoning her new team, Team Voltron. Call her selfish, but that was where her priorities lay. The universe, however had had other plans for her. It was the night of her intended farewell that Pidge truly saw Lance for the first time. 

As Pidge fiddled with a screwdriver, not accomplishing anything in particular, she recalled the celebration with the Arusians. Despite her personal objective, she had wanted to say goodbye. She owed everyone that much. She remembered the forlorn hunch in Lance’s shoulders as he left the Great Hall. She had chased after him but was intercepted by Allura. If not for the interference, she would have discovered how homesick Lance was, even then. Looking back, if she had stopped him, he never would have had to save Coran, or nearly been killed by the explosion that destroyed the Castle’s power crystal… but then she may never have had her awakening. She was no longer able to be selfish when Lance, despite having a family four times the size of hers, selflessly threw himself into harm’s way for another. Despite her incredible intellect, Pidge had been a fool. It had taken the courage of a flirtatious goofball for her to see that. 

That explained her respect for Lance, but she was still no closer to figuring out why her stomach was in knots, or why she still felt the ghost of his chin on her shoulder as he held her to him. A faint thought began to glow in the back of her mind. Her screwdriver slipped clumsily from her fingers and a warmth filled her cheeks. 

“Hello there, Pidge.” Allura’s cheery voice broke into her thoughts and the glow winked out.

Pidge cleared her throat and thwarted her tool’s escape over the table’s edge. “Oh, hi Allura.” Pidge began to feel her exhaustion. She could barely keep her eyes open beyond a squint. That, or Allura’s radiance was too much to handle in that moment. Her brain had already reached its limits, hours ago. She was poking a scrap of metal with a screw driver that had NO screws in it… her mind was mush. Allura was like a glowing sponge of energy. Her enthusiasm sapped the brainpower and lifeforce from the puddle of a human that Pidge had become. Pidge yawned and tears pricked at her bloodshot eyes. 

“I was wondering who was working in here. I thought you already finished the communicator.” 

“We did.” She yawned again. “Can’t sleep. Tinkering helps me relax.” Pidge didn’t bother trying to hide the exhaustion in her voice. To do so would be too much work. 

“You know, nothing replaces the rejuvenating power of actual sleep. I can arrange a cryo-pod if you need it.” Allura’s intended joke fell flat on the exhausted human’s ears. 

Pidge motioned to her computer and its half-molded armored casing. “This, suits me just fine.” With that Pidge turned from the princess and began tinkering again. Her eyes hurt less when she wasn’t looking at the bubbly princess. Allura’s snowy hair bristled like a shunned cat but kept her voice level. 

“When’s the last time you slept?” Allura asked with a tint of concern.

Pidge hesitated. She wasn’t sure herself. “Maybe… six hours,” Allura sighed, but too soon. “in the last three days.” The Altean blanched.   
“What?! Why are you even up right now?” 

Pidge shrugged without taking her eyes off her hands. “Couldn’t sleep.” Allura bristled again.

“That’s no excuse. Go to bed this instant.” Pidge prickled at the royal tone she knew the princess reserved for missions and commanding allies. Did she ever use that tone with Lotor? Pidge allowed herself a tiny smirk at the thought of a submissive Galra emperor. 

“I already tried, Princess.” She spiced the Altean’s title with irritation. “It’s a lost cause.”

“Well, what’s got your mind all befuddled?” Pidge cringed under Allura’s sparkling desire for gossip. As if Pidge could talk to the princess about THIS. No way. Allura leaned in closer and her cheery aura engulfed Pidge in a suffocating need to run away. 

“It’s n-nothing. I just feel kinda nauseous.”

“Are you worried about something… or someone?” Pidge flinched. “You can tell me anything. We are both girls, after all.”

Pidge gave her a side glance. “The last time you told me that, I admitted to quitting the team. Are you sure you want to have another girl talk?”

Allura stepped back. “Wa- wait! You’re not actually consider-“

“No, don’t worry. I was just,” She sighed. “Nothing. It was a joke.”

“Well it was in very bad taste.” Allura deflated. “Look, I’m worried about you. You look terrible and the team needs its tech operator if we are to function at full power. When Lance needed help;” Pidge’s throat tightened at the name, “I am glad you took the initiative to find a solution. That’s why I didn’t say anything when you and Hunk worked day and night to create the communicator. Now that that is over with, I need you to get back on a healthy sleep pattern. What would you do if we had an emergency right this moment? You are not battle ready. If anything, you would be more of a hindrance.” 

Pidge flinched. She knew the princess was correct, but she still pouted. And whose fault was it that Lance was so down? Pidge bit back the thought. She was surprised by her sudden protective reflex. Wasn’t she Lance’s prime teaser when he was moping over the princess? So why…? Her mind became filled with static as she pressed it for answers. 

“-idge. Pidge. Are you listening to me?” 

Pidge snapped back to attention. “Hm?”

Allura huffed with her own turn of irritation. “My point exactly. You are clearly not in the right head space. Go get some rest.”

“I already told you, Princess,” she motioned to the mess of metal scraps and tools scattered across her work bench. “I’m good, right here.”

Allura looked about ready to argue some more, but saw that her fellow paladin was beyond reason. She left and took her glowing radiance with her, leaving Pidge feeling drained and stale. The silence she had desired began to pulse in her head and the image of somber eyes gazing after amber skin and clouds of hair caught in her mind. Pidge tightened her grip on her screwdriver. Those moping eyes turned up to her but didn’t see her. They weren’t for her… but his tears were. That embrace and his million “thank you’s” had been for her. That would be enough. She didn’t need anything more than that… right?

***

Lance rounded another corner and heard a metal tapping before he saw the door. He entered Hunk and Pidge’s workshop and found his fellow paladin seated at her desk. Her hair was a mess, or rather, messier than usual. She wore the same oversized green shirt and tiny black shorts he saw her wearing earlier. It appeared Allura’s hypothesis was correct; Pidge had indeed pulled another all-nighter. Still, how bad could she be? Allura hadn’t given any details. She just said that Pidge was acting a little crazy and needed someone to make her go to sleep. 

Pidge didn’t seem crazy, in fact she looked rather peaceful with her back to him, hunched over her desk and …

“Dammit!” Pidge hurled something at the wall. The heavy clang made Lance jump. So, maybe she was just a little crazy. Pidge slumped with a groan and pulled at her hair. “Ugggh! What’s wrong with me?” 

“Well, for one thing, it is bad etiquette to throw one’s tools at the wall.” Pidge violently startled and would have toppled out of her chair if Lance hadn’t sprinted to steady her. “Jeez are you alright?” Lance asked once his heart calmed and could breathe again.

“Oh, Lance,” she breathed. “It’s you.”

“Yup it’s me. Were you expecting someone else?”

“Wh- no. I just. Allura was,”

“Allura is the one who sent me.” Lance saw Pidge’s eyes darken. So, something HAD happened. 

“Is that so?” Pidge’s said flatly. 

Lance steadied his tiny teammate on her seat. “She is worried about you, and judging from what I can see, she isn’t wrong to be.” Lance put a hand on Pidge’s shoulder, but she merely frowned. “Come on, Pidge. Talk to me. You seemed fine a few hours ago. What happened?”   
Pidge bit her lip but didn’t meet his gaze. “I can’t… tell you.” Lance’s heart dimmed. Did she not trust him enough to share her burden with him? Would she have told Hunk? “I don’t even know if anything is even wrong, I just… my head.” Lance watched her pull on her hair in what looked like an attempt to override a headache with more pain. It gave Lance an idea. He withdrew his hand, stepped back, and offered it again in a knightly fashion. Pidge’s eyes widened with confusion at his gesture. 

“If my lady would but follow me.” Lance flashed her his most gallant grin, usually reserved for his performances with his little sister, Veronica. Pidge merely smirked and folded her arms across her chest. 

“Since when am I a lady?”

Good question. “You’ve always been a lady, it’s just today I get to treat you like one.” His words seemed to shock his tiny friend. Flattery, clearly was not going to cut it. He groaned as he reached for her arm. She flinched at his touch. “Just come with me. Princesses orders.” Lance pulled Pidge to her feet and dragged her out of the workshop. He kept hold of her forearm as he lead her through the familiar maze of halls back to the green paladin’s room. He let himself in before she could protest. He balked at the mess, but only for a moment. He regained his knightly composure and steered her to her bed, stepping over dirty socks and various electronics. The girl even had a computer of sorts on her bed. She literally lived and slept technology. He wouldn’t be surprised if she was in fact, part robot. 

Lance put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her to sit on her bed. He ignored her protests and inquiries as he looked for a way to position himself. He eyed the computer that sat in his desired place and began to pry it from the mattress. 

“Be careful! If you break it…” She appeared flustered.

“I’ll be gentle. Where do you want it?” Pidge looked around and pointed at an empty space on the floor. With her bed free, Lance hopped on and sat behind her. He saw her shoulders tense. “Don’t worry. I used to do this for my mom and grandma all the time. My hands are magic.”   
“That doesn’t make me feel better.” Pidge cringed. “Besides, I thought you were supposed to be a knight, not some voodoo magician.” There was a quiver in Pidge’s voice but it still held a tone of mockery. Same ol’ Pidge. 

“Perhaps I’m a wizard in disguise.” He grinned and before Pidge could respond, Lance pressed his thumbs into the base of her neck.   
“W-w-what are you doing?!” Pidge squealed as her body stiffened and pulled away from him. She stumbled to her feet and Lance braced for a slap, but it never came. Slowly, he opened his eyes and looked up to see what looked like an embarrassed Pidge. She had one arm wrapped around her midline and the other hand covering her neck as if protecting it from the plague. He had never seen Pidge in such a state. His plan was not going well at all. 

“My mom and grandma get a lot of headaches.” He spoke as if he was speaking to a frightened animal. He watched as Pidge’s protective stance softened. “They get especially bad after a long week of work. I learned that massages can increase blood circulation and help ease the mind.” 

“I-is that so?” Pidge asked. “You could have told me first.”

He was a moron. “Yeah, sorry about that. Here,” He motioned to the space in front of him. “Try again?” He saw Pidge hesitate and was worried she was going to accuse him of something perverse, but she obeyed. With her back to him, Lance couldn’t see her face, but she finally looked more calm. 

To correct his impulsive behavior from before, Lance decided to give Pidge a play by play of what he was going to do. “I like to start with the shoulders and upper back, like this. You know, to help warm up the muscles. It’s just like with working out; you can actually cause someone injury if you are too aggressive on cold muscles.”

“You sound like you know from experience.” Pidge meant it as a question.

Lance reddened with embarrassment. “Ahh, I may have given my ma a stiff neck for a week the first time I tired.”

Lance felt Pidge pull away again, but only slightly. “You broke you mother’s neck?!” 

“God no! She just pulled a muscle in her neck. I felt so horrible, I almost gave up. My grandma is the one who convinced me to try again and showed me proper technique.” He felt Pidge relax back into his hands. His fingers moved as if he already knew where the devilish knots were hidden. As he kneaded the muscles in her upper back, he let his hand slip underneath a thick black strap to get at the flesh on her shoulders. Lance and Pidge flinched together. He had done it unconsciously. He hadn’t realized the implications of putting his hand underneath Pidge’s sporty bra. A bra he realized she wasn’t wearing last night when he hugged her. That explained a lot of her body language and why she kept her arms crossed. His face flushed and replaced his hand above the strap before continuing. 

“Once the shoulders are loosened up, you can move up to the neck, like so.” Lance felt tiny goose bumps beneath his fingers as he gently rubbed into the delicate muscles on the sides of her throat. She swallowed and Lance traced his thumbs to the base of her skull. He repeated the motion over and over until he felt the tension dissipate. “People often forget that we hold a lot of stress in our heads, not just in our shoulders and back.” He released her throat and placed his hands to her skull as if he were trying to read her mind. His fingers became lost in the jungle of auburn curls while he applied comfortable pressure. Pidge’s head lulled to the side with a satisfying groan, but he wasn’t done. His palms pressed and his fingers prodded until his tiny friend’s breathing deepened. He was almost done. Lance began working his thumbs into her temples and across her forehead. He could see her now as her body relaxed into his chest. Her eyes were closed and the faintest smile played on her lips. She looked peaceful and calm… quite unlike her usual rambunctious tech wizard persona. She looked like a normal girl, free from the stress that comes from saving the universe every day. A faint glow of a thought told him that he wanted to make it so she always looked as peaceful as she did then. Was that too egotistical of him to think he was capable of such? Even so, he wanted to preserve the moment. 

“I think I might love you.” Pidge mumbled. Lance’s fingers froze. Pidge was asleep in his arms and he didn’t trust his ears. She was out cold. There was no way she had said anything. Lance tried to ease out of his position but Pidge began to fall to the side. He gently caught her. The magic had worked; she was finally asleep. He wasn’t about to let his clumsiness break the spell. He lifted her into his arms and she seemed to curl into him. Stepping down from her bed, he was able to lay his tiny companion onto her pillow. She barely registered the disturbance and Lance covered her with a blanket. He stepped back into the doorway, half falling over scattered debris, before admiring his handiwork.

Pidge rolled towards him and snuggled into her pillow, breathing deeply. He hadn’t lost his touch. His grandma would be proud. Heck, he even made the team’s tech wizard fall for him. He would have to tease her about that later. He doubted she would believe she ever said such words to him. It was just a figure of speech; the massage was doing the talking for her. There’s no way PIDGE would actually fall for HIM… but would it be so bad if she did? He shook his head and scratched the back of his head. As if she would ever take the “team’s goofball” seriously enough to ever put love in the same sentence as his name. Why was he arguing about this with himself? When had he ever considered an affection stronger than comradery towards Pidge? She was one of his closest friends, but not an object of his love. She wasn’t Allura… she wasn’t Jenny. 

Lance looked upon the sleeping girl one last time. Her features were illuminated by the soft glow of fairy lights she had strung across her ceiling. Her peaceful face still held a smile and his chest tightened. How unintentionally cruel. He thought of the embrace they shared the night before and those cursed words she mumbled moments only before. I think I might love you. He wished he hadn’t heard them. If he hadn’t, maybe he wouldn’t feel so… he didn’t really know what he was feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmmm. I wonder what happened between Lance and Jenny (his now sister n' law).  
> Praise Grandma for giving Lance the gift of massage.


	5. Objection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something is amiss with Shiro and Hunk gives advice?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Voltron time reference:
> 
> Movement - week  
> tick - roughly a second

Pidge awoke to a dim room and more leg space then she knew to be right. Her heart flipped in panic before remembering Lance had placed her computer on the floor. 

That’s right. Lance was here last night… or morning. Her sense of time was in a flux. Flashes of memory struck her. Her head had been in a haze but she recalled hands, his hands. Pidge flushed at the reminder of those hands working her shoulders and his fingers getting lost in her hair. She relived the shivers that had travelled up her spine as his touch roamed across her back. What should have been a relatively safe zone, sent her heart fluttering the moment his hand had briefly slipped beneath her bra strap. It must have surprised him as well, because he had froze. She wondered what had been going through his head. Had he been anxious the same way she was? 

His touch had been incredibly gentle while he massaged the ache from her neck, but she had lost herself the moment he began adding pressure to her scalp. With each press of the hand, he pushed her further into a state of relaxation. She had felt incredibly safe in his arms and despite her nerves from earlier, she let her mind drift. She had been able to piece together her scattered thoughts. The static had cleared and she found her answer. In the midst of her peace of mind, a thought became illuminated. It should have turned her into a sputtering wreck, but the thought came to her and calmed her. The last thing she remembered before her consciousness slipped was thinking that she might actually love Lance… the team’s sharpshooter, aka Loverboy Lance, aka the goofball. Heart thumping, Pidge put her own hand through her hair and found it snagged in a volume of tangles. 

Great,” she groaned. 

Pidge’s stomach was awake as well. It roared and she became acutely aware of its hollowness. “Alright, alright. I’ll feed you.” The frazzled Paladin dragged herself from bed and grabbed the brush from the top of her dresser. She attempted to drag the bristles through the tangled mess atop her head, but her scalp protested. She groaned again and attacked the knots with vigor. The calming spell Lance had cast upon her earlier had long since worn off. There was nothing keeping her from freaking out at her thoughts now. Brush, brush, snag. Brush, brush, snag. Snag. Snag… 

There were many days where she wished she was like one of her beloved machines. No hair to brush; no stomach to feed. She could simply plug herself in and BAM, recharged. Taking the time to eat sometimes felt like a nagging chore. She always seemed to forget about it when absorbed in a project. She swore that if it weren’t for Hunk while creating the latest communicator, she probably would have passed out from a lack of energy. Terrible habit, she knew… but then again, Pidge dropped her brush in defeat, that was nothing new. 

***

Hunk knew he was registering on several enemy sensors; he could tell by the way his body tingled. He hated being the center of attention and drawing the interest of enemy forces was no exception. He couldn’t be nimble on his feet while lugging his beyard cannon. Lance was half his size and twice as fast, so why was he having to act as bait? 

Hunk’s com pricked in his ear. “Easy Buddy.” It was Lance. “You have four droids at your ten o’clock and another three at your two.” Hunk felt his knees begin to wobble as perspiration slipped down the side of his face. He was exhausted and the hunger clawing at his insides was making him irritable. Hunk groaned as his eyes scanned over the rectangular pillars and empty halls. All was quiet, except for his stomach that threated a growling complaint, but according to Lance, that was all about to change. Hunk released a sigh that closely resembled a whine and rested his cannon against his leg to adjust its sensors. “Hunk. What are you doing? They are practically on top of you.” 

“I know. I know. I just need to make an adjustment.” 

“There’s no time!” 

“I don’t want to fire blindly.” 

“You don’t need your sensors to blow up what’s right in front of you.”

“Dammit Lance, just let me –“ The clinking of droid steps made Hunk’s blood turn to ice. His fingers fumbled and suddenly his enemy stood before him. The Galra droids raised their rifles. 

“Target acquired.” They declared as a robotic choir. 

“WAhhhhh!” Hunk let loose a spray of shots from his newly converted saw gun and felled the four droids in a heap of decimated limbs.

“Don’t rest just yet; the other three are right around the corner.” Lance warned in his ear. Hunk gulped and rested his gun against his hip at the ready. The clinking of enemy steps rang in Hunk’s ear until they abruptly ceased. Hunk released a panicked breath before he saw a small canister roll up to his toes. “Hunk!” 

Rather than explode, the canister emitted a spray of black smoke. The hall quickly filled, blinding Hunk and his lookout. The paladin’s helmet protected his lungs from the fumes, but without his sight, Hunk began to panic. The familiar clink of metallic steps caught in his ear and Hunk began his retreat. The yellow paladin kept his eyes forward and cautiously inched backwards. He kept his breaths shallow, afraid the noise would give away his location. Dim lights of red came into view, and Hunk became acutely aware of the luminescent blue from his own armor. If he could see them, they could see him. Bolts of red lasers zinged past his head in agreement with his theory. I hate being right! Hunk huffed, hoisted his saw gun in line with the approaching enemy and unloaded until every red light was snuffed.

Hunk let the nose of his gun drop to the ground as he caught his breath, when a burst of laser fire flew in from his right. Hunk whirled his gun horizontal once more with fatigued determination. There’s more? That should have been the last of them. No sooner had the thought entered his mind did Hunk see slashes of red and flashes of golden sparks. 

“Don’t shoot! It’s me.” Hunk let out a breath at the sound of Lance’s voice over his radio, but didn’t lower his weapon. He watched through the hazy smoke as his fellow paladin dismantled the metallic enemy with swift thrusts and slashes. Shots fired in retaliation, but missed their target and then all was silent again. Hunk stayed poised to shoot until he saw the blue luminescence coming from Lance’s approaching figure. 

“Is that the last of them?” Hunk asked, wary of the answer.

“Looks like it, Buddy.” The smoke began to dissipate and Hunk could see that Lance wore a sideways grin as he hoisted his Altean broadsword to his shoulder. Smug Bastard, Hunk thought to himself with smile before he allowed his shoulders to sag in relief, but all too soon. More shots zipped past their noses as five more Galra soldiers closed in from each corner of escape, while a dozen lights from drones danced in the smoke above their heads. 

“You raised the difficulty level, AGAIN!” Hunk barked accusingly. 

“Oh, come on Hunk; how are we supposed to improve, if we don’t push ourselves?” Lance ignited his shield and lunged to cover his partner’s six. Shots dulled against the blue force field and Lance held his sword at the ready. 

“You said ‘one more training exercise, then we eat.’ You didn’t say ‘one more training exercise on level Certain Death!’” 

“Oh, stop being so dramatic. I got your back.” 

“I really don’t like you right now.” Hunk growled. 

Lance smirked. “I’ll make it up to you. Next bowl of goo is on me.” 

***

Pidge spooned green goo into her mouth from the hefty serving at her seat at the dining table. What she would give for a bit of variety in the offered cuisine. Unfortunately, the pudding-like delicacy was travel convenient and the Castle of Lions wasn’t due to dock anywhere for another movement. It wasn’t that she disliked the goo or every alien dish she came across, she just desperately missed a few treats found only on her own beautiful green and blue planet. The paladin salivated at the thought of peanut butter cookies. She didn’t know when she would taste anything so magical again.

“Looks like you are up and about again.” Shiro entered the dining room. He was dressed in his black paladin armor. Judging by his unkempt hair and the unwashed shine upon his brow, he appeared fresh from a mission. 

“Hey Shiro!” Pidge announced with a refreshed grin. “Where have you been? It feels like I haven’t seen you all movement.” Shiro’s mouth rested in a flat line. 

“I’ve been scouting out enemy spy installations. We may be at peace with Lotor, but the disloyal factions and that witch, Haggar are still a problem.”

“Ahhh.” Pidge’s enthusiasm lost steam against Shiro’s rigid seriousness. “Did you find anything?”

“You would know if you were at my briefing.” 

It was unlike Shiro to be curt with her. “Ahhh. I’m sorry. I -” 

“I understand the team’s morale has had a boost while I’ve been away.” For some reason Shiro sounded displeased. 

“Has it?” Pidge flinched under Shiro’s intensity. “Uh, yes, I suppose it has.”

“You didn’t think it necessary to run your new project by me before implementing it?” But, you did know about it, Pidge thought. 

“Uh, I didn’t think-“  
“We have to be careful not to let any messages be intercepted by our enemies. What if,”

“I know that, Shiro.” A fire lit in Shiro’s eyes and Pidge gulped at her sin of interruption. 

“Then you must know that if enemies discover who we are in contact with, it could put the responders in danger.” Shiro crossed his arms. “That includes everyone’s families back on Earth… that means Earth in its entirety.”

“Y-yes. That’s why I devised a communicator that can’t be tracked. It’s telepathic, in a sense.”

“Is that so? How have you verified this knowledge?”

“The residents from planet Treika assured me that is how the main component operates.” Shiro looked unsatisfied. “I have tested the stones myself. Thoughts can only transpire between pairs and only when both correspondents have physical contact with the stones. A mental link is created that is unhackable… untraceable.” 

“Hmmm. Planet Treika aligned themselves with us only recently, correct?”

“That’s correct, Sir.” Pidge switched into official report mode. “Six phoebs ago, Hunk and I eliminated the Galra occupiers. The Treikans joined our cause immediately upon their liberation.”

“I see. I would still like to go to Treika and inspect these unique stones for myself. Until then, no one is to use the communicator until I have cleared it as safe to use.”

“But Shiro,”

“What’s the issue, Pidge?”

There was too much to process at once. When had Shiro ever doubted her intuition or tech? Hadn’t she proved herself enough? Why didn’t he trust her now? What had him so incredibly paranoid? “I,” She cleared her throat. “You said it yourself; ‘there’s been a boost in morale.’ Couldn’t we continue speaking to our families… If you find any flaws or risks to the security, I will personally destroy it.”

Shiro’s face darkened in a way that was alien to Pidge. It was like she triggered a devil awakening in his eyes. Pidge couldn’t help but cower against it. “Why do you insist? I said there is a potential risk to security as it is right NOW. That’s final.”

Pidge didn’t understand how things escalated so quick. “But,”

“Do you believe Lance will revert back to his depressive state without being able to speak with his mommy?” Pidge flinched. That wasn’t it. “We paladins have been charged with protecting the universe. If a bout of homesickness is enough to cripple one of us, then it sounds like Lance has becoming unreliable.” What?! “Such selfishness is only going to destroy our teamwork and everything Voltron stands for. Do I need to begin searching for a replacement for him?” Pidge’s heart stopped. Of course not! “His incompetence appears to also be contagious. My tech supporter has become distracted and a hinderance as well. Why am I hearing that you haven’t been sleeping? Do I need to replace you too?” How was this happening? Pidge was beginning to panic. She jumped to her feet, upsetting her chair.

“No, Sir. Lance is an incredibly valuable member of Team Voltron. He is irreplaceable. He has nothing to do with my current faults. I apologize for questioning your leadership. I will correct my errors so I can perform perfectly. I swear it.” Pidge strained to contain her trembling. 

Shiro finally seemed satisfied and the fire vanished as if it was never there. “What’s this? Pidge, there’s no need to be so formal.” Shiro’s voice dripped with parental soothing that Pidge was hesitant to trust. “I just wanted to say that Lance is more dependable than you give him credit. There’s no need to coddle him. He will survive a few movements without the communicator; he has up to this point. And I don’t want you to think I doubt your skills. I know you always triple check everything. I am only wary because our enemy is no longer clear. This is merely a temporary precaution until we learn the extent of their spyware.” 

Pidge stood dumbfounded. “Ah, right.” She finally managed to whisper. “My mistake.” Shiro smiled and ruffled the tiny paladin’s hair. 

“Don’t forget to sleep. Voltron is only as strong as its weakest limb; so, don’t let it be you.” 

Pidge was numb as her eyes followed Shiro out the dining room. The moment the door closed, the strength left her legs. Pidge had to grab the table to support herself. What was that? There had been a final glint in Shiro’s eyes before he left. Pidge slowly let herself fall the rest of the way to the floor and leaned into the upturned chair. Her pulse still raced and she shielded her eyes with a hand. Maybe she needed to go back to sleep. Clearly her head wasn’t fully cleared. She must have misinterpreted Shiro’s allegations. Shiro was their leader, their second father. He had absolute faith in all of them, and they him. There was no way he would ever consider replacing ANY of them…

Pidge bit her lip and hugged a knee to her chest. While Shiro’s words seemed harsh in the moment, they weren’t without merit. She was becoming too emotional. Lance’s face of gratitude slipped into her mind for the millionth time since that stupid knock on her door. She had flashes of hands and of his idiotic smile. Shiro was right. She was becoming distracted and needed to focus back on her mission. She didn’t have time to be wiping away her teammate’s tears. She didn’t have time to deal with static in her brain, and erratic butterflies in her stomach. She was Voltron’s tech support. It was time to get back to her machines. 

***

Hunk and Lance made their way to the kitchen, having finished their training. 

“It’s pretty awesome that Lotor gave us a bunch of his robotic soldiers to help us train.” Lance exclaimed. “I feel my reflexes against their movements getting faster.” Lance flexed his arm.

“Gahhhh, I don’t care about training anymore. I’m starving Man! You are just as bad as Pidge. Why does everyone insist on working through training and projects without eating?” Hunk whined. “Skipping meals does not MAKE a person tough.”

“Sorry Hunk.” Lance chuckled as beads of sweat dripped down the side of his face. They had narrowly cleared the final exercise and the exertion had been intense. “We were on a roll; I couldn’t help it.” 

“Well I’m on strike.” Hunk crossed his arms. “I’m not helping either of you anymore… At least not until you guys learn how to pack a lunch.”

Lance raised a brow. “What, like have a picnic in the middle of training?” 

“Yes! That’s exactly what I mean.” 

“Oh geez. I can see it now.” Lance thrust his beyard into hunk’s arms and dawned his best royal guard/servant impersonation. “Hold my beyard! I must prepare the tea! Oh no! The sandwiches have gone soggy!” Lance held an imaginary sandwich and slumped to his knees as if struck with despair. “Lunch is ruined!”

“I am not amused.” Hunk bonked Lance on the head and pushed the red beyard back into the blue paladin’s hands.

“Ow! Hey, you made me drop my invisible sandwich. Now I’m gonna starve and It’ll be all your fault.”

“Don’t underestimate the power of Lunch.” Hunk stated in complete seriousness. “You’ll wish you… Whoa!”

The yellow paladin jumped as he nearly collided with his tiny comrade as she rounded the corner. “Hey Pidge! You’re awake.” Hunk announced cheerily. He quickly observed Pidge’s comedic nest of bed hair and the glaze in her eyes. Something had her distracted… at least until Lance picked himself up from the ground and came to his side. Hunk saw a light return to her eyes, 

“H-hey. Yeah, what’s up?” Pidge was fidgeting and took a sudden interest in the floor. Lance was strangely quiet all of a sudden, so Hunk picked up his pal’s slack.

“We just finished at the training deck. We’re about to grab dinner. Have you eaten?”

“Uh, yes. I just ate. Actually, I have something to work on, so I’ll be in my room if you need me.”

“Well, I’m famished. See ya around.’” Hunk gave Pidge a tiny salute and turned the corner.

“Right!” Pidge affirmed. Hunk didn’t hear Lance following and realized the blue paladin had hung back. Hunk took a few steps before parking himself against the wall. Lance promised to serve him as retribution for the abuse sustained during their training and he intended to make Lance keep his word. Hunk wasn’t sure if the conversation was meant to include his ears, but he heard it, none the less. 

“Ummm, hey Lance” Pidge began.

“H-hey, Pidge.” Lance paused. “Feeling better?” There was a softness in Lance’s voice that Hunk was unacquainted with. 

“Oh, much better. My head doesn’t hurt anymore.” Silence. Hunk squirmed at the awkwardness between them. He couldn’t fathom the cause of it. “I uh, wanted to thank you.” Pidge continued. 

“Ok.” Lance replied. More silence. Hunk cringed. “You said you wanted to thank me.” Lance teased. “I’m waiting.” Hunk could hear the cheeky grin without having to see Lance’s face, but at least he sounded normal.

“Ack,” Pidge’s voice caught in her throat. “I suppose you got me.” She sighed. “Thank you, Lance.”

“You’re very welcome. Anytime… uh well, you know what I mean.” And the air was clumsy again. What the hell was with the two of them all of a sudden? And ‘Thank you’ for what? 

***

“What I would give for some garlic knots!” Lance whined as he let his spoonful of Altean goop splat back into his bowl. 

“I don’t know what you are complaining about.” Hunk interceded. “Just add a dash of this, two shakes of this, and a sprinkling of this and it basically tastes like chicken.” Hunk shoved the colorful spices towards his fellow paladin with a proud grin. Lance did not look amused. 

“Chicken is not meant to be slurped like pudding.” Lance groaned in disgust. 

“You are missing the point. It’s about expanding your pallet and experimenting a little. Eventually you will find something that appeals to you.”

“I’m no gourmet, and nowhere near creative enough for that.”

“Then just trust me when I say you should try this.” Hunk held out a spoon of Hunk altered goo as if to feed him. Lance eyed the orange sticks of spice and the black and purple flakes that peppered the green substance. Lance had tried many alien dishes since his passport became intergalactic, but that didn’t stop him from being squeamish pre-first-bite. Lance looked up from the possible food abomination and was met with his friend’s intense gaze. He wasn’t getting out of this one. With a groan, Lance snatched the spoon from Hunk’s offered hand and plunged its contents into his mouth. His senses were immediately attacked by the obscure taste and clashing texture. Lance felt prickles crawl up his spine and shivered. It was as if his taste buds were assaulted by a sour eggplant, dry habanero toast, and slimy clams all at once. 

Hunk cracked and burst into laughter. Lance eyed him with disbelief as he tried not to choke. Had he just been pranked? Lance looked around desperately for a place to spit out the atrocity that was plaguing his mouth. He spotted Hunk’s bowl and did just that. Hunk began to wheeze as tears pricked at his eyes. 

“You’re a villain!” Lance gasped as he coughed. The taste lingered and Lance wanted to cry. “I can’t believe you. That’s not how you get someone to be more adventurous.” He downed a glass of water before catching his breath.

“My bad!” Hunk wheezed. “It’s a work in progress.” 

“Well, it needs a LOT of work.” Lance looked at his own untainted bowl and felt repulsed. He wasn’t going to be able to eat for a week. 

“It’s just a little payback for today. Oh, and seeing as I don’t have anything edible here,” Hunk nudged his prank, “can you please get me another bowl? You gave me your word.” Smug bastard, Lance thought, then did as he was bid.

“I suppose I deserved that.” Lance sighed with a smile. Lance returned from the kitchen and brought Hunk a fresh bowl. Hunk’s sporadic giggles were contagious as they ate and Lance held no malice for his friend or the joke. 

***

Hunk let the two of them eat in peace until he couldn’t hold his curiosity back anymore. 

“So, what was up with you and Pidge?”

Lance nearly upset his bowl. “W-what do you mean? Nothing’s up.”

“I’m not dumb, Lance. The awkwardness between you two was giving me the heebie-jeebies. So, what happened?” 

“Nothing happened… or wasn’t supposed to happen. I don’t know what happened.” Hunk lifted a thick eyebrow as if to say ‘I don’t follow.’ Lance sighed and let his head flop forward. “When did you realize you liked Shay?” 

Hunk protested. “Don’t change the subject.” 

“I’m not! I have a point. Just…” Hunk saw Lance’s fingers tremble slightly against his bowl and sighed. Hunk allowed himself a moment to collect his thoughts before beginning.

“I don’t think I realized how much I liked her at the time, but I guess it was the day I met her. You remember how she had been a slave, but she still had the courage to save me and Coran. I was terrified and she showed me what bravery was. It’s hard to explain, but when she was captured so I could escape, I don’t know, I had this overwhelming need to save her, to protect her. Because of her, I found my reason to fight as a paladin. She gave me a reason to be courageous, to be a better person.” Lance was watching him intently, but Hunk could tell Lance’s mind was trying to work something out. “After we liberated the Balmera,” Hunk continued, “we kept in touch. I visited as often as I could, but it wasn’t long before I realized I didn’t want to leave; at least not without her. I knew I had a job to do and it wasn’t safe for her to come with me… I just didn’t want to leave her company. Do you know what I mean? I don’t know when my feelings went from admiration to… more, but yeah. That aside, I guess I am in awe that someone as strong as she, can be so soft, uh, as in kind. She is incredibly kind and… oh she wants to come with me to Earth after the war is over. I never thought there would be a day where I would be bringing a girl home.” Hunk’s cheeks began to feel hot with embarrassment. He waited for Lance to begin teasing him, but no verbal jabs came. 

“I’m happy for you, Hunk.” Lance said with sincerity. “Do your parents know you have an alien girlfriend?” Lance pressed and Hunk blushed. I only got to speak with them for the first time just this morning. There was a lot to catch up on.” Lance raised an eyebrow in disapproval. “They know I met someone special. Sheesh. Does your mom know about all your flirty escapades or that you kissed a mermaid? Or I guess that was technically her jellyfish mask. You know what I mean.” 

“Of course not! But yours is different. It’s special isn’t it? Wouldn’t you want your parents to know?”

“Shay IS special!” Hunk said protectively. “So the fact that she is Balmeran shouldn’t make a difference.” 

“You’re right.” Said Lance. “It’s just, intelligent life beyond the human race is still a new concept for Earth. You might want to give your mother a heads up before she has a heart attack.”

“I know. I will. It was all just a lot for them to process. I want to ease them into it.” Hunk looked down at his bowl and stewed over the conversation he knew he had to have with his folks. They had been worried for him after not hearing from him for nearly two years. It was to be expected, so they were twice as shocked to learn he was also thousands of galaxies away. He wondered how they would take the news of him in a relationship with an alien. He imagined a hysterical blowup, while also seeing it blow over as no big deal. He pictured his family swarming Shay with hugs and a million questions. He knew she would be overwhelmed at first and Hunk smiled. The prospect of their future was… wait.

“How did we start talking about me? You were supposed to be telling me about why you and Pidge are acting weird.” Lance held up his hands in defense with a strained smile. Hunk wasn’t going to let him get out of his interrogation. 

“I’ve been trying to figure it out all day.” Lance stated with somber eyes. 

“Why don’t you tell me what happened and I can help you figure it out.” Hunk became warry when Lance flushed. 

“That’s the thing, nothing REALLY happened… I just kinda had a thought. Now I can’t get that thought out of my head. I don’t know if I’m crazy or if there might actually be something there.”

“Dude. You are speaking in riddles.” Hunk complained as he spooned more food into his mouth.

“I think I might like Pidge!” Lance blurted out. Hunk dropped his utensil. 

“What?! How does something like THAT happen from NOTHING?” Hunk didn’t know what to think. Lance might as well be wearing a chicken mask while river dancing. What he just heard was absurd. 

“I don’t know.” Lance dropped his head into his hands. 

“I don't get it. She’s not your type.” 

“What does that mean?” Lance asked at the table.

“I mean, you normally go for girls that are tall, elegant, beautiful...” Hunk ticked the traits off on his fingers.

“Are you saying Pidge isn’t beautiful?” Lance scowled. 

“I’d say Pidge falls more on the cute spectrum… kinda like a hyper-intellectual hamster.” 

A laugh escaped Lance’s lips. “I’m going to tell her you said that.” Hunk was struck with horror while Lance wiped a fresh tear from his eye. 

“Then I’ll tell her that you suddenly have rose tinted goggles for her.” Hunk fired back. Lance deflated.

“I doubt she would even believe you… I don’t know if I even believe it myself. I didn’t think it was possible for my view of a person to change so drastically. I mean you’re right, it’s Pidge. We have been friends since our time at the Garrison. Hell, I used to think she was a boy when no one else did. Shows how vigilant I am. But, we have come so far together. We have fought together, survived together… She helped me when I was down.” Lance met Hunk’s eyes as if to plead for the answer. “I don’t know; things feel…different.” 

“Dude, you might just be mistaking gratitude for affection.” 

Lance sagged. “You might be right… but you helped me too and I don’t have any desire to kiss you.” Wait. Hunk wasn’t sure he heard that right. ‘kiss’ Pidge? Lance’s wide eyes told Hunk that Lance was just as surprised by his comment as he was. Lance grabbed his head. “Wait, that’s not…” Lance took a deep breath. “Pidge WAS just a teammate, but now… I don’t know when I may have started seeing her as more. I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure it out. I suppose I have always admired her for her intelligence. She does things with a computer I have no hopes of wrapping my head around. But at the same time everyone on our team has something I admire. I mean, look at you. You are a genius engineer.”

“Stop it Lance, or I might think you are crushing on me too.” Hunk teased. Lance smiled sadly.

“Maybe you’re right. Perhaps I am just confusing gratitude with affection.” Lance dropped his head again and Hunk thought his ramble was over. “But then, there was this morning. She looked so peaceful, asleep in my arms.” Hunk blanched. What!? “Kinda like what you were saying, when you needed to rescue Shay, I felt like I needed to protect her, and then she said…” Lance cut himself off. The words appeared to terrify Lance. 

“What did Pidge say?”

Lance laughed nervously. “A-ah, it was nothing.”

“Well then can you at least fill me in on why Pidge was asleep in your arms?” Hunk pried as a prickle of irritation came over him.  
“Ah, well, Princess Allura tasked me with making sure Pidge finally got some sleep. Pidge had a headache that was keeping her awake and I… kind of… gave her a massage?” Lance looked up at Hunk as if fearing a parental verbal lashing. 

“A massage? Are you kidding me?”

“Don’t look at me like I’m some kind of pervert! It wasn’t like that! I used to give massages to my mom and grandma all the time. Giving one to Pidge was no different.” Lance argued his case as if trying to convince himself it was true.

“It IS if now you think you might be in love with her.” Hunk barked. “Don’t try to lie and tell yourself it’s not.” Hunk wondered how Lance could be so dense. “What about Allura? Wasn’t she one of the reasons you have been Mr. Mopey lately? What happened to all those feelings? Did they just disappear?” Hunk waited as Lance held his face in his hands again. 

“I don’t know Man. My head is a mess right now. I mean, Allura is beautiful and I respect her as our Princess and teammate, but I guess a part of me has realized that it’s a lost cause. She has Lotor and I am just a boy from Cuba with nothing to offer her.” Lance’s voice fell in pity and Hunk was triggered. 

“PIDGE IS NOT A BACKUP.” Hunk growled, protectively. Lance looked up, realizing his mistake. 

“I know that.” Lance exclaimed. “That’s not my intent. The last thing I want is to create drama for the team… or hurt a teammate. It’s just, I came to the realization that I might have only been in love with the idea of loving Allura.”

“I don’t follow.” Hunk didn’t think he was going to like Lance’s explanation.

“Maybe I’ve read too many fairytales with my sister, but I always liked the idea of the princess falling in love with her loyal knight. You know, like Guinevere and Lancelot. It’s childish, I know. Anyways, I got to thinking that if Allura wasn’t a Princess or an alien, the exotic appeal wouldn’t be there. Listening to you talk about Shay, only confirmed that thought. There is nothing holding me to them emotionally. I really don’t have any draw to the princess, or the mermaids, or other alien babes aside from the idea of how cool a love story it would make.”  
“You really are a man-whore.” Hunk groaned, disapprovingly. Lance looked affronted. 

“You’re missing the point Big Guy. I’m seeing Pidge for something deeper than her heritage or genetic makeup.”

“No, you are seeing her as” Hunk held up quote fingers. “an ‘easier’ target. You see her as a simple human who can ground you in reality.” Lance was silent. “But, newsflash, we are not living in a normal reality. The universe is more fantastic than we ever dreamed… and Pidge is more extraordinary than you give her credit. Even for a human, she stands above them as an oddity.” 

Lance tried to respond, but words failed him. 

“Look,” Hunk sighed. “I’m going to say this because you are basically my brother.” Lance lifted his head, awaiting his verdict. “I think it’s a bad idea.” Lance flinched. “You are a great guy and I trust you with my life, but… you are a flirt.” Lance’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t look at me like that. Pidge is basically my best friend and like a sister. I don’t want you messing with her feelings if you-”

“Won’t be loyal to her?” Lance finished, dully. 

“Can you blame me for thinking it?” Hunk asked hesitantly. 

Lance stared at his hands in contemplation. “No. I suppose I can’t.” The dead tone in Lance’s voice made Hunk feel ashamed for his harshness and he looked away. 

The duo sat in silence while Hunk wracked his mind for a solution. Lance was quiet. He looked as if his mind was an out of date computer trying to process the world. There was practically steam coming from the guy’s ears and the misery etched onto his face was pitiful to look at. Hunk found himself sighing for what felt like the millionth time that day.

“Ok. Let’s say you actually DO like Pidge and your feelings are one-hundred percent genuine, with zero piggish intent.” Lance looked about to argue, but Hunk shot him a look that kept him quiet. “This is Pidge we are talking about. Have you ever seen her eyes sparkle at anything that wasn’t a machine?” Hunk tried a little humor to soften the jab of reality. “Unless you go Terminator on us, she probably won’t look twice at you.” 

An idea must have struck Lance, because he grabbed up his bowl, hesitated only a tick, then began shoveling. Hunk watched in bemusement as Lance’s dinner disappeared. Then, without a word, Lance was on his feet and leaving the dining room with his empty bowl.

“Wait. Where are you going?” Hunk questioned. 

Lance paused at the door and looked back. “To clear my head.” 

Hunk couldn’t read Lance’s face. Was that a smirk? Determination? He didn’t understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooray for a Hunk perspective! I wonder if you agree with his reaction to Lance's confused declaration. On another note, what is up with Shiro?
> 
> So this was a longer chapter. Initially, this was the halfway mark for what I had planned, but it grew too large. The product of Lance's determination will now be reveled in chapter 6.
> 
> I have this entire story mapped out, including an epilogue, but instances like this may stretch it beyond 17 chapters. We shall see :)


	6. Learning Something New

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I wanted to post this yesterday, but I'm currently dealing with Hurricane Florence and my power has been shotty for the past two days. I'm happily distracting myself by writing awkward moments between two pubescent paladins. Hope you enjoy ;P
> 
> Voltron time reference:  
> Dobosh - minute

Freshly showered and casually dressed, Lance walked with the confidence of a naïve fool. He was puffed up; his inflated courage a façade on the brink of bursting. He understood Hunk’s cause for concern. He and Pidge were buds, her acting big brother while Matt was off spying for the rebels. Lance frowned. He supposed he earned his reputation… he was Loverboy Lance, after all. That said, Lance wanted to believe that Hunk had still misunderstood him. Lance hadn’t been any good with his words. Maybe it was because he had been frazzled by his actual intent… but now Lance was questioning himself. What did he want? He had been quick to think he was falling for Pidge; all it took was a sparkly green dress, a little kindness, and a nap in his arms for his perspective of the quirky runt to be painted in roses. It had taken less for Lance to swoon over the Princess, Nyma, mermaids, and all the local ladies of every planet they ever freed. Never had he been ashamed of his behavior. At least he was actually making an effort; not like before with… Lance shook his head. 

Hunk had made a valid point. Pidge didn’t seem the type to be interested in anything with a living pulse. If it was full of wiring, metal, and electric circuits, that was another story. She would fawn and practically glow with adoration over any type of foreign technology. The fact that she was able to decipher how they all worked, never ceased to amaze him. 

_‘I think I might love you.’_

Her words echoed in Lance’s mind. She had uttered them whilst asleep, but they had come from HER lips… and while she was in HIS arms. Was he reading too much into it? Had she simply been dreaming of automatons and he greedily thought those words were meant for him? He was mortified at the thought. If they were true, he might as well have been caught waving at her while she was waving at a robot behind him. Oh, the humiliation. 

Lance found himself in front of Pidge’s door before he knew what he was going to do. He told Hunk he was going to clear his head. That meant figuring out his true intentions. Was his libido merely running amuck? The last thing he wanted was to hurt Pidge with false intent. He also didn’t want to make an ass of himself if/when she didn’t take him seriously. No. He wouldn’t try anything; he wouldn’t imply anything until he was sure of what he felt. A flash of pain pricked at a memory and a little voice whispered, 

_‘Remember what came from waiting last time. You were always spineless when it actually mattered. You were then; you are now.’_

Lance shook his head. This wasn’t like last time. This was caution for the sake of not damaging his current relation with his teammate. 

_‘Same story, different face.’_ The voice hissed. _‘Last time you were worried about upsetting the balance too. You were friends. You didn’t want to screw that up. You accepted defeat because you knew she loved your brother. You never had a chance with Jenny because you waited. You did nothing. You happily assumed the little brother role and that’s where you stayed; not once attempting to tip the scale in your favor. Poor, sweet, Lance. She never noticed you were breaking when she hugged you, when she kissed your cheek on her wedding day. Now you have the role of uncle to look forward to. When are you going to be selfish and actually take what you want? And I don’t mean all your empty attempts at flirting. Sure, you are noticed, but not sincerely. No one will ever take the affections of a player to heart. There is nothing special about it. Why do you think Allura never noticed you romantically? You gave her the same pining treatment you gave the mermaids and bean-pole-people -’_

‘No!’ Lance thought. ‘This IS different. I’m confused. I don’t even know how feel about Pidge. I care for her. And it’s because I do, that I need to wait. So shut up!’

Chilling cackle wracked his mind. _‘Alright, Lance. Just don’t wait too long to make up your mind, or you’ll miss yet another opportunity.’_

“Lance?” 

Lance jumped at his name and whirled. It was Hunk.

“You just took off. What are you doing? And are you ok? You look pale.” Hunk’s worry shocked Lance out of his inner torment. The haze and hiss that had come over his mind was gone. He felt tingles in his fingers as feeling returned to them. He hadn’t realized were numb. He flexed his hands and pulled Hunk from earshot of Pidge’s door. 

“I’m going to figure out if I see Pidge as a friend or if I actually like her.” 

Hunk crossed his arms, clearly unimpressed. 

“Don’t worry. I’m not going to try anything; I just want to get closer to her and see if I can figure things out.” 

Hunk sighed with defeat, then slapped a bear paw of a hand on Lance’s shoulder. He squeezed. “If you do anything to hurt her, I swear, I will pound you into pulp.” The flare in his eyes told Lance that his typically easy-going comrade meant business. Lance was confused when Hunk dropped his hand and began walking away. 

“Wait, where are you going?” Lance called after him.

“It’s already ten doboshes past seven. I’m late for my call with Shay.” Hunk scowled, but he couldn’t hide the flush that spread over his cheeks. 

Lance gave a slight start. He didn’t know how long it would take for him to get used to Hunk’s mushy love story. “Ahh, well” Lance cleared his throat. “remember what Shiro said. Make sure you reroute the signal three times before -”

“I know, Lance.” Hunk waved as he retreated. “I’ve been doing that from the beginning. It was more of a reminder for you anyways.” He teased.

Lance huffed as he watched his friend leave. He couldn’t help that transmissions, signal routings, and computers weren’t his forte. He was learning a bit here and there from hanging around Hunk and Pidge, but it still boggled his mind. Lance’s eyes flicked back to Pidge’s door down the hall. He was learning a lot of new things recently. 

Lance sucked in a chest full of air and marched himself back to her room’s entrance. He felt his heart quicken as he raised his fist and gave the door three light taps. There was muffled clinking, but little movement from beyond the sheathed threshold. Lance’s hand quivered. Did he dare try again? 

*** 

Pidge was working with a ferocity. Shiro had lit a fire under her and now she moved with an eagerness to be useful. She had never seen Shiro look so ferocious. It scared her. She never imagined he would ever consider replacing her or Lance. Was that even possible? It was the lion who chose its pilot. Had it all been a farce to refocus her distracted mind? If so, despite its poor taste, she would be lying if she said it didn’t work. She needed to come up with something that could assist her on missions. 

She thought back to Rover and her heart clenched. Their time together had been short, but he had become a precious partner to her. The little drone had even saved her life on the night the castle was hijacked. He saved her by sacrificing himself. He was the reason her mission to stunt the castle’s engines had been a success. There was no replacing Rover, but she admitted that having a helper like him again, would allow her to accomplish so much more. 

Pidge looked down at a decommissioned drone in her hands. Lotor had given them more than just a supply of droids to spar with; he had allowed them to raid their junk stock and pick from the bots that were dysfunctional. Pidge smirked. Just one of the perks of your princess dating the new Galra emperor. She and Hunk had had a field day and collected as many bots as they could carry. One just happened to be a drone of similar design to Rover. The one in her hands was a sad reminder of the partner she lost. It was a newer model with pronounced fins along each of its triangular ridges. She wondered where its glitch lay. 

With the delicacy of a surgeon, Pidge removed the drone’s back armor and revealed a maze of wires around command chips, a cooling fan, its hover engine, and brain panel. 

“Alright, little guy, what’s got you under the weather?” 

As Pidge moved to dive in with her tweezers, a faint tapping tickled her ear. Her head flipped to her door. Was she hearing things? She stared at the door, as if daring it to speak again. Nothing. With a frown, Pidge returned her attention to the dysfunctional drone in her lap just as her ears pricked at a louder trio of knocks. There WAS someone out there. She set her patient aside and pushed her magnifying goggles onto her forehead. She noticed a stiffness in her legs as she picked herself up off the floor. She had to step over clothes, three computers, a blanket, and Trash Hunk in order to get to the door. She waved her hand over the sensor and there stood a befuddled Lance with damp hair and smelling of orange spice bodywash. 

***

Pidge stood before him in the entrance to her room. She had orange goggles resting on her forehead and her bangs pulled into a tiny ponytail on the top of her head. She wore black pants that bunched around her toes and a loose-fitting grey V-neck shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbow. She was comical. Maybe convincing himself that Pidge was truly only a friend would be easier than he thought. No. Something about that thought felt untrue. 

“Lance? What are you doing here? Is Hunk not with you?”

“Ahhh, no. He’s talking to Shay. It’s just me.” 

“Oh, well…” 

“Do you want to hang out?” Lance blurted out. He noted the shock in her amber eyes and held his breath. 

“Ahh, well, I’m working on something right now…”

“It’s ok. Do you mind if I just hang with you while you work? I won’t be a nuisance. I promise.” Was he being too pushy? Was she going to suspect anything? 

“Uhhh, I mean, if you want… It probably won’t be very exciting, but sure.” Lance lit up and followed the tiny human oddity into her room. She pointed at a space on the floor. “I’m working over there, so…um,” She looked about herself, “find a spot?” She blushed. Lance looked about. There were no ‘spots.’ He spied a cargo container and swatted the mismatching socks from it before taking a seat. 

Pidge was quick to take her place on the floor. She had replaced her goggles over her eyes and was inspecting a drone with wires poking out its back-side. The ponytail atop her head wobbled as she angled her head from side to side. So that was the reason for the goofy hairdo. Too long to not be a nuisance, yet too short to properly pull up. Lance couldn’t help but grin to himself. 

“So, what are you working on?” Lance attempted at conversation. Pidge pulled her eyes from her project to look up at him. The magnification of her goggles made her amber eyes four times larger than normal and a chuckle escaped his lips. She scowled and lifted the drone for him to see.

“I’m trying to bring this little guy back to life.” 

“Do you know what’s wrong with him?” Lance inquired.

“Not yet, but I’ll figure it out.” 

“You always do… Uh,” 

He hadn’t meant to say it aloud and definitely not in a tone that made him sound like an admiring fanboy. “Uh, I mean of course you will. You got this.” He offered her a thumbs up and cringed at his own cheesiness. 

“Mmm.” She acknowledged and turned back to her work. Lance sat in his own silent inducing awkwardness and fiddled with his hands. His palms felt clammy and thought he was going to die if he didn’t do something. If he was an engineer or understood computer gadgets, he could help her, but unfortunately, his strengths lay with literature and sniping. So unless he was going to read to Pidge, or shoot something, he would be of little use to her. Unsure of what to do with himself, he let his eyes wander. He immediately became consumed with one overall thought.

“Do you ever have trouble finding stuff or is there some secret order to… this?” He motioned to the clutter that swallowed her room. Pidge flinched. He wished he could punch himself if Pidge didn’t beat him to it. He basically just insulted her living space. 

“I know where everything is… mostly.” She didn’t look at him. He must have embarrassed her? He clenched his hands together. ‘You shmuck.’ He told himself. 

“Um, if you want, I don’t mind doing a bit of organizing for you.” She stayed silent but her fingers remained busy. Lance sat with a rigid back as he awaited her answer. The moment she put her tweezers in her mouth and grabbed up a thin poker, he realized he wasn’t going to get one. Lance sighed, slipped off the container, and let himself fall to his knees on a pile of clothes. He promptly began separating and making piles. 

“Is there a reason you’re here?” Pidge asked softly. Lance winced. 

“No real reason in particular. I just felt like spending time with you.” 

“But you are cleaning my room.” She said flatly. 

“My OCD is kicking in. Don’t worry, I actually enjoy cleaning… uh, that’s if you don’t mind.”

“Um, I don’t mind much, so long as you are careful with my babies…”

‘Babies’? Lance wondered. She must mean her tech. 

“It’s just… you have my…”

Lance looked at his hand and realized he was holding a sports bra. 

“Ah!” He dropped the garment. “I’m so sorry!” Lance’s face burned with mortification. His sight had been overloaded by the immense clutter. With his focus heightened, he was suddenly able to pick out glimpses of other bras and underwear amongst the scattered socks and shirts. This was not the same as picking up his little sister’s room. This was Pidge’s room! Sure, she was a tomboy, but she was a girl all the same. What the hell had he been thinking?!

“N-no i-it’s ok. It’s my f-fault for being so messy.” Her face was like a beet and her goggles amplified the embarrassment in her eyes. This was becoming a disaster. 

Lance pushed the clothes into one giant pile. “I’ll just save the clothes for later. There’s lots of other stuff that I can organize.” He stood and busied himself with the various electronics. He caught Pidge eyeing him several times; probably to make sure he was being gentle and didn’t break anything. He left her room a couple times to grab a garage bag and cleaning products. Lance found his groove and the room was slowly becoming less of a life hazard. 

Several times he had to hop over Pidge to get to the back of her room. She would lean to the left and right to make room without Lance having to say a word. It was like they were strangely in sync. She was heavily engrossed in her work, but she body-language made him feel like she was always aware of where he was. 

“Found it!” Pidge exclaimed. Lance set down a hover generator to go look over her shoulder. Held in her tweezers was a scorched rectangle of metal. 

“What does that do?” Lance asked.

Pidge lifted her head and nearly whacked Lance in the nose. He flinched away. If Pidge realized how dangerously close she had been, she didn’t show it… geek tunnel vision. 

“This little chip is responsible for accepting signals into the main command chip…” His face must have betrayed his blank understanding of what she had said because she simplified her speech. “Its brain.” She began to rattle on about how it worked and functioned with its connecting parts, but even with her kindergarten level explanations and examples, Lance could barely follow. She might as well have been speaking in tongues. “Looks like it overloaded and fried itself. Kind of like your brain right now.” Pidge teased. 

“Heh, that’s what you think.” Lance smirked. “I understood every word you said.” 

“Then what does this chip do?” Pidge asked holding it up, as if to mock him. 

“I said I understood all of the words, not what they meant when you put them all together.” Lance huffed before they both cracked and giggled. “So, what do you need to do to fix it?”

Pidge was already on her feet and headed for him. Lance gulped at the purpose amplified by her goggles as she reached a hand out. He thought she was reaching for him and braced for contact only to deflate when he realized she was aiming for the chest behind him. He sidestepped as she began rummaging through various parts of quirky shapes and sizes.

“I’ll definitely need to replace the fried chip. There is no saving it. I won’t know how the other connecting parts were affected until I power it up… hopefully I didn’t miss anything.” 

“Wow, you have a lot of parts. Do you just collect whatever you find in the off chance that you might be able to use it?” Lance said, admiringly. There were so many, but there was clearly no sense of order to their placement. He certainly had his work cut out for him.  
“Pretty much. Ah! And it looks like it paid off.” She held up a chip with a triumphant grin. Lance wondered how she managed to locate something so small in that mess of a box. “I don’t know if it is from the same model of drone, but it should do the trick.” 

Pidge hopped back to her seat on the floor with a cheery hum and began applying her tech-sorcery to the crippled drone. Lance watched fondly for a tick before turning back to his duty when a soft moving glow caught his eye. What looked like two angry blue eyes multiplied into four, then six. After a second look, Lance realized the glow came from floating puffs of green, blue, and yellow, and weren’t from their eyes, but illuminated triangle markings on their cheeks. The blue one sat atop an obscure tin-man and Lance jumped when it scuttled out of view. 

“Wha-Pidge! I think you might have an infestation.” 

Pidge looked up, her ponytail atop her head wobbling, and laughed. Lance raised an eyebrow in squeamish confusion. 

“Those aren’t bugs; they’re more like hitchhikers.” Lance didn’t follow. “Remember when we all got separated? You and Hunk ended up on a water planet with” She frowned, “the mermaids.” Lance nodded. “Well, I ended up in a space trash dump. There were hundreds of those little guys. They helped me build the antenna that let me contact the castle. I didn’t realize they tagged along until after I was picked up.” 

The green puff was apparently the bravest and floated itself up to Lance’s face and bumped into his nose. It appeared to delight in Lance’s surprise and did a back flip before settling onto his shoulder. Lance saw the blue one emerge from its hiding place behind the tin-man. The yellow one sat perched on the tin-man’s head. 

“What about that? I didn’t take you for an art connoisseur.” 

Pidge immediately became defensive. “That’s not art; that’s, uh… you.” Lance reeled his attention back on the suddenly bashful tech wiz. 

“Me?” 

“Don’t judge me. While you had Hunk, and Shiro and Keith had each other, I was all alone. I thought I was finally going to have some peace and quiet, but… I guess the saying is true. ‘Be careful what you wish for.’ I couldn’t stand it.” Pidge lowered the drone to the floor. “It was just me. I didn’t even have radio static. It was just silent… and lonely.” Lance didn’t know what to do with himself. He had never seen Pidge look so vulnerable before. “But then I ran into those little guys and I guess I got some pep back. To kill some time, I made trash versions of the entire team to keep me company.” Lance felt an ache creep into his heart. The whole time he had been swimming after literal tail, Pidge had been all alone with radio darkness. He felt like an ass. “B-but don’t think you are s-special. I brought Trash Hunk back with me too.”  
Lance immediately honed in on the Hunk-shaped metal on the floor near the head of Pidge’s bed. 

“But why is he just a head? Where’s the rest of him?” Lance asked in mock horror.

Pidge blushed and jumped to defend her faults. “The rest of him fell apart when I tried to bring him along. I had limited tools, ok. If I had had a welder or something, he wouldn’t have broke.”

“Hmm. But Trash-Me survived. You apparently captured my incredible strength.” Lance teased as he flexed his biceps. He observed the tin-man. It looked like a metal scarecrow. He reached for one of its skinny arms. “Couldn’t you have made me look a little more, I don’t know, manly? I mean, I’m not this scrawny, am I?” 

“Hmph. I think he is a spitting image.” 

“Oh, come on. My nose isn’t THAT big. It looks like there’s a giant carrot sticking out of my face.” 

“Like I said, spitting image.” Pidge and Lance scowled at each other and the floating trash aliens grew anxious under the mock tension. Their quivering in mid-air ceased once the two paladins began to giggle. 

***

Pidge was catching her breath when Lance’s words stole it away again.

“There’s one thing I don’t get. Why bring your trash manikins back if we were all about to be reunited?”

‘Why do you have to always be so obtuse and oblivious?’ Thought Pidge. She didn’t know how to answer him. She couldn’t say that in her time of solitude, it was HIS noise she had missed the most. Before she joined team Voltron, Hunk and Lance were the only people she was ever semi-close with. She never had any other friends. Her previous classmates had all found her nerdiness undesirable. She didn’t have anyone to relate to, no one she connected with except her big brother, Matt… and her Garrison teammates. She couldn’t tell Lance that even though she knew she was about to be reunited, she still feared being separated from everyone again… she feared the silence. She brought Trash Hunk and Lance back as a reminder. She would never take them for granted again. Even when Hunk complained about her work ethics and empty stomach, even when Lance flaunted pictures of himself posing with alien girls, she would be grateful she was with them to hear it. She no longer had to create a mock-conversations between heaps of garbage molded to look like her friends while imitating their personalities. She brought them back with her because she wanted to be with them, always.

“Ahh, sorry. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want. Here I go running my mouth again.” Lance scratched the back of his head. Pidge noticed he did that a lot when he was embarrassed or nervous. 

Pidge smiled to herself. “It’s ok. I don’t mind the noise.” 

***

‘Noise?’ Lance wasn’t sure if it was meant as a burn. The goggles were making Pidge’s expressions hard to read, but the tiny smile that pulled on the corner of her mouth made him think it wasn’t. She was an odd one… but there was something endearing about her quirkiness.  
Lance turned his back to her before she could catch him staring and scratched his head again. What had he been doing? He saw the hover generator he had been moving and hopped over the chest of spare parts to retrieve it. The machine was heavy but he managed to lug it over to the wall by the foot of Pidge’s bed. Catching his breath he looked up and his eyes caught on a picture taped to the wall. He recognized it. It was the picture of Pidge and her brother, Matt. He had seen it numerous times while linking their minds for team training. He had thought Matt was Pidge and Pidge had been her (his) girlfriend. Seeing the photo in person was a bit nostalgic. He was embarrassed it took Pidge announcing her gender to realize ‘he’ was actually a ‘she.’ Pidge looked so young in the photo. Her hair was long and adorned with a purple headband. She even wore a matching dress. Differences aside, Pidge’s scrawny physique and earnest smile was now unmistakable. How had he been so blind?

There were other photos too. He recognized her father, Sam in one of them. The woman with him had to be Pidge’s mother. Lance smiled to himself. She even had a dog. Lance, suddenly felt invasive and stole his eyes away. Lance felt like the entire day had turned into a rather invasive one. He was learning things about Pidge he never expected. The Trash paladins had been a surprise. He never thought Pidge had been so attached to everyone, at least not back then. He wasn’t sure what he was hoping to hear when he asked her why she kept the trash replica… of him specifically. He understood keeping Hunk’s because they were pals, but why his? Was he hoping to hear that he was special? She said he wasn’t, herself. Had he hoped Pidge meant it as a cover her bashfulness? Was he just reaching… hoping? 

Lance grabbed up the chest of spare parts and brought it to a now clear spot on the floor. While he sat against the back corner of the bed, Pidge sat against its side. Practically shoulder to shoulder, the pair worked in comfortable silence. Pidge tinkered away, while Lance dumped everything from the chest and began making piles. The chest was equipped with three removable levels, each divided into nine squares. It was like a puzzle. The heavier, more bulky parts should be placed on the bottom level, leaving room for the lighter ones on the top. Lance looked to Pidge out of the corner of his eye. The baggy shirt she wore made her forearms look even smaller. Her wrists were bony and her meticulous fingers were slender. He wanted to organize everything in a way that would limit heavy lifting.

*** 

Time ticked away and Lance felt his eyes becoming heavy. He didn’t know how much time had passed. It had already been relatively late when he joined Pidge. He hoped he wasn’t overstaying his welcome. He looked at the pile of parts that remained on the floor. He was barely half finished and yet his consciousness was slipping. His day had been full. It began with putting a stubborn Pidge to sleep, only to make him question his feelings for the girl. He had tried to distract himself by training with Hunk all day. Then he had assigned himself the incredible task of bringing order to Pidge’s room. He felt worn and ragged. The wires, chips, and plugs felt heavy in his fingers. Their home in the chest became blurred and impossible to pinpoint, but he was compelled to finish. He had just cleaned up. He couldn’t leave a mess on the floor. Pidge wouldn’t mind if… he shut his eyes for… just a moment, would she? Just a moment… then… he would… finish.

*** 

Pidge heard a metallic disturbance to her left. She flipped her head and came nose to nose with a sleeping Lance. Her face immediately burned. He smelled so incredibly good… nothing like the intense body odor of someone who withstood a day of intense training. His hair had been damp when he came to her door. The smell of his orange-spiced bodywash had been pungent. Now, that scent had dulled and been overridden with something more… Lance-like. She couldn’t put words to it, but it was a comfortable smell. He smelled of hard work, endurance, smiles, and something else… butterflies?

Pidge let herself remain nose to nose with Lance. She was able to see her teammate in a way that was foreign to her. She could see he actually had short, thick lashes. His nose and upper cheeks were speckled with sun spots. His Cuban copper skin appeared smooth, save for the faint stubble upon his chin; perhaps there was some merit to those peevish night masks after all. Pidge pouted. Her attention turned to the stubble and relived its pleasant scratching on her shoulder. Her heart quickened and her sight landed on Lance’s thin, slightly parted lips. His breath was steady and faint upon her skin. She was close, too close. Pidge suddenly wondered what it would feel like to close what little gap there was, to put her lips on his. She felt another exhale touch her skin, as if daring her to make it stop. Her pulse screamed in her chest and Pidge dragged her face away from temptation. She huffed heavily as she filled her lungs with shaky gasps. She let the drone slip from her fingers and placed her hands on her chest. 

“Dammit.” She breathed. “I wish I was a robot. I don’t think my human circuits can handle this.” 

***

End of chapter 6


	7. The Line Between Nightmare and Fantasy is a Fine One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance has a nightmare and both paladins struggle to tame their own fantasies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I know this is a shorter chapter than usual; I'm a little bogged down with college at the moment. Still, I wanted to give you guys a little something on time, so here you go :D
> 
> This is the chapter where things start to get a little dark. Just an FYI

Lance’s eyes fluttered open to a dark room. There was a scuffle just out of sight. Vague outlines of furniture were upset and crashed to the floor. Lance squinted to see who was fighting. There was heavy breathing and grunts as two figures grappled and fell to the floor. The figure on top was significantly larger than the other. Lance made to intervene but to his astonishment, found his body to be stiff as stone. 

“Please, this isn’t you!” Lance immediately pinned the voice to Pidge. His heart panicked as her voice became strangled. She coughed and Lance struggled against his invisible bonds. “Please…” She croaked. “I can… help… you.” She strained to say. “Lance.”

Lance’s heart dropped. There was a bone crunching snap and the room was still. Lance couldn’t breathe. The figure straddling Pidge raised its head. A malicious purple glow emanated from the assailant’s eyes and illuminated its prey… his comrade, his friend. 

Pidge was lifeless. 

To Lance’s horror, her neck was twisted, unnaturally angling her face towards him. The purple haze showed splintered bone jutting from her ruined neck. Bile filled Lance’s mouth as nausea swept over him. Her mouth was agape, her lips blue and oxygen-starved. Her agonized amber eyes sat bulged, dim, and raw from tears shed in life. They held no spark of their owner’s usual spunk… Lance felt his body begin to tremble when a final tear slip down Pidge’s cheek. 

The haze flickered as the murderer blinked and turned its lantern-like eyes on Lance. Lance fought for breath as he became enthralled with rage. He strained against his invisible bonds. He screamed and hot tears cascaded down his cheeks. The assailant used Pidge’s broken body to push itself up and blood began to pool around her head. Lance snarled.

“Don’t you touch her!” He screamed. He turned his eyes back on Pidge’s crumpled figure. He cried her name. He begged for her to blink, anything to let him know she was ok. She gave no such sign. Her auburn curls began to drink up the red, but her eyes remained blank. Lance gagged on his grief. 

The wretched creature staggered and reset its glowing gaze on Lance. It walked with a drunk-like sway, hissing to itself, while it slowly made for its new prey. 

Realization sat like a pit of muck in Lance’s stomach. It was incredibly foul and impossible to ignore. He was caught with no hope of escaping it. The beast before him murdered Pidge. Pidge was dead. The sludge began to rise. Lance pulled, screamed, and cursed. “What did you do?! How could you?! I’ll kill you! I’m gonna fucking kill you!” Lance spat in furry. He became hysterical. “Pidge! Pidge! Say something!” Pidge’s mangled figure disappeared in the darkness as he sludge rose up to Lance’s throat, ready drown him. “No! Come back! Pidge!” Lance sobbed and choked on the truth. Pidge was gone. 

The approaching figure twitched with each unsteady step, unfazed by Lance’s erratic fury. Lance struggled and shook himself until he felt his left shoulder dislocate. He screamed against the pain and snarled like a mad dog. “I’ll fucking kill you.” He sobbed.

“Sss Sss Ssssss.” The creature’s laugh came out like a hiss. It violently twitched, as if its body was mutating. As it drew near, the darkness began to lift. The figure wore a hooded cloak to shield its face, but glow of its eyes remained prominent. It squinted as its hissing cackle went from erratic to hysterical. It’s soprano tones slowly dipped to an alto as it adapted human-like intonations. 

“What did you do?” The male voice gasped. Its figure trembled with each shaky step. It raised both hands in weary approach.

Lance blinked past his tears. He no longer understood what was happening. Wasn’t the figure going to attack him? Why was it suddenly afraid of him? 

The figure was mere feet away when it collapsed to its knees. Its hood slipped from its head and upset its short russet hair. It looked pathetically weak, hunched over, shaking, and sobbing… but strangely human. 

“Why?” It croaked in a broken voice. “Why her?” 

Lance was floored. The monster before him was not allowed to cry. Lance had wanted to rip the guy’s throat out mere ticks before. Why was he suddenly conflicted? Who or what was he?

The figure raised its head. The eyes shone with purple as gobs of tears welled and fell down his face. A drizzle of blood slid out of the side of his gasping mouth. The cheeks were faintly scuffed and bruised, but Lance knew the face to be his own. Lance too, collapsed. How could this be? 

“Pidge.” The other Lance wept and locked eyes with him. “Why did you do it?” The glow faded from his eyes to show they were in normal human agony. The pained accusation was directed at Lance. He didn’t understand. Why was he looking at him like that? Lance knew he didn’t do ANYTHING… It was the imposter across from him who killed Pidge. So why was he looking at HIM?

Lance looked down at his own hands and Pidge lay beneath him. His knees held her arms to the ground and his fingers were wrapped around her already ruined throat. Blood leaked from her wounds and caressed his skin. Horrified, Lance released her.

No! This was a mistake. He saw the other Lance kill her. It wasn’t him. He didn’t do anything. 

Helpless, Lance looked up at his doppelganger. Lance saw no traces of grief, just snarling rage.

“I’ll kill you!” He screamed and Lance was tackled. He felt his body fall into shallow water. It reeked of death and rot. Lance gagged and he tried to raise his head, but Other Lance pushed him back under. Lance felt his chest and face cave under his double’s pounding fists. The agonized wailing of his attacker became muffled as Lance’s body became water-logged. He felt his will begin to slip, but the pungent reek of his approaching death reeled back his sanity. With a last bout of strength Lance brought his foot up and kicked…

***

Lance gasped as he returned to consciousness. Puffs of color quickly retreated. The room was dim, but Lance knew it to be Pidge’s. He was panting and felt his shirt clinging to his damp skin. The side of his head throbbed as if it had just been struck. He rubbed at it and tried to collect himself. It was like he was trying to catch the wind. He recalled glimpses of purple in a vast darkness, but the memories slipped like water through his fingers. The only things that stuck were the feeling of agonized rage and that he was drowning. Aware that he was safe of the floor in Pidge’s room and no longer on the verge of death, Lance began to relax. He was still breathing heavy when the trash aliens poked their faces out of hiding. He realized he must have startled them when he woke up. The green one floated up to his nose and Lance would have sworn that it actually looked worried for him. The blue one took its place atop Lance’s head and the yellow one nuzzled against his chest. He supposed they were actually pretty cute. 

Lance suddenly took notice of a blue comforter than had fallen around his lap. His violent return to consciousness must have made it fall. Did Pidge cover him while he was sleeping? Lance was beginning to wonder how long he had been out when an image of dead amber eyes flashed through his mind. Pidge! Lance reeled his head to locate her when his face smacked into something soft and pungent. Lance pulled his face back and blinked away the shock. It was a foot! Lance looked up. It was Pidge’s foot! Lance had been sleeping on the floor against her bed and Pidge lay sprawled across it; her scrawny limbs hanging over the sides.

“What the hell?!” 

Lance jumped to his feet, rubbing his face as if trying to wipe the foot cooties away. A scheming impulse to scare her awake, came over Lance. How dare she stick her foot in his face! He leaned over her with an evil grin and creeper hands at the ready, when he paused. 

Pidge lay sprawling on her bed without covers. She was still clothed in the too-long black pants and the oversized grey shirt that rode up, revealing her pale, tiny stomach. She had let her hair down from that ridiculous ponytail, so her auburn curls lay strewn around her face. However, what made him pause wasn’t her exposed midriff or the fact that she slept in her day clothes, it was the pained expression on her face. Her hands and feet were twitching. That explained why his head hurt. She must have kicked him awake… Although, if he was drowning, dream or not, he supposed he should thank her. 

She clenched her teeth and whimpered against whatever nightmare had her in its clutches. Lance dropped his hands from attack-mode, into rescue. He placed them on either side of her sleeping figure and whispered her name. Wherever her mind was, she was somewhere deep and beyond his voice’s reach. He called to her again, this time louder. He lifted her up and lightly shook her shoulders. He called again and again until Pidge’s eyes burst open. There was a single tear brimming in her amber eye and it slipped down her cheek.   
Why did that seem so familiar?

***

Lance looked down at her and sighed before a gentle smile touched his lips. “Welcome back.” He looked relieved. “Where did you go?” 

Pidge didn’t know. She knew she had been dreaming, but she couldn’t see it. Everything was blurry and disappearing before she could grasp any of it. It was all just gone… everything except a lingering feeling that Lance had been in trouble, in pain, and she was the cause of it.   
Pidge looked up at Lance and blushed when she realized she had been asleep in his arms… AGAIN. She pressed her hands to his chest to detangled herself from his grasp when she became acutely aware of the muscles beneath her fingers. The fabric of his shirt could not shield her from her own imagination. She pictured copper skin and taught muscles. Pidge mentally drooled at the idea of a topless Lance, wading through the surf at a beach back home. He would look over his shoulder as the salt breeze ruffled his hair and he would smile at her… just for her. He would extend a sun-kissed hand to her and she would chase after him… in a plain one-piece swimsuit, flat-chested, and with giant orange floaties on her arms. 

Pidge’s mind blew a fuse. 

She practically looked like a child when compared to Lance… who was suddenly all muscle, chiseled chin, and Mr. Protective. Look at those eyes! Since when did he look at her like THAT? It took all her will power not to wheeze. 

“Whoah! Be careful!” Lance warned and pulled her back to him as she nearly toppled off the bed. Her face fell back into his chest. That was it.

*** 

Lance was stunned when Pidge threw him off of her, but his heart stopped when she actually fell off the bed. There wasn’t a crash, just a dulled thump. He got to his knees and looked over the edge. Pidge’s feet were in the air and her arms and face lost in a pile of clothes. She didn’t move right away. He didn’t know why, but a sudden fear that she had broken her neck in the fall came over Lance. 

“Pidge!” 

To his relief, she groaned and let her legs flop to the side, where she proceeded to right herself. She had a sock on her head and the comical sight made the queasy remanence of his nightmare subside. Able to chuckle again, he offered a hand to his fallen comrade only to see her shrink away. Was she scared of him? Perhaps she hadn’t recovered from her nightmare. That would explain why she pushed him away so suddenly. 

“It’s ok. You’re awake. Nothing is gonna get you now.” He watched as her breathing calmed and offered her his hand again, but she still refused it.

“It’s not that…” She shot back. “I just…” Her shoulder’s slumped and her amber eyes seemed to glisten when looked up into his. Lance’s stomach flipped. There was something trapped behind her pained expression. As she searched for the right words, Lance felt like he was on an edge, waiting. Words failed and to Lance’s dismay, Pidge dropped her eyes. “Maybe you’re right.” She whispered. 

Lance felt like he was missing something, but decided he wasn’t going to push her. Instead, his eyes caught on the oversized V-neck that hung loosely off of Pidge’s shoulder. 

“Um, I’ve been meaning to ask you.” Pidge looked back up at Lance. “Why are all your clothes so big?” Pidge prickled and Lance tried to recover. “What I mean is, I’ve never heard of someone shrinking THAT much.” To his surprise, Pidge immediately flushed and began straightening out her grey shirt. She mumbled something under her breath but Lance couldn’t understand. When he asked her to repeat it, she blew up.

“None of my clothes FIT anymore!” Lance watched as she fidgeted with the extra-long sleeves.

“Well, obviously,” he chuckled. “That’s what I was… wait.” Realization dawned on him. “Then whose clothes are THOSE?” 

Pidge pulled her knees to her chest and buried her face in her folded arms. “They’re Keith’s.” she mumbled. 

Shock hit Lance like hopping in a pool after sitting an hour in a hot tub. “What?! Why are you wearing Keith’s clothes?” Lance didn’t know what to think. 

“Well… I’ve kinda had a growth spurt recently, and my clothes are all too small now…” Her figeting only made Lance more agitated. “Keith’s been off with the Blades for a year already… so I don’t think he needs them…”

“Why didn’t you just ask ME?” Lance blurted. Both were equally shocked. 

“Why would I ask to borrow clothes from you?” Her words were soft and unsure, but they stung none then less. He was at a loss.

“I, uh-” 

“I mean, Corran ranked Keith as number four. I am number five. While there is obviously still a BIG difference in our size, Keith WAS the second smallest Paladin on the team…” She caught Lance’s eye and held his gaze. She looked embarrassed, frazzled, and… adorable all at once. Why had he said that? Was he being possessive, or just competitive? Keith was and forever would be his personal rival, after all. Did he just not like the idea of Pidge wearing Keith’s clothes, because it was Keith, or was it something else? He suddenly wondered what she would look like wearing one of his shirts. He pictured royal blue cloth draped over her pale skin. The fabric being too large for her tiny frame, would hang loosely around her shoulders, offering a teasing peak at her small, yet still hidden chest. She would catch him looking and he would lose himself in her honied furry before gathering her up in his arms. Laughing, she would throw her arms around his neck in forgiveness and lower her lips to… 

Lance slapped himself and Pidge jumped. He didn’t know what had just come over him. 

‘Damn these hormones!’ Lance thought, catching his breath. 

There was a heavy knock and Pidge’s door slid open, causing both of them to jump. Hunk poked his head in. They must have looked ridiculous. Lance was kneeling on Pidge’s bed with a freshly slapped cheek and Pidge was sprawled in a pile of clothes with a sock on her head. Hunk scanned the scene and threw accusatory mind daggers at Lance, who began waving his arms.

“It’s not what it looks like!” Lance screeched. Pidge looks back and forth between Lance and Hunk, confused.

“Doesn’t look like what?” She asked. Hunk smirked and Lance exhaled. Her innocence must have been all the proof he needed. 

“I don’t think I want to ask.” Groaned Hunk. “Anyways, I was looking for you guys because I have something to tell you.” Hunk shed his protective big brother persona and melted into a gooey gummy bear. He cupped his cheeks with his hands and twisted with glee. “Shay invited me to her coming of age ceremony!” 

***

End of Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading !   
> Chapter 8 will be out soon.


	8. Fight of the Phantoms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stake-out heart-to-hearts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a little late. Shakespeare and presentations have begun to take over my life.
> 
> I hope you enjoy :)
> 
> Voltron Time References:  
> Movement – week  
> Quintant – day  
> Phoeb - month

Hunk and Pidge were scouting out a Fluuto bean farm in the Lythrille system. They sat in their lions on opposing sides of the site, waiting. They had been observing for a quintant, hoping the bean farm would be the traitorous Captain Rylock’s next target. Rylock had been a small-time captain under Zarkon, but with his emperor dead, he went rogue and became a troublesome pirate. His targets always appeared random. Mining sites, farming stations, fueling depots, etc. The one consistent factor was all of the attacks disrupted trade and ease of life for the common citizen of the Galra empire/Voltron alliance. Colonies and planetary systems were all becoming effected as food and material shipments were not being met. Starvation was a far-off worry, but If Rylock’s actions continued, citizens would begin to question the competence of their leaders.

The trouble was, whenever a distress call was received, Rylock and his band of followers always seemed to vanish by the time Voltron could arrive. It was infuriating always being late by a hair. Pidge altered her original Glara-Finder into a Rylock-Finder. She merely had to input Rylock’s common targets and the finder would factor in predicted quadrants containing similar targets of interest. That was a phoebe ago. The finder had been close by a sector numerous times, but the distance had been enough to allow Rylock to escape. 

Despite it all, scouting missions were still being conducted nearly every quintant. Shiro would brief the team on their designated coordinates based off of Pidge’s Rylock-Finder and send the paladins off in two-man teams. Occasionally a pair would be away for several quintants but they were never in radio darkness. Corran was mother hen, manning the comms and keeping an eye on the scanners. One paladin would remain with the Castle of Lions, in rotation, in order to rest and assist Corran.

Pidge could feel her yellow partner’s impatience despite not being able to see him. He had been unusually quiet since they set out the day before. Apparently Allura had gone off on him during their previous scouting mission when he was in the middle of one of his rambling fits. That’s kind of what Hunk did when he was nervous or irritated; he rambled. Pidge barely noticed it anymore, but maybe that was because she was always around him. Allura clearly hadn’t developed her tolerance for it yet. 

Pidge pictured an anxious Hunk sitting cross armed and legged in his piolet seat, knee tapping along with each tick that slowly passed. He must be about ready to combust. From her lion’s hiding spot in a loading hangar, Pidge started a scan that covered the farm’s perimeter. She felt her own anxious tick in the tapping of her finger against her folded arms. She thought she might lose her mind if the silence continued any longer. Where was Hunk’s babbling when you needed it? 

“You ready for Shay’s party?” she asked. 

“It’s not just a party, Pidge.” Hunk spouted immediately. He must have been just as eager to break the silence. “It’s her coming of age ceremony! To a Balmeran it’s the biggest day of their lives, save for the day they raise their first crystal.” 

“It just sounds like a really big birthday party to me. Kind of like a quinceanera or when you turn 18.” Pidge added.

“I thought so too at first.” Hunk said solemnly. “But lately, I’m getting a feeling that it is something… more.”

“She didn’t tell you? Did you ask?”

“Of course I did, but she was being super vague about it all. She just said it was really important and hoped I could come. She sounded really nervous when she asked me. I didn’t want to push it.” 

“Hmmmm. Do you know what you are gonna wear?” Pidge asked.

“No! do you?” 

“I can barely clothe myself, let alone figure out what I am going to wear to your girlfriend’s not birthday party.”

Hunk chuckled. “I’m surprised you brought THAT up yourself.”

Pidge sneered. “Well, you and Lance can’t seem to get over the fact that I have been wearing Keith’s clothes, so I’m taking away your punch line.”

“Doesn’t matter; it will always be funny.” Pidge’s groan ascended into a laugh and Hunk joined in. Pidge’s dashboard pinged.  
‘Scan Com-plete.’ 

Their laughter died as their laborious reality returned. Pidge checked her scanner. All was clear. Nothing but tractors, tilled dirt, and registered man/robotic power. No life or electronic signals out of the ordinary. 

“How long do you think these scouting missions will last?” Hunk half asked, half sighed. 

Pidge sighed in response. 

“It’s already been a month. Shay’s party is only two months away.” Concern began to creep into his voice. 

“Don’t worry Hunk. If I have to cover your shifts and forgo sleep for an entire movement, I will. There’s no way you are gonna miss it. Besides, Shiro knows how important it is to you. I’m sure he would make an exception for you.” Pidge tasted the lie the moment it left her lips. 

“Thanks Pidge, but I doubt Shiro would consent. He’s already got you on a strict sleep schedule.” Pidge frowned; he was right. Shiro wasn’t as understanding as he used to be. Something was eating at him, something he didn’t want to share with the rest of the team. He feared something… and weakening their forces so one of his soldiers could be a supportive boyfriend was out of the question. 

The pair dropped back into silence as they stewed. 

“Hey Pidge.” 

“Hmm?”

“Are we ever going to return to Earth?”

“What kind of question is that?” She half-heartedly laughed. “Of course we will, once we end this war and bring peace back to the universe.”  
“And when will that be?” Pidge’s hope emptied at his words. “We defeated Zarkon, but we are still here. From the beginning, I thought that would be end game, shoot off some confetti and go home… but that’s not the case. There’s always another war, someone’s always scrambling for power or looking to create chaos. Our own history on Earth is proof enough of that. Peace does not exist.”

“Where is all this coming from?” Pidge asked wearily.

Hunk let out a heavy sigh. “I don’t know; I guess these long stake-out missions have given me a lot of time to think.”

“About what exactly?”

“That we are growing up and our destinies have already been decided for us. We have been tasked with the incredible duty of being saviors of the universe and we never really had a say in it. It’s not a position that can easily be handed off to someone else. There’s no playing hooky when we are too tired or just need a me-day. And what about our future? What about our families back home? Or having our own families someday?” Hunk took a breath. “As long as the universe needs Voltron, there is no going home. There is no future… at least not one we have a say in. We are forever bound to this life of servitude.” 

Pidge sat stunned as she tried to absorb Hunk’s words. She hadn’t given much thought to her future. For years, her one goal had been to find her brother and father, and she had succeeded. Truthfully, she hadn’t thought much in the way of HER future beyond that. She had been satisfied enough with her role in Voltron and fiddling with robotics and computer codes all day. Her wants were simple. Wasn’t she still young? Too young to be considering stuff like having her own family… but Hunk was thinking about it. Was he perhaps thinking of wanting to make a life with Shay?! When had Hunk become so mature? He was right though. As long as they were needed to pilot Voltron, having a family was out of the question. How could they if they were always fighting several galaxies away? 

Pidge was hit with the sobering reality.

“You really care for Shay, don’t you?” She said, sadly. 

“More than anyone.” Hunk affirmed and Pidge’s heart broke for him. 

“Don’t let your mother hear you say that.” She half-heartedly teased. 

“Mothers are in a category of their own. They are untouchable.” Hunk shot back with forced attitude. 

“I better be invited to the wedding.” A wedding neither believed would ever happen.

“You don’t exactly have a choice. You and Lance will be my best men, or um, best gal.” Pidge’s eyes began to sting. 

“There is only supposed to be one best man, you dope.” Her voice cracked. 

“I defend the universe. If I want two best pals at my wedding, I will have two.” 

An unexpected tear slipped down Pidge’s cheek, but she couldn’t help but smile at the seriousness in Hunk’s voice. Unable to wipe her face due to her helmet, she shook her head and cleared the emotion from her throat. 

“Then I would be honored.” 

“Mm.”

A comfortable yet solemn silence settled over their radios, but Pidge could feel Hunk had more to say.

“What about you?” He asked.

“What?” 

“Do you ever see yourself settling down, or are you already married to your work?”

Pidge flushed. It was an unexpected inquiry… she wasn’t prepared for the face that flashed in her mind when he asked. Dark blue eyes accented against think short lashes, flawless copper skin, and russet colored hair that flipped with a defiance that mirrored its owner. The face was smiling… or rather smirking. Her stomach fluttered at the memory of being up close to those sleeping, unguarded lips. 

“I’m taking that as a yes. Who were you just thinking about?” 

Pidge balked. How did he know?

“Don’t tell me it’s Beezer!” Hunk mockingly teased and Pidge snorted at the idea of Rolo’s and Nyma’s cyber-unit waiting for her at the altar.   
So Hunk didn’t know. “And what if I was?” She replied with mirrored sarcasm. “Robots are capable of having emotions too. We are soulmates!” Pidge paused with one hand over her heart and the other reaching to the heavens and shivered with embarrassment. Was she imitating Lance? She was reminded of Lance’s flourishing speeches of exaggerated devotion that he would give to any gal who would listen… That’s right. Lance could make anyone feel special with just a smile or kind gesture, but in the end, that’s all they were… empty playboy gestures. Pidge wasn’t special because Lance smiled at her, or rubbed her shoulders. He would do the same for his mother. Pidge wasn’t a gorgeous beauty… not like Allura. Unlike the princess, Pidge was scrawny, flat chested, and shapeless. Allura was beautifully bronzed, while Pidge was freckled and pale. And while Pidge’s boring brown hair appeared to defy gravity thanks to her pillow being her stylist, Allura’s snowy locks bobbed like a cloud on a sunny day. How could Pidge compete when there was nothing desirable about her appearance? No wonder Lance was in love with Allura. She was a princess, a leader, and stunning in every sense of the word… Pidge was just an ugly duck with a brain. 

“But seriously,” Hunk said. “You like someone, right? Who is it?”

Pidge pushed past the ache in her chest. “Someone… who will never SEE me.” 

“Pidge…” Hunk began.

“It’s ok.” Pidge felt the lie clog in her throat. “I have always been better with robots anyways. Maybe Beezer will have me after all.”   
Hunk began to protest when a timer sounded on their dashboard. Time to rest. It was easy to get disoriented in space and with recent complaints from Shiro, the paladins were no longer allowed to stretch themselves so thin. 

“You want to sleep first?” Hunk asked. 

“Naw. I’ll be ok for now. You get some rest. I’ll try after you wake up.”

“You sure?” 

“Yeah,” Pidge’s voice broke. “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep right now anyways. You go ahead. I’ll keep watch and fly a couple rounds.” 

It was quiet again and Pidge groaned to herself. There was no way she could sleep. Not with her mind racing and her heart conflicted the way it was. There were also the nightmares she had to worry about. They had begun a month ago. Originally, she would wake with only vague feelings and no memory, but with each passing night, she was recalling more and more. She began to dread sleep. It no longer meant rejuvenation, but rather torment. She was reliving the torture of someone dear; their suffering and eventual death. There were times where she thought she knew who it was, but it always slipped her mind the moment she was about to grab it. The first time she recalled having the nightmare, she had awoken in Lance’s arms. She thought she had been dreaming of him, but now she was no longer sure. The face of the victim was a blur in her mind. 

“Come on Green. Let’s have a look around. Maybe Rylock will show his ugly mug and we can finally be done this mission.” 

*** 

Lance took Red for another lap around the fuel depot as Shiro initiated another scan of the area from Black. The smoke made visibility sporadic, but his scanners allowed him to maneuver through the sky and avoid giant emitters and storage units. Compared with Hunk and Pidge’s quiet bean farm, THIS was the more likely target. A surprise attack would be easier to initiate thanks to the poor visibility and few personnel thanks to the fumes that made long exposure a hazard to most species’ health. Not to mention, the fumes were highly combustible. He wondered how long it would take for his pals to come to his aide should they have actually made the right prediction for Rylock’s next attack. As much of a pain in the rear a battle at the fuel depot would be, he longed to be rid of the lingering threat the pirate represented. He was ready for a day of REAL rest.

“Scanner says we are all clear.” Shiro announced over the radio. 

“Copy that.” Said Lance. He sighed once he switched off his com. It was beginning to look like his long-desired rest would have to wait a bit longer. Not that he would get any decent sleep when he did; not with all the nightmares plaguing his dreams. Every night he relived Pidge’s brutal strangling. Always frozen, powerless to intervene. His stomach twisted at the sound memory of her bones snapping; her amber eyes, void of life, staring at him. 

The repetition was beginning to wear on him. Darkness, a struggle, him screaming for the attacker to stop, SNAP. Repeat. Darkness, struggle, scream, SNAP. Repeat. He didn’t know how much longer his mind could take it. He longed for the darkness, but for it to be exactly that. Nothing. 

It was only a quintant before that he finally realized who he was actually trying to save in his night terror. Memory of the victim had always been shrouded in a haze. Why Pidge? She was so small. How could anyone harm her? Then he recalled how the terror always ended with him as the attacker. What was that supposed to mean? He would never attack Pidge, if anything, he wanted to protect her. 

Lance needed advice, but he faltered at his instinct to seek it from Shiro. A new reflex was to avoid irritating his team leader. Lance seemed to be exceedingly good at that lately. He made a constant effort to remain strict with his behavior and actions when in Shiro’s presence, but despite restraining his reflex to be a goof, it wasn’t always enough. It made Lance’s chest ache. Shiro had been his role model since his younger days at the academy. All he wanted was for Shiro to be proud of him. He thought that opportunity had come when they miraculously became part of Voltron. They had grown as a team, and Shiro even affirmed his as the team’s Sharpshooter. He had tried to be nonchalant about it, but inside he was squealing with joy. It was after Shiro fought with Zarkon and disappeared that everything changed. The Shiro that returned wasn’t the same. Lance thought Shiro was merely adjusting from whatever happened while he was away, he never spoke of it; but it only got worse. Shiro had become curt with them, distant. He preferred to give all the orders and no longer sought input from the rest of the team. 

Shiro had become a surrogate father-figure to Lance. Shiro did what his real father never could do. He had accepted Lance and supported him as a pilot, soldier, and eventually as a teammate. Now it felt as if the fabric of that fatherly bond was in shreds, with Lance desperately clinging to hold the pieces together. It was a losing battle. With each disappointment came a verbal lashing and more threads slipped from his fingers. Lance was heartbroken.

His shoulders slumped as he brought Red around to join back up with Shiro. He was perched on a silo in the center of the depot. If Lance wanted to smooth things over with Shiro, he would have to be the initiator. It also required him to be open about his troubles. Perhaps it would open the door for Shiro to do the same. 

Lance landed next to Black. His voice caught and his fingers began to tremble as he tried to find the right words. Lance felt a low rumble in the back of his mind. Red wasn’t offering a purr of condolences, it was more of a growl of ‘Man up.’ Red never was one for sentimentalities, but it gave Lance comfort none the less. 

Thanks Buddy. Lance thought. He filled his lungs with courage and opened up a comms with the Black Lion. 

“Hey, Shiro. Can I ask you something?” Lance exhaled in relief when his voice didn’t shake.

“Is it related to the mission?” Shiro responded in monotone. 

“In a way.” If Lance’s mental health and inability to rest was going to affect the mission, then yes it was.

“Alright then, what is it?”

“Do you have nightmares? Uh, well, I mean of course you do, everyone has nightmares, but what I mean is, do you ever have the same nightmare?” Lance felt his nerve slipping.

“Why do you ask? Are you have recurring nightmares?” 

“I guess you could say that. More like every time I close my eyes… and it’s getting worse.” Lance clasped his hands together to keep them from shaking. SNAP! A flash of splintered bone and blank amber eyes stung his memory. “The memories are starting to linger with me after I wake. I don’t know how to make it stop.” 

Shiro was quiet and Lance braced for the verbal retaliation. Was he still just a child, crying to his would-be father about a scary dream? Lance was bound to be put on cleaning duty. Clearly, he wasn’t fit to be a soldier if a bad dream was all it took to make him lose his nerve.   
“They never stop; you just have to learn to ignore them.”

“Then,” Lance’s heart lifted. “You?”

“Yeah, I get them too. I’ve seen my night terror enough times that I have committed each foul piece of it to memory. Sometimes it feels like my skull is splitting in two.”

Lance deflated. There was no stopping the nightmares? He just had to DEAL with them? 

“How long have you been having yours?” Lance hesitated to ask.

“About a year.” Shiro said flatly. Lance didn’t know if he could handle watching Pidge die every night for a year. What if it never stopped? Was he doomed to fail her in his dreams for the rest of his life? Hold on, a year? That was around the same time Shiro returned to them after he vanished. Was there a connection? Maybe Shiro encountered something awful while he was missing, but that wouldn’t explain why Lance had them too. Maybe nightmares were an inevitable side affect of spending too much time in space? 

“How about you?” Shiro asked, drawing Lance out of his theorizing thoughts.

“A-a little over a month.”

“Do you remember who or what your dreams are about yet?”

Lance’s heart clenched. “I did, just yesterday.” 

Shiro was silent, as if waiting for Lance to continue. 

“I, uh. I see Pidge.” Lance clenched his teeth. “I can’t save her. Every night I see her become overpowered, strangled and then… she breaks. I am always frozen. No matter how hard I scream, I can’t do anything. I lose myself in rage, until the one I want to kill is…” Lance couldn’t bring himself to say it.

“Yourself.” Shiro finished. 

“How did you know?” 

“Because I stopped fighting myself a long time ago. I was tired. It became easier to just let the beast kill me. I wake up all the same… just numb.” 

Lance was shocked. He never imagined Shiro, his leader and role model would ever give in to anything, even if was just a dream.   
“Who do you see?” Lance asked, despite the fear that he might be overstepping his bounds. 

“My fiancé back home… Adam. At least he was when I left. I didn’t leave on the best of terms.” 

Lance frowned. He clearly knew nothing about Shiro. A fiancé? He had no idea… but the notion humanized Shiro in Lance’s eyes. While Shiro was still his hero, he was also someone’s lover, someone who made mistakes… he was imperfect. The saintly glow dimmed in Lance’s mind and Lance found himself talking to the man on equal terms.

“So, Pidge huh? When did that happen? Of anyone, I thought your nightmare would have been about Allura.” Lance blushed at the unusual teasing remark.  
“W-w-what do you mean? Why Allura?”

“Well, Adam is the love of my life. I assume the nightmare attacks you by tormenting the person you -”

“COME IN SHIRO, LANCE!” Corran shouted over the comms. 

“What is it, Corran?” Shiro responded. 

“Head over to the Lythrille system. Hunk and Pidge have engaged Rylock and need backup! I’m sending you the coordinates.”

So much for my location being the more ideal one. No matter, it looks like I might get that rest I was hoping for, after all. Lance thought with a smirk. 

“We better hurry. We can’t let Rylock escape again.” Shiro had reverted back to soldier-mode.

“Right!” 

*** 

Pidge’s scanners showed nothing, but she knew Rylock was out there. The bastard had cloaking as well. She had seen Rylock’s ship come into range. Unfortunately, when she alerted the snoozing Hunk, he immediately fired off his rockets. Rylock had evaded them with ease and vanished from sight. 

“Dammit Hunk! Now he’s gonna run away!” 

“Ah, sorry.” 

At least now they knew why Rylock was always able to evade capture. The cloaking hid him from their eyes as well as electrical instruments. Rylock could have been right next to them and they wouldn’t have known it. She bit her lip. She knew this because she had used the same tactic and made fools of entire Galra fleets when she would float past them, undetected. She felt a fury to have been played by her own trick. That said, something didn’t seem right. Why wasn’t Rylock running away? Something told her he was still there.

That something slammed into her from the right, then the left. Her green lion was enveloped in an orange smoke. Just as Pidge aimed Green to fly up and out, an electro-pulse ignited within the cloud. The shock radiated throughout Green and its pilot, disrupting their mental link. Clinging to consciousness, Pidge felt Green be struck from above. Something with an immense gravitational pull smashed her Lion back onto solid ground. 

“Pidge!” Hunk cried over the comm. “Woaaah!” Sounds of Hunk fighting an invisible enemy were the only thing that kept Pidge connected to her consciousness. She had to get back in the fight. They were stronger together. Pidge raised her head. It felt like it weighed a hundred pounds. Her nerves were still twitching from the shock when she tried her controls. It was no good. Green still had a volt of power, but she was too weak to move. Something was keeping her restrained. 

Pidge unstrapped herself from her seat and headed for the exit to investigate. Once outside, she could see that her lion was being secured by an electrified net with gravity enhanced weights. Pidge wasn’t stupid enough to try and cut the wires; they pulsed green with a live current. She would have to find a way to deactivate the weights. She groaned when she counted twelve of them.

Pidge approached the first one and immediately felt its effects. She collapsed to her knees and began to pant with exertion. Work was slow as she strained against the heavy gravity. She opened the control panel, bypassed the trap, and cut a few wires. As gravity returned to normal, she immediately felt her strength return to her. 

Each weight deactivation became more strenuous. Sweat poured from her brow as her body became fatigued. The good news was Green was getting her strength back. Pidge could hear her growling with impatience. 

“I know Girl. Don’t worry. We will pay that bastard back for embarrassing us like this.” 

Hunk’s battle raged overhead. Missiles flew at a target that was impossible to lock onto. Pidge could hear Hunk’s frustration over the comm. Dammit, just a few more deactivations and then Green would be able to shake the net. 

Green gave a growl of warning and Pidge’s eyes shot to the sky. Rylock must have noticed her. She still couldn’t see him, but she could feel his presence above her. Green roared and Pidge lost her breath. Her consciousness was zapped out of her body and transported into Green’s. Combining their wills, their sight evolved. She could see! Rylock’s ship was translucent, but she could see him! She could fight!   
Except she couldn’t. Green was still partially restrained and her real body still lay outside on the ground. Her stomach dropped. She knew a charging ion canon when she saw one. 

Acting on instinct, Pidge raised her recently freed tail and fired. Explosions ignited against Rylock’s ship, but his aim did not waver. She did not let up. She fired and fired and fired. The cannon looked about ready to peak when the Yellow Lion slammed into the ship’s stern. The front was forced left and its deadly blow angled off target. The ground near Green exploded and Pidge’s consciousness was rocked back to her real body. She blinked and found her body pressed against Green’s back leg and covered in dirt. Pidge moved to sit up and felt a dizzying shock of pain run up her spine. She must have been blown backwards in the explosion. Voltron Lions were designed to withstand galactical warfare, not pillow fights. Her body slamming into Green was like being hit by a mountain… at least it felt like it. Thank Voltron for her body armor. 

The sky came alive with the roaring of lions. Black and Red came barreling onto their location. Black veered left to assist Hunk, who somehow still clung to the back of Rylock’s cloaked ship. Without Green’s eyes, Rylock was invisible again, so Yellow appeared to be clutching air. Red angled right towards her and Pidge’s chest swelled. 

*** 

Lance and Shiro came upon the fluuto bean farm to find it decimated. Giant craters covered the once tilled dirt. Buildings stood ready to crumble and machinery sat smoking or ablaze. Where were Pidge and Hunk? Lance wondered. He was answered by a series of blasts at the far end of the farm, to his left. 

“Shiro,” Lance began

“I know. Let’s go!” Their lions roared and accelerated towards the blast. Lance used his lion’s scope to zoom in and look ahead. The first thing he saw was Yellow flying around erratically. 

What the hell is Hunk doing?! 

His eyes caught on explosions further left. Green lay trapped under a net of some sort and was firing at the sky with its tail. Strangely enough, the sky exploded. Lance watched as Hunk spun and rammed into what looked like smoky air. That was when the ground exploded. Dirt showered Green with debris and its tail went limp. 

Pidge.

Lance didn’t have to say it. Shiro aimed Black at Hunk and shot off to assist. Pidge was HIS to assist. 

As he flew closer, he scoped out the green lion for damage. She was still intact, but could she fly? Something had to be done about whatever was holding her down. 

“Pidge! Pidge come in!” Why was he being so formal? Perhaps too much alone-time with Shiro was rubbing off on him?   
“Hey.” She groaned. “Took you long enough.” 

There was movement at the base of Green’s leg and Lance took aim. To his shock and horror, it was Pidge! Why was she out of her lion?! Was she outside when that last explosion hit? 

Lance touched down next to Green and couldn’t get his harness off fast enough. He fought with the straps and sprinted to his partner. He found Pidge crouched in front of a large grey oval, fiddling with wires. The sight of her working gave him some relief. 

Pidge suddenly turned on him, but whatever warning she was about to give, came too late. A wave of pressure came over Lance’s body and he collapsed face first in the dirt. The shock of it, took his breath away. 

“Yeah, watch out for the gravity. It’s a little heavy.”

Lance lifted his face to her. She appeared hazy through his dust covered helmet. “You could have warned me.” 

“And spoil the fun? I had to get you back somehow for telling Hunk I’ve been wearing Keith’s clothes. He won’t let up.” 

“Is this really the time or place for making comebacks?”

“Not really, but I figured it happened, so I will claim it as MY victory.”

Lance smirked. Pidge was adorable when she acted smug… Wait. He shook his head. Not the place, Lance! He reminded himself.

Lance fought the gravity and slowly raised himself to his hands and knees. More explosions sounded overhead. They needed to hurry. 

“Anything I can help with?”

“Can I trust you to NOT set off the traps that will trigger the gravity to become one-hundred times heavier?” 

“Uhhh, probably not.” Lance replied sheepishly. 

“Then,” she extended a hand to him. “Help me get to the last couple weights so I can do it.” 

Lance looked from her hand to her dazzling amber eyes. Despite her helmet shield, he could see her confidence shine through. He grasped her arm.

“Of course, my lady.” He pulled her up and saw her wince. “You’re hurt?”

“It’s nothing. Just got a little banged up is all.” 

He wanted to believe her, so he led her to the final three weights. Each time he supported her so her body didn’t have to take the brunt of the pressure. It felt like hammers pounding him into the dirt. He looked about and saw the ten others she already deactivated without his help. She withstood it all. Pidge may be small, but she wasn’t weak. She was more than just a brilliant mind, she was courageous, dependable, and persistent. No wonder he was falling for her. 

By the time they were done, Lance was sweating and both were panting. 

“Alright. Green should be able to withstand the net’s shock enough to get airborne and shake it off. Get back to Red and back me up.”

“Wait,” Lance said. “You’re hurt. Why not let us take care of Rylock?”

Pidge pointed to the sky. “Because none of you can see him and I can.” That was news to Lance. “Now, why don’t you stop trying to be a gentleman and let me take it from here?” Lance smirked with fondess. He could add cheeky to his list of adjectives that he would use to describe Pidge. 

“Alright. Lead the way.” 

*** 

End of chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> New chapter will be out soon  
> :)


	9. Keep it Hidden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle with Rylock has an unexpected outcome and Pidge realizes she has more to fear than just her nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Voltron time reference:  
> Deca-phoeb: year

Lance watched from Red’s cockpit as Green ignited her thrusters and leapt into the air. The pesky electrified net still clung to her frame and green sparks radiated over her body. She roared in defiance and rolled, mid-flight. The net clung with the stubborn power of static before it finally slipped and crashed in the dirt. Free at last, Lance gazed into the sky and saw Green give a victory roar. With grace, she looped back around and hovered just above him.

“Everyone! Cease fire. I will engage Rylock. Wait for me. I will tell you where to strike.”

The confidence in Pidge’s voice compelled Lance to follow her orders without question. He was beginning to feel like he could follow her anywhere.

“And Sharpshooter,” Lance perked at his nickname. “Try not to hit me in the process.”

“Heh, then you better make sure your coordinates are on point.”

Lance saw a flash in Green’s eyes and then she was gone. The farm was visibly empty of a target and of Pidge, but explosions began popping off all over the sky. Lance felt a low rumble in the back of his mind. Red was uneasy about something.

Lance couldn’t see it, but he heard the biting and slashing of metal. Green was enraged and ready to devour the pirate who wronged her. He began to wonder if he and his fellow paladins were needed at all.

Coordinates flashed on his dashboard.

“Everyone, I’m bringing him around. Wait for my signal!”

Lance aimed Red for the sky and became airborne. He honed in on the location. It was a fuel pod used to power the farm equipment. Was she crazy? What if she got caught in the blast as well?!

“Umm, Pidge.” Hunk complained.

“Just do it, Hunk!” Pidge yelled. “Trust me.”

“But-”

“Hunk!” Lance quelled his teammate. “I trust her.”

“Alright Guys!” Pidge called over the comm; a heaviness in her voice. “On my mark.”

Lance worried about Pidge’s sudden strain, but there was no time. He began charging his shot and took aim.

Pidge began a countdown. “5, 4,”

Lance inhaled.

“3, 2,”

Hold steady.

“1,”

Exhale.

“FIRE!”

Three lions simultaneously fired an energy blast from their open jaws and the pod erupted into an inferno. The outlines of a ship began to flicker into view and Lance fired upon it again. Hunk slammed it with five missiles while Shiro shot apart its bow. The ship groaned as it began to lose altitude and descended into a nose dive. The ship could no longer sustain its cloaking and Lance could see the ship was falling apart and burning from the inside.

Rylock was finished. They had him!

A fierce growl howled from above and Green dive bombed the ship. She crushed it the remaining ten meters into the dirt. She let out a ferocious roar and began shredding the metal with her teeth and claws. The savagery mirrored a starved lioness, ripping into the hide of wildebeest on the Savannah. Sparks exploded and flames emerged from the ruined hull, but still the green lion dug.

Lance was stunned by the bloodlust. From above he watched as Green’s claws tore away the metal hide as if it were tinfoil. She exposed the helm and what must have been Captain Rylock with several of his crewmates. Through his scope, Lance could see the horror on the pirates’ faces, and it mirrored his own uncertainty. Green reared her head back for what looked like a killing bite.

Wait. Hold on!

“P-----!”

Green’s conflicted roar drowned out Lance’s plea to halt. Green turned her golden eyes upon Lance and he found he couldn’t breathe. He wasn’t sure if it was Pidge or the lion holding his gaze, but there was something primal about it. Before Lance could react, he felt her rage deplete, but Lance still couldn’t find his breath. Green returned her nose to her foe and hissed before jumping off the ship’s decimated carcass and sauntered off. Lance should have been satisfied seeing the enemy collapse over each other in fear, but all he felt was relief.

Lance finally exhaled. It was over. Smoke filled the sky. Abandoned robotic farm vehicles sat stranded or ablaze. Blast craters, still aglow, dotted the once tilled land and metal structures, but the dust was settling. 

Rylock and his crew stumbled out of their ship and surrendered without protest. They trembled like chihuahuas on a cold day without their sweaters. Hunk and Shiro put them in cuffs and Lance couldn’t believe that THIS was Rylock. It didn’t make sense. It was shameful, not the Galra way. If it weren’t for the insistent shaking Rylock would have been ferocious to behold. He was enormous, even by Galran standards. His heavy brow and enlarged fangs served to enhance his beast-like reputation. He was supposed to be a ferocious pirate captain. He was supposed to be cunning. He had craftily evaded Voltron and the Empire for weeks. He had been a giant headache, but now he stood before him, surrendering and quivering in fear. So much for ‘Victory or death.’

Lotor sent one of his commanders to retrieve the pirates and work something out with the employees of the fluuto bean farm. All workers had been told to take a couple days off while the paladins lay in wait for Rylock. To avoid suspicion, robotic machinery had been left operational. Now, the farm owner and supervisors were frantically negotiating with some of Lotor’s men about reimbursement. Lance couldn’t blame them. They had just lost their livelihood. Voltron’s mission had been to stop Rylock in order to prevent disasters like the one that just transpired from continuously happening. If there was a positive, while the attack on the fluuto bean farm was by far the most damaging, it would be the last.

Lance smiled to himself. Apparently, being an emperor was not as glamorous as it seemed. Lotor may have sent one of his commanders to deal with it, but he was still responsible for cleaning up all of the Empire’s messes and that included the ones made by Voltron. Lance knew he shouldn’t be happy about his rival in love being hassled… or, former rival, but he still got satisfaction from it.

Lance noticed that Rylock’s crew all averted their golden eyes from the green lion and its paladin. He supposed he would too if he was almost made into a meal. Lance turned his gaze on Pidge. What happened while she battling with Rylock? Red had been uneasy about something. Both Green and Rylock had been cloaked so all that transpired was a mystery. Lance only knew how it ended. She had gone savage and nearly killed the disarmed enemy. He would expect that kind of reckless behavior from Keith, but never from Pidge. Sure, she was hot tempered at times, but not like this. She had been calm and collected when he saw her return to Green and take off. What the hell happened to make her lose her cool?

Pidge stood apart from the rest of the team. They had all about finished giving their reports. They were just waiting for Shiro to finish speaking with the Galra commander and then they could return to the Castle of Lions. Lance joined her next to Green and a ruined storage facility. She hadn’t removed her helmet and it was covered in dust, making her face difficult to see.

“So,” he began with uncertainty. “What happened up there?”

Pidge turned her face from him and Lance began to wonder if he was going to get an answer.

“I don’t know.” She replied in a hoarse whisper. “I was fighting Rylock when… something came over me. I felt like I was losing myself…”

“I’ll say.” Lance teased to try and lighten the mood. “I’ve never seen you go off on anyone like that before. Remind me not to piss you off… uh, more than I usually do.” He laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head.

He heard her sigh. Had he missed something?

“Alright team.” Shiro announced. “Time to head out.” 

“Awesome!” Lance was overjoyed. The mission was finally complete! He turned to Pidge for a high five, but she was already headed back to her lion. She held her side and moved gingerly with a hunch to her posture.

“Wait!” Lance reached out and grabbed onto her shoulder; she winced. “I knew it.” He said solemnly. He held up his forearm and activated his x-ray scanner. His eyes pinched when he saw the results. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I’m fine.” Pidge growled. “And stop looking at me!” She moved to hide herself with her arms, only to spasm. She groaned and flinched away as Lance reached for her.

“You’re being ridiculous. It’s not like I can see anything like that!” Pidge flinched further away. “Dammit Pidge! You have three of your ribs are broken and you have a vertebra that’s shifted out of place.”

“You don’t say?” She panted. “And here I thought I was in perfect health.”

“This isn’t the time to be a smartass.” Lance scolded her sternly. “We need to get you back to the Castle and into a cryo-pod.” Pidge froze for a tick and it was enough for Lance to grab her up in his arms and pull her to him. Lance heard a pained gasp as she fell into his chest and immediately regretted his decision. He was just trying to get her to see reason, but once again, he was being an idiot. Pidge looked up at him as she pushed her forearms against him. The dust on her helmet was making it so he couldn’t see her face and it was incredibly frustrating. What was with her? Why was she being so stubborn?! Lance brought his hand across Pidge’s visor and revealed eyes of terror that brimmed with tears. Lance was taken aback and Pidge took the opportunity to shove herself away from him. Lance couldn’t do anything. He stood stunned and watched her board Green.

Lance clenched his fists. If she was in that much pain, she should have said something. What good did it do to hide it? Lance sighed and rubbed the back of his head. He had messed up.

White and yellow movement caught in of the corner of Lance’s eye. He turned his head and saw Hunk frown before getting into his own lion. 

Great. Now Hunk’s gonna give me an ear full.

***

Flying had been extremely uncomfortable, but she gritted her teeth and bared with it. Upon landing in her bay, Pidge was quick to avoid Lance. She, Hunk, Lance and Shiro all converged on their way to meet Allura and Coran at the Command Center, but she couldn’t meet his eye. She put Hunk between her and the cause for her recent heart tremors. She could feel Lance’s eyes on her as he was trying to get her attention, but she didn’t acknowledge him. She didn’t want to draw any more attention to her injuries than she already had. There was no way she was going to go to sleep in a cryo-pod. What if she was trapped in a nightmare and unable to wake from it? Sleeping was trouble enough as it was, she didn’t think she could handle it if all control was taken from her.

Speaking of control, she nearly lost it during her battle with Rylock. She had begun her assault with strike and flee tactics. The pirate hadn’t had eyes like hers, so she was indeed truly invisible. That said, Rylock had several trigger-happy gunners and a thick hide, so she was never able to be on the offensive for long. She deduced that she would need to hit Rylock with something big to shake his defenses. That was when it happened. It began as an itch in the back of her mind, a small tug. She had been able to ignore it at first, but whatever it was became impatient and yanked on her conscious. Rylock had almost blasted her during the distraction. Something yanked harder and she felt her mind whiplash. Pidge felt cold fear travel down her spine, her arms and into her fingers. It was a foreign presence. It became like a game of tug-o-war for her mind. Green had sensed something was amiss and quickly intervened. It had allowed Pidge enough control to bring Rylock into position and allow everyone to take the shot. Luckily the extra firepower from the fuel pod was enough to disrupt the ship’s entire cloaking system. Thankfully she had the rest of her team with her to apply pressure and bring Rylock down, because no sooner had she given the order to ‘fire,’ her mind was swallowed. It was a slimy, purple presence that was neither liquid, nor gas, but it coated her consciousness and began to suffocate her essence. She had felt like she was drowning in space, her mind on fire, screaming for breath. Pidge shivered at the memory as a violating, inaudible hiss-like voice stroking the back of her mind. If it hadn’t been for Green she might have been completely devoured. Green had leapt into the void, bit Pidge on the shoulder and dragged her back. When Pidge had come to, she was staring into the faces of terrified Galra pirates, their ship in tattered ruins.

When Lance had asked her what happened, she hadn’t lied. She truly didn’t know. Whatever happened to her, happened too fast and without warning. The dufus had tried to turn it into a joke, but she had been too shaken up to let it comfort her. Damn him; Lance was too observant. He saw that she was in pain. The damn explosion had really done a number on her, not to mention those annoying gravity weights and the initial shock cloud. Her body felt like it had been beaten to a pulp from every angle and yet, she was too afraid to let a cryo-pod heal her. She was afraid of whatever was inside her mind. What if it returned for her? If she was in an induced sleep, how was she supposed to fight? How was she supposed to flee?

“It’s a tragedy, I tell you!” Hunk complained.

Pidge jumped. “What’s a tragedy?” She found her opportunity to steer all conversation away from her.

“The fluuto bean farm was destroyed!”

“And whose fault is that?” Pidge asked.

“It’s not ALL my fault. How was I supposed to aim when I couldn’t see the bastard?”

“You know, loosing a fluuto bean farm might not be all that bad?” Pidge said.

Hunk was not impressed. “Please explain your logic to me, because I’m not seeing it.”

“I’m just saying, it’s not the worst thing that could have happened.”

“Nonsense!” Hunk huffed. “They are a key ingredient in my amazing FluBean Burrito!”

“And I’m saying, we would all benefit from YOU having less beans.” Pidge teased.

“Paladins! Welcome back!” Allura cried the moment the doors opened to the command center.

“Yes! Job well done on taking down Rylock!” Coran added, with a tug of his mustache, then snapped his fingers. “Especially you, Number 5. You were outstanding today.” Pidge puffed with pride only to feel a sting shoot up her spine. Must be that shifted vertebra Lance was talking about. She grinned through the agony. Just a little bit more. Once they were released she would sneak over to the medical wing and find a way to patch herself up… How did one patch up broken ribs? It’s not like she could put a cast on them.

“I can’t wait to hear all about it!” Allura exclaimed. “I can’t believe you got to fight him without me.” She pouted. “At least everyone came back safe and-“

“Um, about that,” Lance blurted. Pidge shot him a venomous look, but he kept his eyes downcast and continued on. “I have something to say.” Smiles faltered and everyone turned their eyes on the blue paladin. “We are all proud of Pidge for her amazing work today.”

Please stop

“I know I am,”

Don’t say it.

“but we are all overlooking something.”

Dammit Lance! Don’t tell them! You don’t understand.

“Pidge is hurt.” Lance continued. “I don’t know if it’s pride or what, but she is in bad shape and is pretending to be fine.”

Pidge began to tremble; she had to say something. “Lance is just being an idiot.” Pidge’s heard her voice quiver. “I’m fi-“

“Here is her x-ray.” Lance interrupted and displayed a hologram from his forearm that showed three broken ribs and a wonky looking spine. Everyone gasped and turned their eyes on her.

Pidge felt betrayed. Lance couldn’t even look her in the eye. She didn’t care if he thought he was doing what he thought was right. He didn’t know what she was going through. He didn’t know what awaited her each time she closed her eyes. If he knew, he wouldn’t be so eager to trap her there.

“Pidge,” Allura exclaimed. “We need to get you to a cryo-pod.”

“No!” Pidge cried. “I don’t need it!” Tears pricked at her eyes.

Please no. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I’ll figure it out, just please don’t put me to sleep.

“Oh, Pidge,” Allura began, “There’s no reason to be scared. Cryo-pods are safe. You’ll go to sleep and wake up good as new.” 

Pidge knew Allura was trying to comfort her, but her perky attitude was only adding fuel to her growing stress.

“She’s right.” Lance added sadly.

No. He was not allowed to feel sorry for his actions.

“I should know.”

Her fury lost its fire. Dammit. Why did he have to remind her of the time when they almost lost him. The image of his burnt, broken body was still vivid in her mind. It had been the price for his valor. He protected Coran at the near cost of his own life. To help save Lance, she had taken on Sendak and his men, sacrificed Rover… Realization dawned on her. She was being selfish. Lance was only doing what she would have done if their roles had been reversed. 

“It’s not that I’m scared of the… it’s just, I can’t…” All eyes were on her as Pidge started to fidget. Shiro stepped up and put a hand on her shoulder.

“We don’t have time for you to heal on your own. You’ll be out before you know it.”

The comfort in his voice took Pidge by surprise. She looked up at her team leader, but when she gazed into his eyes, her blood turned to ice. There it was. That fire, that glow that she had seen before. She hadn’t imagined it. Fear gripped her and she had no choice but to concede defeat.

Allura clapped her hands. The sound jostled the room and Allura could barely hide the glee in her voice. “Come on, Pidge! I’ll help you put on the cryo-form.”

“Huh?” Pidge felt numb with shock, but not enough to avoid the reflex to cringe.

“You are going to have a tough time getting out of your armor with your ribs all battered like that. I’ll help you wash up before we put you to sleep.” Pidge felt her face burn. There was no way she was going to let Allura see her naked!

“Is this one of those girl-bonding moments I have read about?” Coran asked innocently. Pidge was mortified.

“Oh Pidge, there’s no need to look so bashful. We are both girls after all.”

Maybe, but one of us looks like a goddess and the other like a gangly bean-pole.

“Alright boys, let’s save the briefing for after I’m done taking care of Pidge.” Pidge looked up at Hunk and Lance for help, but found none. They were both averting their eyes, faces as red as fluuto beans.

For the love of… seriously?!

With a cheery giggle, Allura scooped Pidge’s hand into her own. She did her best not to whimper as the princess pulled on her arm and led her away to a fate she deemed far worse than any nightmare.

***

‘This is perfect,’ thought Allura. Unfortunate circumstance aside, this was the perfect chance for some her and Pidge to get to know each other better. Pidge never seemed interested in talking or spending time with her aside from when they were on missions and Allura was determined to change that. It was just the two of them on a ship full of men; well, three if you counted Kalternecker, but the Earthen-cow didn’t really count.

Allura didn’t understand why she and Pidge weren’t closer. Shouldn’t they have some unspoken female bond? Well, she had found her opportunity. She gripped the green paladin’s wrist and lead her to the medical wing. Pidge had stopped protesting after they were out of sight from the rest of the team. Allura smiled to herself. Perhaps Pidge had just been putting on airs to fool the guys.

That’s right Pidge, you are not a man. You don’t always have to pretend to be tough.

When they arrived at the medical wing Allura closed the door behind them. She turned to her fellow paladin and saw her fidgeting with her hands despite the obvious pain it caused her. Pidge didn’t meet her eye and Allura didn’t understand why she was so nervous. As paladins of Voltron, they all had faced death and even the threat of torture, and not once had she seen Pidge as rattled as she did in that moment. It didn’t make sense. Was it the prospect of being inside a cryo-pod or was she literally just scared of undressing in front of another girl. It was absurd, but she supposed she needed to help Pidge feel more at ease. Allura put on her best smile.

“Alright. Let’s get you out of your armor. The sooner we get you washed up, the sooner we can get you all healed up.”

Pidge was silent and looked unimpressed. Things weren’t going as smoothly as Allura had hoped. She needed to get Pidge talking. It would help calm her down and hopefully lighten the mood. Pidge would need it, considering her level of pain was about to triple.

“Did you see Lance and Hunk’s faces?” She giggled. “I don’t think I have ever seen either of them blush like that before. It makes you wonder what they were imagining.” She teased.

Pidge’s face was suddenly red and Allura couldn’t help but smile. She was just as bashful as the boys.

“This is going to hurt.” Allura warned.

“It kind of already does.” Pidge groaned.

“Seriously though, your armor does more than shield you from attacks. It supports and dulls your pain receptors when you are injured. It was designed to allow paladins to fight, even when they are an inch from death. The pain you feel now, is only to keep you aware of your physical limits so not to injure yourself further. The moment I remove your armor, you will feel the full affects of your injuries.

“And here I thought I just had an impressive resistance to pain. Great.” Pidge smirked.

“Glad to see you are in such good spirits. Now, take a seat so we can get started.” Seeing as Pidge’s greatest injuries resided around her torso, Allura began with Pidge’s arm armor. There was a hitch in the girl’s breath when Allura removed it. How extensive were her injuries? Allura would know more once she removed the black temperature-regulating underlayer. Allura continued onto the legs, feet, and belt. Before Allura undid the clasps on Pidge’s chest plate she warned her to brace herself. The moment Allura pulled the two plates apart, Pidge let out a suppressed cry. Thankfully, she was seated, because she lost strength and collapsed forward into Allura, who carefully caught her.

“Holy quiznak!” Pidge inhaled a ragged breath. “You weren’t kidding.” She gasped. Allura noted the strength in Pidge’s grip as she clung to her forearms. She was impressed, or maybe it was just the adrenaline. Allura knelt there as Pidge’s support for several minutes as she caught her breath and adjusted to the pain.

“Alright, now for the hard part.”

“It gets worse?” Pidge exclaimed with glossy eyes. Allura appreciated how Pidge tried to smile despite her obvious discomfort. She was small, but she was indeed tough, at least in spirit. They needed to hurry. Without the support of the armor, Pidge’s body was on high alert. She had begun to sweat and her breath had become labored.

Removing Pidge’s armor had been a slow process. Removing her under-armor was a whole other issue. Pidge’s injuries made it so she couldn’t lift her arms higher than her chest. Allura began with the gloves, but found they were stuck, as if something was gluing them to Pidge’s hand. Pidge hissed as Allura pulled. It eventually came free and Pidge hissed through clenched teeth. Allura couldn’t hide her shock. Pidge’s hands were burnt. Removing the gloves had pulled off some of the ruined skin and reopened clotted wounds.

“Pidge,” Allura began.

“Ah,” Pidge winced. “That bastard, Rylock, gave Green and I quite the shock.” She slowly raised her hand to examine it. Her usual pale skin was red and oozing fluid. “Not very pretty is it?” She smirked, but Allura caught a sadness in her face.

“Not to worry. We will get you back to normal in no time.”

“Not much of an improvement.” Pidge mumbled.

What was that supposed to mean?

“I think it might be best to cut you out of your under-armor. I don’t see how we can get you out of it without causing you incredible pain.”

“If that’s what you think is best.” Pidge said weakly. Allura perked. Pidge was actually complying with her.

“Right.” Allura stood to look through trays of medical tools. Paladin armor and under-armor were designed to withstand the harshness of space and war; it would take more than just scissors to cut through it.

“Thanks, Allura.” Pidge said. Allura was stunned out of her search. She turned her eyes on the small human. Pidge looked miserable and kept her eyes on the ground.

“No need to thank me Pidge. This is what teammates do for each other.”

“I know that, I just… I know now that I would not have been able to do this without your help. I felt like I should tell you now before I lose my nerve.”

Allura beamed. She was connecting with Pidge!... but something in Pidge’s tone told her it was more than pride that kept the wall between them. There was a reason Pidge avoided her and never wanted to spend time together. There was a reason she was defiant and acted like she was holding some kind of grudge against her. It wasn’t gratitude that Pidge felt, it was guilt for feeling indebted to her. Allura sighed.

“You don’t like me very much, do you?” Allura forced a smile. Pidge flinched and Allura worried about her response. She wanted to keep things light, but she realized she probably wouldn’t get another opportunity to confront Pidge. An uneasiness came between the two paladins while the small one struggled to find the right words.

“It’s not that I don’t like you,” Pidge began. “I have great respect for you, it’s just… I guess I am frustrated and protective.”

“Protective? Of what?” Allura asked. Conflict showed on Pidge’s face.

“What do you think of humans?” Pidge continued. “Like, could you ever see yourself ending up with one?”

Allura’s calm was rocked. Was this a confession?!

“Pidge, I’m sorry, but I don’t see you in that light. You are a precious teammate but -”

“Gah! I’m not the one who’s in love with you!” Pidge threw her arms up and shrunk back in pain. Allura knelt to keep her from falling.

“My mistake.” Allura blushed. “Maybe if you would be less cryptic I might understand.”

Pidge was flushed and sweating. “I guess what I was trying to ask is” She panted. “If a human DID love you, would you give said human a chance?”

Allura considered Pidge’s question. If she wasn’t asking for herself, then who? She said she felt protective. Perhaps her brother?

“Well, I don’t think I can ever get used to human ears,” she teased. “But I see nothing wrong with them. I can’t speak for your entire species, but the ones I have encountered have been brave, resilient, and reliable.” Allura winked.

“That still doesn’t answer my question.” Pidge said solemnly.

“I guess that’s because even though I like humans, I don’t see myself ending up with one because I’m already with Lotor.” Allura pictured the half Galran, half Altean emperor with his radiant smile and flowing white hair that was silkier than her own. He had somehow stolen her heart. Allura recalled how she had been quick to judge him as an untrustworthy snake, but was never so happy to have been wrong. He proved himself a phenomenal strategist, compassionate leader, and unparalleled fighter. And how could she forget those golden, violet eyes? He knew how to captivate her with just a look. She remembered the way he held her to him that night at the gala. They had managed to sneak away for a tick and express their desire for the other. Allura recalled how her heart had fluttered when he closed his eyes and lowered his lips to hers…

Allura was dizzy with glee from the memory and was spoiled when she realized Pidge was frowning at her.

“I don’t really understand. What did you want me to say?” Allura asked.

“Nothing I guess.” Allura and Pidge frowned at each other. “You really don’t know?”

“You’re not telling me anything.” Allura said, feeling the first pangs of irritation.

“It’s not my place to say.” Pidge scowled.

“Help me understand. It’s not like I can read minds.” Allura shot back.

“You shouldn’t have to, to see how much he loves you!” Both were stunned by Pidge’s words. Pidge panicked and Allura was horrified to see her red eyes brimming with tears. “It’s so frustrating. He adores you and suffers because of it.” Allura didn’t know what to say. “Do you love Lotor?”

Allura was taken aback, but collected herself enough to rely, “I- I do.”

Pidge’s eyes squinted. “I’m not so unreasonable as to wish you to abandon your relationship with the emperor, that wouldn’t be fair to anyone. Hell, I even support you. I just want you to do right by HIM. Even if your reply breaks his heart, he deserves to know, to at least have his feelings acknowledged.” Pidge was flushed and angry.

Allura started to feel overwhelmed. Pidge didn’t want to be ‘unreasonable?’ Pidge was angry with HER for not knowing a silent admirer was in love with her. It was ridiculous. “How can I do as you say, if I don’t know who you speak of? Why hasn’t this person told me themself?” Pidge scowled and looked away. “Why are you getting so worked up over something that is obviously not your business?” Allura pressed. Pidge flinched and fumbled for words.

“Uh, well I… because… he is important... to me.”

Allura sighed. If love was the motivator of Pidge’s outburst, it sounded deeper than blood.

“I’m sorry.” Pidge said weakly. “I’m not myself. I think my injuries are making me a little crazy.”

Allura shook her head. The pain from her injuries may have made Pidge a bit testy, but the feelings were something she had harbored for a while. The question was, who? Allura looked through a mental list of all the humans she had met. She no longer suspected Matt. Hunk was giddy with love for Shay, so he was out. Shiro had a fiancé back on Earth. They hadn’t had contact with Keith for over a deca-phoeb and Pidge already told her that she was not the one. The only human left was… Allura thought she was beginning to understand.

“It’s alright.” Allura stood and returned to the tray of tools to continue her search. She quickly found what she was looking for but Pidge did not look too keen on the hand-held laser cutter that was presented to her. 

“Don’t worry, this tool was designed specifically for cutting through paladin armor… for instances like this. It’s perfectly safe.” Allura assured her.

“I think I will take my chances with the pain.” Pidge groaned. Allura supposed she couldn’t blame her for her skepticism.

“Look.” Allura said as she aimed the laser at her own arm covered in similar white under-armor. The red laser sliced through it with ease, yet the tanned skin beneath was left unharmed. “It is programmed to slice through designated materials and nothing else. Obviously, this little laser would be problematic if it fell into enemy hands, so it was kept off the records. I only know about it because I overheard the medical engineer discussing it with my father.”

Pidge smirked. “So you spied on them?”

Allura huffed. “I was a curious child. I just happened to be hiding in the right closet at the right time.” Pidge snorted.

“I guess we have more in common than I thought.” Said Pidge. Allura was relived that the stress from their minor squabble was beginning to lift.

Allura made quick slices over the black coverings on Pidge’s body. It was when she started to peel them off that things became difficult again. On top of dealing with more burnt flesh, Pidge’s modesty was causing her to fidget again.

“Can I have a towel?” She asked timidly. “And don’t look at me.”

“Pidge, it’s-”

“Please.” She begged. Allura couldn’t fight that look. She found a cover. It was grey and thin, but it would do the trick. Pidge desperately held it to her front as she sat on a stool.

Allura still didn’t understand. On Altea, it was common for members of the same gender to bathe in the same space. A naked body was nothing to be embarrassed about. She clearly still had a lot to learn about humans.

As the under-armor was slowly moved, Allura began to see the extent of damage inflicted upon Pidge’s body. Her burns were on more than just her hands. They covered her entire forearms, like a pair of seared long-gloves. Her legs were relatively unharmed, but her back, sides, and shoulders were a collage of red, black, and blue bruising.

What could have inflicted such a beating?

Allura could see the unnatural curve of Pidge’s spine where her vertebra had shifted. She was petite but surprisingly shapely. Allura did not have any adult human women to reference, but humans were visually similar in structure to Alteans. When had Pidge grown up? 

“How old are you?” Allura was compelled to ask.

“I was fifteen when I joined Voltron so… how long has it been? Two? Three years?”

“I’d say it’s been nearly three deca-phoebs.”

“Hmmm, I guess I’m almost eighteen then.” Pidge cracked a grin. “I haven’t thought about birthdays or any of that normal stuff in a LONG time. I can’t believe I actually lost track of how old I am.”

“Are birthdays a big deal on Earth?” Allura questioned.

“I suppose. Mainly when we are younger. There are some milestones that are rather important, like when you can start driving, or when you become an adult. It’s ironic. I’ll be an official adult soon, but I still feel like a kid. Even though I have fought in battles, risked my life, seen comrades die… even killed enemies, I’m still just a kid.”

“I don’t age really matters. You said it yourself; you have fought, won battles, and seen horrible things, but you have also done incredible things.”

“That’s… not exactly what I meant.” Pidge stated. “I physically don’t feel like an adult.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know you saw me.” Pidge looked ashamed. “I’m not a woman. I might as well be a boy. I look the part.”

Is THAT why Pidge was so insistent on hiding herself? She was embarrassed about being underdeveloped? 

“Pidge. Maybe not right now, because you can’t even sit up straight, but once you are healed, you should look at yourself in a mirror. You are more of a woman than you think.” Pidge looked up and Allura saw disbelief in her eyes. “I’m serious. Perhaps if you stopped wearing Keith’s clothes you might even start feeling like a woman too.” Allura winked when she saw Pidge’s horror. “Sorry. I overheard the boys talking about it.”

“I am going to kill Lance.” Pidge growled and Allura couldn’t help but chuckle.

Allura helped Pidge to the shower and held the cover up so Pidge could enter without being seen. Looking down, Allura saw the ground run red with Pidge’s blood. She heard her whimper and suddenly pidge was on her knees. Allura was crouching with her a tick later. She draped the grey cover over Pidge’s damaged body. The girl shook as she tried to hold in sobs. Allura hesitated, afraid Pidge would snap at her, but she let Allura rest her hands on her back.

“Pidge, you have to let me help you.” Allura coaxed. Pidge didn’t say a word, only nodded her head. Allura commenced in gently washing and rinsing teammate’s body. Allura did what she could to keep Pidge covered and keep her comfortable. Pidge clenched her teeth and groaned despite Allura’s gentle care, but she no longer resisted.

“Sorry I am such a pain.” Pidge groaned.

It was Allura’s turn to smirk. “You are not a pain, more like loveably stubborn.”

Pidge scoffed, but didn’t say a word in retaliation.

While their relationship was far from perfect, Allura felt like she had a breakthrough that night. 

***

Lance couldn’t stay still. Pidge had obviously wanted him to keep his mouth shut, but he couldn’t stop himself. With the poor shape she was in, he didn’t care if she hated him, he just wanted her to be well again. That said, as selfish as it was, he needed to apologize before she was put under.

Lance headed over to the medical wing and found Hunk standing outside. With his arms crossed, he looked like a grumpy guard, rather than a waiting friend.

“I had a feeling you would try to pull something like this.” Hunk huffed.

“Pull what?!” Lance asked, honestly confused.

“Don’t play dumb. I knew you couldn’t resist the chance to sneak a peak at the girls.”

“Wh- you really think- As if I would actually-”

Hunk raised a thick eyebrow at him.

“Ok, the old me would not have passed up this golden opportunity, but I have class and honor now.”

“Really?” Hunk crossed his arms. “Then why are you here?”

“I want to apologize to Pidge. Why are you here?” Lance shot his giant friend an accusatory look.

“I’m here to protect the girls from you.” Hunk hmphed.

“You seriously think I’m the scum of the universe.” Lance cried.

“Haha. No, not really. I have a project I want to get started on and I need some last-minute input before Pidge goes to sleep.”

“You are worse than me. She’s injured!” Lance exclaimed.

“It’s for HER, Dingus.” Hunk fired back.

The med-wing door opened and Allura towed Pidge, who clutched a white towel around her shoulders. Her hair was damp and walked with small, ginger steps. Lance feared she was in more pain than before. He approached her, but she didn’t meet his gaze. Lance clenched his fists to quell his nerves.

“I wanted to apologize to you,” Lance began and noticed the ruined skin on her hands. He bit his lip as his eyes began to sting. “But I don’t think I can do it.” That got her attention. “I would do it again if it meant making sure you were ok.” He tried to embody confidence and was rewarded with a weak smile. Lance felt warmth return to his heart. “Don’t worry about a thing; we will be waiting for you when you get out.”

“Hey!” Hunk interjected. “If you could have anything, what’s the first snack that comes to mind?”

Pidge didn’t seem to know what to do with that question.

“Uhh, I don’t,” Pidge began.

“Don’t think about it. What snack do you miss the most?” Hunk’s eyes glittered the same way Pidge’s did when she was talking about technology.

“I guess,” her towel slipped around her shoulders. The standard grey cryo-form clung to her frame like a second skin. “Peanut butter cookies.”

Hunk immediately disappeared into brainstorming-mode.

That was the ‘input’ he needed? What was he up to?

“Alright, I think we’ve all taken long enough. We need to get Pidge into the cryo-pod.” Allura announced. Lance saw fear flash in Pidge’s eyes again. He resisted the urge to grab her hand.

“It’ll be over before you know it.” He assured her once more. She gave him another weak smile but something told him, she wasn’t convinced.

Allura gently put her hand on Pidge’s shoulder and brought her to the pod where she helped her up. Pidge was obviously still nervous when she handed off the towel, but she followed Allura’s orders none the less. Pidge faced forward, kept her arms at her side and took deep breaths, but she looked like she might be on the verge of hyperventilating when the pod door closed, encasing her inside. Lance stepped forward and gave her a thumbs up. She smiled again, nodded, and started taking deeper, slower breaths, but Lance was unsatisfied. He began making goofy faces and even roped Hunk into being his ungraceful dance partner. Happily, his distractions appeared to work. Pidge appeared calm, even though she shook her head at their idiocy. It only took a few ticks after Allura was done inputting commands into the cryo-pod’s settings panel, for Pidge’s eye lids to droop and close. Her face softened and she was out. There was no sign of her previous pain. Now, all Lance had to do was wait and she would be back to her old self; good as new.

Hunk shook himself out of Lance’s forgotten dance hold and hurried off to begin working on whatever his project was and Allura stepped up to Lance’s side. For the first time, Lance noticed the half damp, half frizzy mess that became of Allura’s hair. He smiled to himself. Pidge must have put up quite a fight. Then he saw the watered down red on her white sleeves, Pidge’s blood. Lance’s insides twisted. 

“Can I ask you something Lance?”

“Of course, Princess.” He refocused himself and gave Allura his attention. He became weary when he was met with unexpected seriousness.

“Are you in love with me?”

Lance’s stomach dropped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, I didn't expect to struggle with writing Allura's perspective as much as I did. lol
> 
> Thank you for reading.  
> Chapter 10 will be out soon.


	10. Tormented souls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Torment, torture, and frilly aprons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize ahead of time for all the pain I put my babies through. It's like the more I love them, the more they suffer. Please forgive me.

Lance lay on his bed, atop his blue comforter. He draped his arm over his eyes, hoping in vain, blacking out his vision would block out the thoughts that spun around in his head.

She had asked him. Allura had asked him if he was in LOVE with her! He had been shocked speechless. To make the matter worse, he had been reduced to a pathetic gob of stutters. For three years, Lance had rehearsed said conversation an uncountable number of times… but when the moment unexpectedly came, he wasn’t ready. His heart no longer followed the written script.

Lance recalled the way Allura’s eyes had softened with pity. He had put his hand out to silence her before she could deliver her rejection-speech. He knew she didn’t love him and for the first time, without an ache in his heart, Lance knew she wasn’t meant for him either. The question was, what had sparked Allura’s question? He had made an effort to tone down his flirtatious remarks towards the Altean princess when they were paired up on scouting missions. He hadn’t done anything (beyond his normal antics) that would have clued her in; so what was it?

“I did, Princess. Love you, I mean.” Lance’s chest tightened. “For three years I pined for you… but now that I’m put on the spot, I can’t say that’s true anymore.” He saw question in her eyes. “Uh, that’s not to say I don’t still like you as a teammate… I-I just realized… I like another.” Lance unconsciously flicked his eyes towards the cryo-pod that held the sleep-induced Pidge. When his eyes returned, Allura was smiling softly at him and Lance blushed out of habit.

“I’m happy for you, Lance.” She said sweetly. “Sorry for springing this on you.”

“Wh? Why now?” Lance blurted out. He needed to know. “What made you ask me now… after all this time?” His nerves quaked. “You must have always known.”

“I just figured it out.” Allura turned her eyes on Pidge.

“Just?”

Allura nodded at their sleeping comrade. “She gave me quite the earful; saying I’m cruel for not giving you an answer.”

“Pidge put you up to it?” Lance asked, his heart sinking.

Allura folded her arms across her chest, with exaggerated frustration. “Honestly, how can she be upset with me for something I knew nothing about?” Allura raised an eyebrow at Lance who flushed with shame as his mood sunk deeper.

“You are lucky to be so close.” Allura commented solemnly. “You, Hunk, and Pidge seem inseparable; I’m envious.” 

“Princess?” Lance asked with surprise.

“You have a friend who cares enough to yell at a girl who was too blind to see her teammate was in love with her. I’m sorry for not realizing sooner.”

“There’s no need for you to apologize.” Lance interjected. “I’m the one who was too spineless to say anything.”

“Still, I can’t help but think back to all the time we have spent together and I wonder if perhaps, I might have led you on?”

“Wh- No way! If anything, you made your feelings towards me perfectly clear. That may be why I didn’t tell you properly… I dragged it out, not ready to face another rejection… but not once did I delude myself into thinking that I stood a chance.”

First Jenny, then Allura, and now Pidge?

Lance clenched his fists. “I have this terrible habit of falling for people who will never be interested, so this isn’t on you.” He felt a light pressure on his shoulder. He hadn’t realized he was scrunching his eyes. When he opened them, Allura was resting her hand on his shoulder. She had that soft, sad look in her eyes again.

Don’t pity me, Princess.

“You are deserving of love, Lance.” She squeezed his shoulder when Lance looked away. “Maybe next time you feel it, don’t stay quiet about it.”

Lance grimaced. How was he supposed to say anything when Pidge was acting as his wingman? He never asked for that! Now the girl he longed for was trying to pair him with his former crush… it was too cruel.

Back in Lance’s room, he lay atop his bed. In the darkness, Lance felt tears slip from his arm-covered eyes. He didn’t try to stop them. He would allow himself a moment; one moment to feel everything, the rejection, loneliness, heart ache – all of it. Any beautiful hope of him and Pidge being together was over before it had a chance to begin. He had waited too long… AGAIN. A gasping sob escaped his throat and Lance curled in on himself.

‘Sss Sss Sssssss.’ Laughter tickled the back of his mind. ‘I warned youuuuu. Sloths never prosper.’ The tickle moved like a shiver into his ear. ‘Poor, pathetic child; you useless log. It would be better if you didn’t feel anything at all. Maybe then you could accomplish something worth-while. Instead, you lay here on your bed crying for a girl who doesn’t want you. You are nothing but a friend… or a burden perhaps?’ Lance felt a presence intrude into his mind. 'Thhhhink about it.' The voice hissed. 'Pidge was only kind to you because you were all mopey, crying for the princess and your mommy.’ A dark cloaked figure crouched next to Lance’s bed. ‘Let’s have a look, shall we?’

Lance sat up and stared at a corner of his room that had began to glow. The hazy sphere grew until it was big enough to see it was a window into the part. A face came into focus, his face. He was crestfallen, sitting on some steps in a blue vest. The world appeared to dance around him, but he had chosen solitude. Lance felt the memory of being shunned and the obscure comfort he found in beating everyone to the punch. Amidst the haze of dancers, a spark of green came into stunning focus. She was petite, with a head of auburn curls and golden eyes. She looked like a fairy of mischief and goodness, his savior. She extended a slender hand to him, but he couldn’t take it. He had finally accepted he was alone. It was cruel. How dare she try to give him hope! Her presence glowed with acceptance, but she was too bright. Lance couldn’t stand it. He withdrew himself from her light, but the fairy-girl wasn’t satisfied. She reached into his gloom to drag him out. When he emerged, he drank in the sun light. It was beautiful. He felt like he could bask in it forever. Lance looked down and saw a glittering, golden chain around his wrist. His eyes followed it and saw it led to the tiny wrist of the girl – to Pidge.

‘Are you a damsel waiting for a knight to save you?’

Pidge shed her wings and her infectious smile transformed into an angry scream. “Go away! Get Out!” She yelled. 

‘You’re so annoying people can’t stand to be around you.’

The glow of the chain began to dim. Pidge’s face shifted into one of pity. She took his hand and led him into a dark room where a monitor flashed with static. She cupped his cheek. ‘You miss your family, don’t you?’ She cooed. Lance was speechless as her face soured. She dropped her hand from his face and turned to the monitor. It flickered and Lance’s heart lifted. His family’s faces crowded the screen, but they looked displeased. “Mijo.’ His mother began. “Why are you so sad? You have a job to -” 

His father cut in. “I always knew you didn’t have it in you.” He growled. Lance’s heart dropped. “You have always been weak, always fantasizing about being a pilot, living life as if it were a fairytale. You are useless. You should have never left. The Blue Lion chose wrong. Because of you, it is too late for us.” Lance’s heart stopped.

Too late for what? Lance wondered. Tiny Veronica came into focus.

‘Lancelot? Why did you leave?” Her eyes welled with tears. “The bad guys are here!” She looked around but couldn’t see him. “Where are you?’

“I’m right here!” He screamed, but she couldn’t hear him.

“I thought you were my knight.”

“I am!” He sobbed. “I’ll protect you!” He pressed his hand to the screen, hoping to reach his little sister. Her tears stopped and she turned her eyes on him as if she could sense him.

“No.” Her voice was dead. “You’ve doomed us all.” The image began to shake as Veronica’s world began to crumble around her, then all was black. Lance blinked back his shock. 

‘You will fail everyone.’ The voice hissed.

“No! None of this is real!” Lance hissed back, regaining himself.

‘Oh? Well what about you becoming Pidge’s burden? You always wait for her to take care of you, to coddle you. You pretend like you are not a liability, but you are an emotional wreck, a weak link.’

“No!” He cried.

‘Honestly, how is anyone supposed to love someone as pitiful as you?’

Lance didn’t have an answer.

‘Just look at your wrist.’

Lance did and saw the golden chain had become corroded.

‘You are toxic and will corrupt all you get close to. Take a look.’

Pidge let out a scream and Lance saw with horror as a rusted infection began spreading from her chained wrist and up her arm. Lance made to stand but the cloaked figure leapt to his side and draped the chain around his throat. Lance let out a choking gasp as he reached for Pidge. The rust had reached her throat and was continuing across her chest up to her face.

‘Sss Sss Ssssss.’

The figure laughed into his ear as Lance struggled. Pidge’s eyes had become red with fear. She looked to Lance for help, but Lance couldn’t do anything for her. The rust moved over her eyes, nose, and mouth until she was choking on it. Lance screamed to drown out the sound of her dying gags, until he too was strangled silent.

‘Sss Sss Sssss. Why are you so upset? This is your doing. You are a leach. You can’t survive without your precious comrades. You can’t be happy without the affirmation of another.’

Pidge crumbled into a pile of red dust and Lance glared past the tears. He growled and spit curses as his assailant yanked on the chain, tightening the squeeze on his neck. With a cackle, the figure swept Lance’s legs out causing him to collapse on his back. The figure hoped atop him and pinned him with its knees while keeping a firm tug on the chain. Lance choked and glared into his own snarling face.

‘Come on, Lance. It’ll be easier for everyone if you just let go. If you don’t feel anything, you won’t hurt, and if you don’t hurt, you won’t get in the way. Pidge won’t have to suffer and take care of you anymore. You’ll be able to protect her, protect your family. All you have to do is yield.’

Lance’s brain was on fire, starved for oxygen. He was weak… pathetic. He couldn’t save himself. He couldn’t save anyone. He really was a useless emotional wreck. What if he closed himself off. He would be able to do his job without any distractions. He just had to remove his hands and let the chain finish him off. There was no end to the night terrors. Shiro had told him so. If he let go, the terror would end him, but he would still wake. He would be numb. He wouldn’t be a liability anymore. Yes, that was the right decision. Lance closed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at his own twisted, victorious smile, and let his hands fall to the side. He heard the other him chuckle with satisfaction and the pressure around his throat tightened.

A muffled pounding sounded in lance’s brain. It was as if someone was knocking under water. It came again, but louder. Lance cracked his eyes to see the dark room melting around him. The cloaked Lance atop him frantically looked around. He pulled the chain tighter in a last attempt to finish him off, but Lance had found hope. The knocking came again, this time accompanied by a familiar voice. It was calling for him.

Cloaked Lance was out of time. His enraged purple eyes shifted to gold and he screeched at Lance before being swept away into dust.

Lance gasped as he returned to reality. He was in his room; the walls were no longer melting and Pidge wasn’t crumpled into to dust. He was alone. His fingers sought his throat, but he no longer felt any pain. The burning need for oxygen was merely a fading memory. The only evidence of any distress was his skin that was slick with sweat and his pulse that pounded beneath his touch.

BANG BANG BANG. “Hey Lance! Wake up. I need your help with something.” It was Hunk. Lance exhaled with relief and slowly got to his feet. He was still a little sore from the beating he took while helping Pidge deactivate the gravity enhanced weights. He wouldn’t be surprised if his back and shoulders were bruised.

Upon opening his door, Lance was bombarded by an over-enthusiastic Hunk. “Awesome! You’re awake. I was beginning to think you weren’t in your room. You must sleep like a rock. Anyways, I need a taste-tester, so you need to come with me… but um, maybe… you should change your shirt.” Hunk’s enthusiasm was quelled. “Actually, are you ok, man? You look like death.”

Lance finally caught his breath and pulled at the damp grey shirt that clung to his body. “Oh this? I was working out.” In my pajama pants? Lance knew he didn’t sound very convincing. 

Hunk studied him for a moment, a giant eyebrow creeping up his forehead.

“So, taste tester?” Lance added, wanting to change the subject. “That sounds like a health hazard. I distinctly remember the last time you had me try something. I almost died!”

“That was a joke. It was supposed to be terrible.” Hunk chuckled. “This time I’m trying to capture a certain flavor, but something is off, so I need your opinion.”

“So it might still be disgusting, but it’s ok because you aren’t doing it on purpose? I feel so safe.”

“Oh come on! Help a buddy out.” Lance tried to keep a stern face, but it was impossible under the guise of Hunk’s giant puppy eyes. ‘When did he master such a skill? It was very effective,’ Lance thought with a smile.

***

The darkness was calming. Pidge felt numb to everything. There was no breeze, no light, no heat or chill, just nothing. Considering the immense pain she had been in all day, feeling nothing was a great improvement. She didn’t know how long she had been suspended in the nothing, but the quiet was starting to get to her. The last thing she remembered was Lance grabbing Hunk and waltzing him across the room. If he was trying to ease her nerves, he succeeded. Pidge clung to the happy memory as she waited for her body to heal. What disturbed her was her complete awareness. She couldn’t wait to be free from her mind-prison.

The muffled crackling of a radio sounded in the distance. A choppy voice persistently tried to make contact. Pidge didn’t know who the voice belonged to and she didn’t care. She welcomed anything that disturbed the silence.

“i-ge, P- are… there? Th- is -ance…. you there?” As the voice drew closer, she was able to hear complete words. The damn static was still creating too much interference.

“Hello, hello? This is Pidge; the paladin of the green Voltron lion. Who is this?”

“I know which lion you fly, Pidge.”

“Lance!” Pidge cried. He’d found her!

“Ah,” He sighed with relief. “Thank goodness I found you.” Lance materialized behind her. He was clad in his paladin armor, but was missing his helmet. How was he breathing? Then she realized she too was without her helmet. In fact, she only wore the skin tight cryo-form. She suddenly felt exposed and self-conscious.

“Where… are we?” Lance asked, looking about him. He was suspended just as she was, so Pidge held her hand out to Lance for him to grab. He grasped her forearm and she pulled him to her. Despite her figure-exposing outfit and Lance’s body being mere inches from hers, she was surprisingly calm. She was happy he was with her. There was no such thing as silence when Lance was around.

“You realize I could have just used my jet pack, right?” Lance smirked. Pidge flushed and released his arm, but the movement made her fly away from him. Lance ignited his jet boosters and grabbed her up in his arms. “If you wanted to hold hands, all you had to do was ask.” His tone was playful, but his eyes shined with a seriousness that stirred something in her gut. Pidge couldn’t tell if he was making fun of her, or if he was actually serious. She supposed that wasn’t anything new. Dream or reality, she never knew what he was thinking.

A light stabbed through the nothingness. Purple lightning radiated from it as the hole stretched and was pulled apart. A figure draped in a dark cloak, stood on the other side.

“Sss Sss Ssssss.” It hissed. “I found you.”

Lance positioned himself in front of Pidge. The figure tilted its head and hummed in amusement.

“What a touching dream.” It chuckled. “It gives me an idea.” The purple lighting crackling around the breach was diverted and a bolt struck Lance square in the chest. He screamed as the electricity radiated through his body. Pidge cried out just as another bolt took her in the shoulder. Unlike Lance, who was limp and floating beside her, Pidge retained a speck of consciousness. It was enough to see the cloaked figure pull the two of them through the breach, before all was enveloped in white.

Pidge blinked and found herself in a glass cage. The only thing inside with her was a computer. She scanned her surroundings and saw Lance in a glass cage of his own. He lay on his front but was regaining consciousness. He groaned as he lifted himself. When his eyes locked with hers, she saw confusion and worry. He crawled over to the transparent wall they shared and pressed his gloved hand to it.

“You ok, Pidge?”

Was he crazy? He took a greater shock than she did. Worry about yourself!

Despite her thoughts, her heart warmed and ached to touch him. She crawled until glass was all that separated them. She placed her hand against his, but couldn’t wrap her fingers around his; she couldn’t pull him to her and never let go. She gazed into his deep sea eyes and a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth before he seized from another shock. He groaned as his body spasmed and collapsed. He became enveloped with purple electricity and his groan escalated to cries of agony. Pidge slammed her fists against the glass. When it didn’t crack she activated her bayard, except her hand remained empty. Panic filled her being. What could she do?!

The current stopped passing through Lance’s body and he lay twitching as his armor sparked and sizzled. The wretched cloaked figure materialized beside Lance in a fit of erratic laughter.

“Would you look at that! He’s still alive!” It fell into a crouch and placed a hand on Lance’s cheek. He groaned but was too weak to resist.

“Don’t touch him!” Pidge snarled and pounded her fists against the unbreakable glass. “Keep your filthy hands off him!”

The figure tilted its head, angling it unnaturally towards Pidge. Disgust shivered up her spine. “Filthy?” The figure grabbed its hood and yanked it off. “That’s not very nicccccce.” It hissed.

Pidge’s fury turned to ice. She was looking at a crazed version of herself. Constricted pupils and an uncanny grin. The Pidge before her began cackling uncontrollably. She felt her heart stop when the fake turned its gaze back to Lance.

“Handsome boy.” She stroked Lance’s face with the back of her hand and Pidge fought to scream. Laughter bubbled out of Fake Pidge’s lips, despite a weak attempt to contain it. “I can see why you like him. I like him too.”

“What do you want with us?” Pidge growled.

Bones crackled as the fake twisted her head back towards Pidge. “I want to play with him.” Her face became consumed by a unnerving grin that made Pidge feel ill. “You have to play too, of course.” The creature pointed at her. “I hope you like games.” Pidge’s mind went blank. All she heard was her imposter’s giggling fit. Lance needed help and she doubted the creature would play fair. Pidge didn’t have time and didn’t know what to do.

“The rules are simple. You just need to solve each puzzle before Loverboy here, dies.” Fake-Pidge through her arms up as if tossing confetti and cackled with glee. Pidge couldn’t breathe.

Is this a sick joke?!

“Here, it’s not really fair to be handicapped on the first round. Let’s restart things.”

Pidge didn’t see the knife until it was plunged into Lance’s neck. His irises constricted as he chocked and was dead before Pidge could make a sound. Her voice was lost in shock. Her body began to tremble

Lance! This wasn’t right. I didn’t even get a chance to save him.

“You bitch!” She croaked with fury.

“Now, now. Calm down little pigeon.” The fake sneered and snapped her fingers. Pidge watched with amazement as the knife vaporized and blood flowed back to its owner. All signs of electric burns and the gash quickly vanished. Lance’s body was completely restored! Her heart resumed beating when she saw his eyes flutter and gasp back to life. He appeared confused and touched his throat where the knife had been, mere seconds before. Pidge wanted to cry with relief, but she knew it was too soon to celebrate.

“See, he’s all better.” The imposter patted Lance on the back, but he side stepped her, grabbed her arm and twisted her into submission.

“You’re done!” Lance yelled. “Now let us out of here.” Pidge felt a brief moment of hope before her imposter began to cackle.

“Does this make you feel safe?” She sneered. “Fine. I’ll stay like this while I tell you the remaining rules.” Lance didn’t hesitate. Pidge heard a CRACK, but the ‘captive’ didn’t show any sign of pain. Lance had broken her arm, but it did NOTHING. “As I was saying,” The fake grinned. “Your timer is linked to however long your Loverboy can hold out.” She twisted her neck to look at Lance. “So try not to break too fast.” Pidge saw fear flash in Lance’s eyes. “Pigeon.” The fake twisted its face back to Pidge. “You will use the computer in your cell to solve each puzzle. Think of it as a game of Hangman. You just have to fill in the correct answer. The kicker is, I’ll be one cell over, having my way with your man.” Pidge felt a loathsome fury boiling inside her, but her helplessness kept her from erupting. Was there any way out of this? “So try not to get distracted. If he dies before you complete a puzzle, I won’t reverse the damage, and he will remain as a broken corpse.”

This is insane. I can’t do this!

“Uh ah. Stay vigilant, Sweety. Your timer starts NOW!” Pidge looked on in horror as her imposter vanished from Lance’s grip and reappeared by his side in a cloud of purple smoke. She gave him an electric shock before Lance could react and robotic arms materialized on both sides. They latched on to his arms and held him like a cross, suspended only inches from the ground.

“Lance!” Pidge cried.

“It’s alright, Pidge.” He groaned. “I can take it. I believe in you. I’ll hold on for as long as I have to.” Lance grit his teeth as the robotic arms began to pull his arms in opposite directions.

Pidge gaped helplessly. Tears welled in her eyes. How was she supposed to do anything while Lance was being tortured? Fake Pidge bubbled with chuckles and Lance glared through the pain. He locked eyes with Pidge and nodded to her. Pidge found her resolve and pulled her eyes from Lance’s suffering. She raced over to the computer. The puzzles were as simple as her imposter described them to be. Her first obstacle was twelve characters long with a clue of ‘Location.’ The problem was, her bank was made up of more than just her Earthen-English alphabet. It included numbers, as well as Galra, and Altean characters.

She entered the Altean character for ‘la.’

Bzzzzz! The computer flashed with a X.

Pidge entered the Galra character for ‘Te.’ Bzzzz!

Earthen-English letter ‘M.’ Bzzzz!

Lance groaned as the robotic arms pulled. Pidge felt her pulse quicken. She had to hurry. ‘Location.’ The clue was ‘Location.’ It was so vague. The universe was huge! It could be anything!

She could hear Lance stifling a cry as his body was literally being pulled apart. Even with the situation he was in, he was still trying to be considerate of her, trying to make his suffering appear less severe than she knew it to be.

A thought came to her. ‘Location.’ What if it was coordinates! She typed the number 9 and was rewarded with a ‘PING.’ There were two 9s. She typed the number 7. PING. 2 - Bzzzz! 0 -PING. 3 – PING. The number order looked familiar. She typed in the number 6 to test her theory. PING. That’s it! It was the coordinates to a former rebel, now alliance base in the Lireon System. She typed the Galra characters for Lireon. PING, PING, PING, PING. She added the final numbers and her screen flashed with victory.

Pidge exhaled and looked over to Lance. She was relieved to see he was still intact.

Her robed imposter clapped her hands with glee. “See, that wasn’t so bad! Time to reset.” She twirled her pale, bony finger and the mechanical arms began pulling with an elevated force. Lance immediately cried out. Pidge screamed for it to stop, but Lance only wailed louder. Pidge pleaded with the creature. She had won. She figured out the puzzle! This wasn’t fair! The creature’s smile only grew. “I always play fair, little pigeon.”

“You’re sick! You’re gonna kill him!”

“What does it matter, if I can bring him back?” She sneered. Pidge didn’t know how to respond. Her doppelganger was sadistic and insane. She ENJOYED making people suffer. Pidge’s blood boiled with helpless rage as Lance was slowly pulled apart. She heard his joints dislocate and his arms pop out of their sockets. She wept as he screamed and his flesh began to tear beneath his armor. Blood began to leak through the cracks and splatter the floor. Pidge was hyperventilating but couldn’t take her eyes off of Lance. Through his torment, she needed him to know she was still with him. With a final yank, Lance’s torso was separated from his arms and he collapsed to the ground where he gargled on his own blood.

“Hmmmm. I thought he was weak considering how easy he was to dispatch with a little electricity, but damn! Poor guy’s still alive. Yeeeesh!”

Pidge was on her knees, hunched over and heaving. Her body trembling.

Make it stop. Please make it stop.

“His armor it pretty tough.” Fake Pidge proclaimed. Knocking on Lance’s chest. “I was hoping he would be split in in two.” The imposter lifted her forearm, which had already healed, and began scanning through a hologram of notes and data. “Hmmmm. That’s new. How interesting.” Pidge felt dread in the pit of her stomach as the creature’s sadistic smile widened. 

Fake-Pidge danced over to Lance, who lay dazed in a pool of scarlet. “Ready for round two, Handsome?” A knife materialized in her hand and once again, found its home in Lance’s throat. Pidge flinched before dry-heaving. Once again, her doppelganger snapped its fingers and Lance was put back together and reanimated. He touched his newly connected shoulders and looked to Pidge with terror in his eyes. Pidge felt empty. She had no words of hope to comfort him with; there was none.

“How long will this last?” She whimpered.

Her imposter replied with another sneering grin. “As long as it can.”

***

Lance followed Hunk into the kitchen where he was met with a mess of bowls, dirty pans, and scattered ingredients and spices. Hunk was just as messy as Pidge! Lance cringed as he fought his impulse to grab a sponge and rag.

“Didn’t your mother ever teach you to clean up after yourself?”

Hunk sniffed. “Uh, Yes. She did actually, after I am done. But as you can see, I’m not done.”

“You’re impossible.” Lance sighed.

“It helps me think.” Hunk defended.

“It helps ME lose my appetite.” Lance grumbled.

“Uggg, fine. I’ll let you clean while I work.”

Lance was no longer amused.

“What?” Hunk asked. “You are already Pidge’s maid; you can be MY personal dishwasher.” He chuckled.

“I’m not her maid!” Lance stamped his foot. “I just can’t stand clutter. Have you seen her room?”

“Uhh, yeah. I worked in her room while we developed the communicator, remember.”

“Oh, right. Then you know!”

“I don’t know man. When I was in there, I never felt a need to actually tackle that mess. I think that’s just you. You’ve got a bit of OCD; it’s cool. Now, here.” Hunk presented him with a puffy black and white bundle of fabric. “Put this apron on and get to work. Those dishes aren’t going to wash themselves.”

Lance felt his eye twitch.

“I thought I was here to be your taste tester.” Lance grumbled.

“You are; just after you help clean this place up a bit.” Lance sighed. He couldn’t refuse when Hunk put on his big-cheese face. He supposed it was better than going back to sleep to see what new and creative way his night terror come up with to kill the girl he was growing to love. He chewed on the thought. His gut suddenly queasy. 

“You’re drifting off again.” Hunk interjected. “Are you sure you are ok?”

Lance jumped. “Y-yeah. I’m fine.” Hunk didn’t look convinced, but before he could press the topic, Lance snatched the apron from his hands. The fabric unfolded and Lance’s jaw went slack. “Why the hell does it have frilly lace?!”

Hunk doubled over with laughter. “I thought,” he heaved. “It suited you.” Hunk was gasping.

“Har har. It’s not funny… and what is that supposed to mean?! What kind of man wears lace?!”

Tears were brimming in Hunks eyes. “The kind that always cleans, walks around in his lion slippers, and wears face masks to bed.”

“Hey! Don’t knock the masks before you try ‘em… and what’s wrong with my slippers?”

Hunk didn’t answer; he just continued to crack up at his own hilarity. Lance scowled and gave the apron the stink eye before tossing it on the counter.

Like hell, I’m gonna wear that.

Lance began collecting all of the pots, while Hunk retrieved a new bowl and six other ingredients.

And so the mess grows.

Lance smiled and shook his head. He was helpless. Both Hunk and Pidge would drown under their own projects if he wasn’t there to clean up after them.

Some of the pots were covered in gunk that was rock solid. No amount of hot water would soften their stubborn clinginess. The more he scrubbed, the more dirty water and filth splattered over his arms. He had already rolled up his sleeves, but he was beginning to have close calls for his front. The stupid apron caught in the corner of his eye. It was taunting him.

Tch. NO! I’m not going to wear that crap!

Lance’s hand slipped, mid scrub, as if karma wanted to make him eat his words. Lance suddenly found himself splattered with grey dish water and chunks of soggy food goop. It was all over the front of his shirt, in his hair, and dripping off the tip of his nose. Lance stood, stunned and Hunk looked about ready to combust. Lance gave him an evil eye, as if to say, ‘Don’t you dare,’ but Hunk cracked.

“BwaaHAhAhaha!”

“I don’t want to hear it.” Lance groaned. Hunk hugged his stomach.

“Hahahaha, Ah! I got a cramp!” Hunk gasped.

“Serves you right.” Lance pouted. Hunk tossed a hand towel into Lance’s face. His breath was heavy as he recovered from his laughing fit. Lance huffed and scrubbed his hair and brought it over his face. He wrinkled his nose at the stench of it. He hated himself for what he was about to do. He dropped the towel and pulled his soggy shirt over his head. As he expected, he was damp and cold. He shivered and with a scowl of disgust, he snatched the apron from the counter. Already regretting his decision, he tossed the apron over his head and tied the sash behind his back.

“Pfh!” Hunk snorted.

“Shut up, Hunk! This isn’t a victory for you. I had-” CLICK “no choice..” Lance finished. “Did you just take a picture of me?!”

“Whaaaa? Of course not!” Hunk responded, putting his hands behind his back, eyes watering from hysteria restraint.

“Words cannot describe how much I dislike you right now.”

“Oh, common, Pidge will love this.” Hunk teased. Lance burned with embarrassment.

“Are you trying to kill any chance I have with her?” Lance whined.

“What are you talking about?” Hunk pulled his responder from behind his back to examine the photo. “This will make her fall madly in love with you. Look.” Lance saw, and felt his man-card tear in two.

“I’m serious! She already sees me as pathetic.” Lance’s face fell. “I don’t need her thinking I’m even less of a man than she already does.” 

Hunk’s smile faltered. “What do you mean pathetic? No one thinks that”

“Oh yeah? Is that why Pidge talked to Allura, to tell her how I was in love with her. Apparently, I’m too much of a pansy and need to have others confess for me.” Lance grimaced.

“Pidge outed you to Allura? But you don’t even like her anymore... right?”

“That’s what makes it worse. If Pidge was trying to pair me up with Allura, then that means there’s no way she likes me. I’m just a friend that she pities. I’m pathetic in her eyes.”

Hunk looked down at his toes and Lance looked away. His eyes stung. He couldn’t stand it; he couldn’t stand himself.

“Then all you have to do is prove her wrong.” Declared Hunk. Lance kept his eyes focused on the soapy muck of dishes in the sink.

“And how do I do that?” He mumbled with little hope.

“Show her that you are not a pansy and confess to her already. I don’t know if she sees you romantically, but I know she cares a lot about you. Maybe a little awareness is all it will take for her to come around.”

Lance looked back to his friend. It was so simple, but he was absolutely right. Even if Pidge rejected him, he would have redeemed his status in her eyes. He would show her that he didn’t need to be taken care of anymore. Who knew, maybe she would actually give him a chance.

“You’re right.” Said Lance. “I’ll tell her!” He clenched his fist as he regained his courage. “Will you treat me to some nunvil if I end up rejected?” Lance asked, timidly.

“I’ll do you one better.” Hunk smirked with a glint in his eyes. He disappeared into the storage room and returned five ticks later. He held a small, grey box in his hands and presented it to Lance.

“What is -”

“Just open it and try one.” Hunk’s eyes sparkled. With a lift of an eyebrow, Lance hesitantly took the box from his friend. When he removed the lid, he found it full of smooth, brown balls.

“Are you pranking me?” Lance asked, accusingly.

Hunk shook his head as a grin took over his face. Lance plucked a ball from the box and held it up for a close examination. It looked unremarkable and plain. With an inhale of courage, Lance popped the ball into his mouth. He tasted nothing… until he bit into it. Lance’s eyes filled with tears and looked back at his friend who stood with his hands on his hips, grinning with pride.

“How did you -?” Lance couldn’t finish the sentence. His breath had been snatched from him.

“Well, you’ve talked enough about garlic knots. Your descriptions were enough to give me a pretty good idea of the flavor. So, how’d I do? Am I close?”

“Close? It’s perfect.” Lance felt a tear tickle his cheek. The butter, the salt, the garlic, there was even a hint of oregano. It was like he was back at Varadero Beach, visiting his favorite pizza shack. Of course the balls Hunk made, weren’t hot, but Lance would often buy extra to save for later and eat cold. The flavor mirrored his favorite snack, perfectly. Lance popped another in his mouth. He was in heaven.

“You might want to be careful with how many of those you eat at a time.” Hunk warned.

“Hmm?” Lance’s mouth was full of buttery, garlic goodness.

“I designed them to be meal replacements.” Hunk scratched the back of his head. “You and Pidge are always missing meals when you get in the zone, so I figured something easy like a food pill would come in handy… Ack! Don’t cry!”

Lance fell into Hunk and wrapped his arms as best he could around the large Samoan. He was overwhelmed with gratitude and love for his friend. “Thank you, Hunk.”

“Don’t mention it, Pal.” Hunk patted Lance on the back before foregoing all awkwardness and squeezed him back. “You know,” Hunk began after the hug had run its course. “This would be really hard to explain, if someone walked in right now.”

Lance disconnected himself and flushed with realization.

“That apron does wonders for your figure though.” Hunk teased. 

Lance chuckled, free of embarrassment. “What can I say, real men wear frilly aprons.” 

*** 

End of chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)  
> Chapter 11 will be out soon.


	11. "Disfruto" - I Enjoy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge endures her prolonged night terror while she heals in the cryo-pod. Lance is confronted with a traumatized Pidge and must find a way to calm her.

Fifty-seven. Pidge had always been great with numbers. Perhaps that is why, despite her rage, fear, and nausea, she never lost count. Fifty-seven times, Pidge begrudgingly went along with her sadistic doppelganger’s puzzle games. Fifty-seven times Pidge had to watch the light leave Lance’s eyes. Fifty-seven times his blood splattered the floor and walls of the fluorescent white cell. She became overly familiar with every octave his voice could reach as he was separated from his limbs, filled with holes, burnt, strangled, skinned, electrocuted… the innovated list was a mile long. Not once did her imposter recycle an idea; she always found innovated combinations to keep herself ‘entertained.’ 

Pidge learned after the first round that there would be an end to the torture, so long as they could endure. That hope was the only thing that permitted Pidge to continue with each round. Lance even encouraged her, ensuring her that he could and would withstand it for as long as he had to. Lance even went out of his way to hold back his screams as much as humanly possible. His strength gave her strength. So long as he would endure, she could continue. She cracked every puzzle. She submitted coordinates, codes, minerals, medical equipment, etc. She knew every answer. It was like the prompts had been pulled from her head, but despite their lack of difficulty, Pidge couldn’t keep her finders from shaking. Her tear ducts never dried and her cheeks became salted with layers of tears.

Round twenty-four, Pidge’s twisted doppelganger got bored with torturing Lance while he wore his armor. Pidge’s heart thumped when the creature referenced her holo-notes stored in her forearm. 7.56 ticks later, a sneer of glee twisted on the wretch’s face and she stepped up to the freshly reanimated Lance. He remained suspended and helpless against his torturer’s whims, who apparently was freshly enlightened to the secrets of the paladin armor. She removed Lance’s with ease.

Pidge held her breath when her fake plunged a dagger into Lance’s chest, or at least attempted to. The creature screeched with rage when her knife couldn’t pierce Lance’s black under-armor. It managed more of a punch than anything life-threatening. Pidge couldn’t help but smile at the wretch’s frustration. Lance still had his spark as well and made the mistake of smirking at her. The fake responded by slashing him across his eyes. His robotic suspensions disintegrated at the fake’s command and Lance collapsed to the ground. He wailed and held his face as blood leaked over his fingers. Pidge’s heart jumped into her throat when her fake materialized a sledgehammer and twirled it with glee. Lance flinched when she hopped up to him and sputtered when she kicked him onto his back. She followed up by swinging the sledgehammer down onto his chest. A sob raked Pidge’s throat when she heard his chest plate cave in with a wet crunch. It didn’t matter that she had already seen Lance die twenty-three times; she would never become numb to his suffering.

Pidge watched helplessly as the creature again referenced her holo-log of notes. Her misery deepened when her fake’s eyes glittered with sadistic glee. Her smile stretched, deforming her face. With a twirl of her bony finger, the imposter produced a tiny laser that was uncannily familiar. The creature danced over to Lance, who still lay gargling and crying blood from his ruined eyes. His arms were spread and fingers twitched with each haggard breath. Lance groaned when the giddy creature knelt next to him as he sputtered more blood down his chin. She activated the laser and clapped when the resilient under-armor tore like paper.

“How delightful!” She squealed. “But let’s make a couple adjustments, shall we?” She quickly recalibrated the laser and pointed it at Lance’s navel. When she ignited it, Pidge trembled as Lance choked on a scream. “I hope you have completed your puzzle, little pigeon. I don’t think he’s gonna last much longer.” She cackled. Pidge had completed it five minutes prior. It was her doppelganger that liked to draw each round out.

Lance’s defiance dried up on round thirty-one. Fake-Pidge used her new favorite toy to burn forty holes through his body, avoiding his vitals so that he would bleed out before his organs failed him. When Pidge finished the round’s puzzle, the creature chose to dispatch Lance by slowly roasting him alive. Lance hadn’t been the same after that. Pidge’s imposter had no limit to her twisted imagination, or to what torture devices she could conjure. Pidge watched Lance endure unspeakable atrocities, but his will could only take so much. His eyes had become dull and accepting of his fate. He no longer tried to hold back his agonizing wails. They became louder and more erratic with each passing round. It was when he began begging her to let him die that her heart broke.

“Please…Pidge. Jush shtop.” He slurred. “I- I can’t… do thish… anymore.” He panted. “Pleathe… don’t anshwer… no more.”

“I can’t do that!” She croaked. “I can’t let you die.” Her soul was in tatters.

“Thith,” he huffed, “will never end. Pleathe.”

Pidge felt herself die inside. Lance had finally cracked. He was her rock, her courage. If he was done, how was she supposed to continue on? He had withstood thirty-one deaths and unspeakable torture; she was amazed he was still sane. Pidge frantically looked about her cell. She had nothing but the stupid laptop where she inputted all her answers. She had no leverage, no way to end herself and free herself from her nightmare. She yanked on her hair and screamed with helplessness, but paused when struck with an idea. She grabbed up the laptop and raised it above her head. If she couldn’t kill herself, she could kill the game.

“I wouldn’t do that Pigeon.”

Pidge glared with a spark of her own madness. “And why not?” She spat.

“If you break the rules and destroy that computer, I still need to stay entertained. I will have no choice but to prolong poor Lancey-Lance’s suffering.” Her eyes darkened. “I swear to you, if you try to take away my fun, I will make him pay for your selfishness. I will skin him and take him apart, piece by piece, without the relief of a reset.” 

Pidge trembled under her doppelganger’s dead pan stare. She slowly lowered the laptop and her eyes caught on the batterie icon in the bottom corner. It was already two-thirds depleted. Would they be free once the lap top ran out of juice?

“That’s a good little birdie.” Her fake sneered. Pidge ignored her. Instead, she turned her head on Lance, who sat slumped and non-responsive.

“Lance!” She cried to him. He didn’t move. “You can’t give up!” It raked her heart to tell him… to force him to endure. “We are nearly there.” She hated herself for it. “Just hang on for a bit longer.” She sobbed. She was too selfish to let him give up, even if it meant making him suffer.

He didn’t reply, only nodded with despair.

The rounds continued. Her eyes were raw from sobbing, her cheeks stiff with the salt of dried tears. She was empty. She had nothing left to weep. All she could do was die a little each time Lance cried out, each time she saw his blood splatter the ground and glass wall. Her soul withered a little more each time his eyes went blank and his chest refused to rise.

She never lost count. Round forty. Round forty-five. She felt like a broken record, repeating “We are almost there. Just a little more. Be strong for me.” Pidge realized her words were no longer for Lance, but for herself. Lance no longer responded to her. The only emotions he could invoke were varying degrees of agony. The battery continued to drop. “Almost there. We can do this; just a little more.” Her mind was cracking.

Round fifty. The battery icon was blinking red. Round fifty-seven. The icon was dry. The laptop’s screen dimmed and winked out. Pidge flinched and looked to her tormentor with dread. The fake crossed her arms and sighed.

“Done already? Where did the time go?” She sighed with a satisfied smile.

The ground began to shake, causing the glass barrier between the cells to shatter. Pidge stumbled over her feet as she scrambled to get to Lance. Her doppelganger smirked and slammed her knife into Lance’s heart. She disintegrated and reappeared in front of Pidge with a look of ecstasy. 

“I’ll see you soon, Pigeon.” Her whisper was like venom in Pidge’s ear. She couldn’t breathe as her blood turned to ice. Before Pidge could react, the creature disintegrated into a purple vapor.

The realm was crumbling around her as Pidge fell beside Lance. He was already gone, the light extinguished from his eyes. They no longer held the playfulness of the sea, or the ferocity of a storm, they were just dead and vacant.

The knife that had provided the finishing blow had vaporized along with its owner. Now Pidge could see the weeping gash on his bare chest, his under-armor long since slashed apart. His body looked strong, she knew he was strong, but she had seen it brake fifty-seven times. She placed her hand over the gash and felt her dried tear ducts, reactivate. Her eyes burned with grief as she sobbed into hist chest. She didn’t care that his blood coated her hair, or that is covered her face and hands. She had failed him. She had promised him it was almost over. Pidge grimaced at the irony… Her doppelganger’s words echoed in her tortured mind. ‘I never lie,’ and apparently neither did Pidge. It WAS over, only she was the only one walking away. 

Pidge screamed with agony as her world collapsed around her. The fluorescent white walls cracked and shattered the ground enveloping Pidge in a black abyss.

***

Lance groaned as he held his stomach. He had helped Hunk try to recreate the taste of peanut butter and his stomach was paying the price. Too many taste tests of odd combinations of ingredients he didn’t know the names of. When Lance asked what Hunk used to recreate the flavor of his garlic knot food pills, Hunk told him it was better he didn’t know. For once Lance didn’t push it. He chose to remain happily ignorant.

Lance happily placed the box of food pills on his dresser and made his way to his bathroom for a shower. He smelt of dirty sink water and clashing spices and couldn’t take feeling grimy for a second longer. He left the cursed frilly apron with Hunk and chose to walk back to his room shirtless, rather than risk being seen with it on by another teammate. Apparently, Hunk had been searching for temporary clothes for Pidge to make up for all the Keith-clothes teasing. Coran had shown Hunk an old storage closet that was filled with old Altean clothing and work uniforms. Unfortunately, everything was too big, but that was where the found the apron. As much as Lance hated being the butt of a joke, he knew Hunk’s heart was in the right place. He was trying to help a friend and with all the stress from trying to take down Rylock, Lance was glad Hunk hadn’t lost his sense of humor.

It had already been seventeen hours since Pidge fell asleep in the cryo-pod. She was due to wake up soon. He would freshen up, grab a blanket and perhaps a book and wait for her to wake. He had become quite proficient in reading Altean and their fairytales had similar parallels to the one’s found on Earth. He was sure Veronica would love to hear them. He wondered if Pidge would like to hear them as well. He blushed and put a pin in the idea to save for another day.

Lance refocused his thoughts. After Pidge woke up, he would suggest they all go to the swap meet to find her clothes that actually fit. Hunk wanted to visit the shop that specialized in Earth goods anyways. He was hoping to find actual peanuts for Pidge’s food pills. It was a win-win either way.

Lance discarded his soiled shirt and remaining clothes in his dirty laundry bin when he noticed the purple blotches in the mirror. The bruises covered his shoulders and upper back. If he had sustained such a beating from withstanding only three of the gravity enhanced weights, he could only imagine the shape Pidge was in. He frowned at the memory of her tattered hands. He hadn’t known she had been electrocuted as well. His chest tightened with protective worry. He couldn’t wait for Pidge to wake up. He needed her to be alright again. Words couldn’t describe how grateful he was for Altean technology. It essentially allowed them to cheat death. So long as there was breath in a body, any amount of damage could be reversed.

Lance hopped in the shower. The water was scalding and soothed his aching shoulders. His mind roamed over the events of past weeks, but one memory clung to the front of his consciousness, Hunk’s words, ‘Confess to her already.’ Lance had made up his mind; he wouldn’t back down. The problem was he felt like he was floating through space, trying to grab on to a lifeline. Flirting had been a harmless and brainless act; but he had no idea how to actually be sincere. How was he going to show Pidge that he was truly serious about her?

He turned off his shower and towel dried his body. As he grabbed his blue pajama pants he heard a quick tapping at his bedroom door beyond his bathroom.

I swear, if that’s Hunk again…

He stepped into his pants and opened his bathroom door to see Pidge. She had let herself into his room and looked like a deer in headlights.

“Pidge?” Lance said with confusion, before clarity clicked in his brain. “Pidge! You’re awake! I was actually just on my way to go wait for you. I thought you still had another hour… or so…” Lance’s excitement quelled. Pidge was frozen, mid-step, with eyes as wide as saucers. Lance approached her as if she were a terrified animal. Her amber eyes were on him, roaming over his body and Lance became acutely aware that he was without a shirt.

“Pidge?” She was still wearing her pale grey cryo-form. It hugged her frame like a second skin and Lance couldn’t help his natural instincts to inspect her figure. She always wore loose, baggy clothes, giving the illusion she was as shapely as a set of railroad tracks. Free from her tent-like clothes, Lance saw Pidge as she truly was. She had a small chest, but she did have one. Her waist was narrow, which accentuated the hips he never knew she had. She was petite, but she had muscle and fat where it counted. Lance felt heat rise in his face. Pidge was more than just his dorky teammate who enjoyed playing videogames and coding, she was a woman. Despite his self-professed attraction to the girl, he stupidly had to admit, he never once saw her for what she was, a stunning beauty, and it intimidated him.

Pidge squeaked and Lance was brought out of his trance. She had both hands over her mouth. His room was dim, but the light from his bathroom illuminated the tears brimming in her eyes. Why was she crying?! Was it because he wasn’t there to meet her when she woke? He mentally kicked himself.

Yeah right.

Pidge gingerly stepped towards him and Lance held his breath. Without a word she pressed her fingers to his chest.

“Woah, Pidge! What are you…” She ignored him and traced her cold slender fingers over his bare skin. He felt the chill trail across his torso and up to his throat. He swallowed and had to look away to try and quell his uncontrollable excitement. Lance was stunned as she explored his back, shoulders, arms, and hands. She ignored all of his verbal protests, as if she was looking for something. The moment she moved to inspect his legs, Lance flinched and grabbed her firmly by her shoulders.

“Pidge!” He yelled without anger. For the first time, she focused on his words instead of his body. She wasn’t wearing her glasses and Lance could see fear within her intense gaze. What was she so afraid of? He squeezed her shoulders and held her at arms length for safe measure. God she was tiny and for the first time in all the years of knowing her, she looked as if she might crumble. “What are you doing?” He hoped he didn’t sound rude, but he was confused as hell and needed answers.

“You’re okay.” She whispered. “There was so much blood… everywhere... the screams. I can’t get it out of my head. ” Pidge trembled beneath Lance’s grip. “You were dead. I saw you die… but you’re here.” She became frantic as her eyes scanned over his torso again. “Fifty-seven times. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” She sobbed and her head fell forward. Lance reacted before his mind could catch up. He released Pidge’s shoulders and pulled her to him. Her body shook as she wailed into his chest. He didn’t know what else to do. Pidge was hysterical. All he could do was hold her. When her legs gave out, he let the two of them sink to the floor. He tightened his grip around her and rested a hand atop her head; his fingers threaded her auburn curls.

“It’s okay.” Lance said, attempting to calm her. “You’re okay.”

Pidge shook her head as she hyperventilated. “I-” She could barely speak, let alone breathe. “I don’t-” She huffed. “think I” huff. “am.” Her grip tightened around his forearm and she buried her face into his chest. He felt her cool tears on his skin, mixed with the heat of her breath and skin. Lance was at a loss. The girl of his dreams (literally) was distraught and in his arms, and he had no idea what he could do for her. He thought back to when his younger siblings were upset. Louis never let him, but Veronica would crawl into his lap and beg Lance for a story or song. Lance tested his voice by humming. It cracked as he pushed his range. He had had a decent voice, but he hadn’t sung since before he joined the Garrison. He was out of practice… but it wasn’t about sounding good, it was about creating a distraction. Having found his rhythm, he quietly began incorporating lyrics. It was an old Latin song, but some lyrics were timeless… and those specific lyrics poured out of him in his native tongue with unexpected sincerity. 

“Me complace amarte” It pleases me to love you

“disfruto acariciarte” I enjoy caressing you

“y ponerte a dormir” And putting you to sleep

“es escalofriante” It gives me goosebumps

“tenerte de frente” To have you in front of me

“hacerte sonreír” To make you smile

“daría cualquier cosa” I would give anything

“por tan primorosa” For such exquisiteness

“por estar siempre aquí” To always be here.

 

Lance felt Pidge’s grip on his arm soften and he pressed on.

 

“entre todas esas cosas” and among all those things

“déjame quererte” let me love you

“entrégate a mí” Give yourself to me

“no te fallare” I will not fail you

“contigo yo quiero envejecer” With you, I want to grow old

 

Pidge nuzzled her wet face into his chest, her breathing finally began to slow.

 

“Quiero darte un beso” I want to give you a kiss

“perder contigo mi tiempo” Waste my time with you

“guardar tus secretos” Keep your secrets

“cuidar tus momentos” Take care of your moments

“abrazarte,” Hug you

“esperarte, adorarte” Wait for you, adore you

“tenerte paciencia” Be patient with you

“tu locura es mi ciencia” Your madness is my science.

 

Lance tightened his grip around Pidge’s small body and let his fingers play with her auburn locks.

 

“disfruto, mirarte” I enjoy looking at you

“cada movimiento” Every movement

“vicio que tengo” A vice that I have

“un gusto valorarte” A pleasure to value you

“nunca olvidarte” Never forget you

“entregarte mis tiempos” Give you my time

“no te fallare” I will not fail you

“contigo yo quiero envejecer” With you, I want to grow old.

 

Pidge was finally still, save for her deep breathing.

 

“quiero darte un beso” I want to give you a kiss

“perder contigo mi tiempo” Waste my time with you

“guardar tus secretos” Keep your secrets

“cuidar tus momentos” Take care of your moments

“abrazarte,” Hug you

“esperarte, adorarte” Wait for you, adore you……..

 

Lance let the lyrics fall silent on his lips. ‘Adore you.’ He smiled grimly to himself. Every line was a perfect mirror of his heart.

Pidge didn’t move. Was she asleep? He no longer felt tension in her body; she no longer trembled. He still didn’t understand what made her so hysterical. She had said something about blood, but between her incessant apologies and sobs he couldn’t decipher any meaning. With her calm again, he would ask her to explain once she woke… although he wasn’t sure why she would put her hands all over his body. His mind refocused on her words. ‘Blood.’ Was she looking for blood? On him? 

Pidge stirred in his arm. “That song,” she began. Her voice was quiet but steady. “I didn’t know you could sing.” Lance shifted awkwardly.

“I, um.” He began. Crap! She was still awake. “I haven’t sung in years. I actually can’t believe I just did that.” He untangled his hand from her hair and covered his face as heat rose in his face.

“It was pretty.” She said sweetly.

“Eh, you think so?” Lance asked nervously.

“Mmm, and your accent is kinda cute.” Pidge’s softly chuckled; the puff of air sent goosebumps up Lance’s spine and over his arms. “I didn’t catch every word. What’s it about?”

Lance heart stopped. “Uh, you know Spanish?” Lance was mortified. He sang in Spanish because he didn’t think Pidge would understand.

“I’m Italian, Dummy. Our native languages aren’t that different. It’s just harder for me to understand when you sing.”

“Y-yeah?” He sighed. Perhaps he was safe. “It’s called ‘Disfruto,’ or ‘I enjoy.’”

“Is it a happy song then? The way you sang it, made it sound sad."

Lance looked down at the top of Pidge’s head. She was still snuggled against his torso and Lance couldn’t help the conflict that that stirred in his heart. He longed to remain by her side. She was incredibly intelligent, spunky, courageous, and yet there was a vulnerability that he wanted to shield her from. He wanted to be useful to her… if she would have him.

Lance rested his hand on her head of curls with somber affection. “I guess it’s a little bit of both.”

“Well, it was pleasant to listen to. I feel calm now.” She stirred beneath his fingers and raised her head. “Thank you, Lance.” Pidge’s cheeks were red and glistening from her freshly shed tears… and a string of snot connected her nose to his bare chest.

His heart choked.

“Pffft.” He snorted. Pidge’s irises constricted and she turned away from him. Out tumbled more apologies as she vigorously rubbed at her nose with her sleeve, while with her other sleeve she frantically tried to wipe away the mess on his chest. Lance gathered her hands in his to calm her panic and forced her to meet his gaze.

“It’s okay.” He chuckled and wiped the leftover moisture from her eyes. This time, he could see Pidge believed his words and bashfully laughed along with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lyrics are from a song called "Disfruto" by Carla Morrison.  
> To listen with an English translation, go to:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11EBGOlI66s
> 
> Thank you for reading.  
> New chapter will be out soon :)


End file.
